Pron!

15 May

Working for a cable company, and realizing just how much porn people watch, normal sounding, Mom and Dad type people, is traumatising me. The sheer volume is stunning-I never realized! Listening to a sweet polite gentleman or woman on the phone while reading “Big Blonde “S__ts!” on their order lists never fails to make me blush.

Gimme your best porn story, while I fend off the spam.

(and hi. It’s been awhile. I’m busy, working nights, and the laptop gave the blue screen of FUCKYOU! so….yeah…)

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12 Responses to “Pron!”

  1. Jennifer May 15, 2009 at 7:25 am #

    You don’t watch porn?

    For me, I tend to disbelieve ANYONE who tells me that they don’t watch porn, read porn, think about porn or have porn like dreams.

    We are very sexual creatures.

    That said, knowing that both my mother and father had porn collections really skeeved me out as a kid. And also titillated me at the same time, into sneaking peeks when I could.

  2. Jen May 15, 2009 at 8:29 am #

    I once had a guy try to get a refund on a video he rented because it was in Japanese and didn’t have subtitles.

    We used to have a special 4-video bundle and there were some guys who would come in on the day we got the new shipment and rent/return several times.

    I once sold a double-ended jelly dildo as a weapon.

    One guy tried to bring his toddler in in a stroller.

    I kicked a guy out for eating pizza who ended up killing someone a year later.

    I was once asked if I could “spare a brother a blow job” while working. It was the only time I was ever propositioned there. Another of my customers chased him out of the store and down the street.

    After a year of working at that store I was completely desensitized to naked parts. I used to joke that I could trip over a gang bang in the middle of the street and not notice, and it was probably true.

    Good times, good times.

  3. Eden May 15, 2009 at 8:30 am #

    I never had any pr0n or vibrators or anything until I moved in w/ Hawk. We’d talked about it, he knew I was fine w/ it & that I actually wanted to watch some. He had all of his packed in a trunk & when we moved in, I said, “Is that The Trunk?” and he said it was. He had to go away overnight the night after we moved in to pick up something else (he was coming from Philly, I from Altoona, to Erie). So while he was gone, I thought, “I’ll just hook up the TV & VCR & put a tape on.”

    The trunk was locked and he had the key.

    So he thwarted my plan. I think he did it on purpose b/c he wanted to be around. In any case, my first attempt to watch non-scrambled Cinemax-y style pr0n. Plus I had to admit what I was up to b/c I was all “Where’s the key for the trunk?” when he got back.

    Those first three years, he was away overnight @ the hospital quite a lot. T.T. Boy became my new friend 😉

  4. niobe May 15, 2009 at 2:07 pm #

    Um, once, a long, long time ago, we rented a movie at the movie rental place (I told you it was a long time ago). Imagine our surprise when, instead of the highbrow existentialist drama we thought we had rented, we found ourselves watching the opening scenes of “Pizza Boy: He Delivers.”

    And don’t think I can’t hear you laughing at me.

  5. thordora May 15, 2009 at 11:22 pm #

    Niobe, I read that comment on my phone on the bus, and was snickering before I got to the last part, which then made me snicker even more, which made all the people already staring at my tattoos just plain stare at me.

    I watch pron-like it, enjoy it’s many forms. I just can’t figure out where some people get the damn TIME.

  6. raino May 16, 2009 at 10:56 am #

    i’m with jennifer on this. i think a lot of folks watch it and won’t admit it. so long as it’s not young girls or boys. and kinda cool that you have the ‘inside scoop’ on stuff like this.

  7. Bon May 17, 2009 at 7:57 pm #

    my story is a little like Niobe’s.

    last year, i got me a hankering to watch my favourite tv show EVER, Fantasy Island. there were no good clips on youtube. so i convinced Dave to download.

    took forever.

    we sat down all excited, with popcorn. and apparently Fantasy Island was one of those full-costume pornos (like Calligula, another surprise…we thought we were getting a nice educational Roman history) from the 70s.

  8. isabel May 18, 2009 at 2:06 am #

    I’m one of those non-existent people who don’t watch p0rn, download it, own it, have a collection of pics… I got nothin’. So, if you ever wanted to know, people like me do exist.

    That said, I have totally seen p0rn, just when I was way younger, like 10 years ago. I’m no saint or anything.

    I also used to work at a magazine stand and we sold p0rn. I mentioned to a coworker that it didn’t sell very well and he told me that it sold great, whenever I wasn’t on the register. Turns out the regulars didn’t want a woman to be ringing up there pr0n, just the dudes (I was the only woman who worked there).

    So there is a p0rn-line some places that men will not cross. I have no idea why it was there, at that place, because really me selling someone a magazine with a plastic cover over the naughty bits doesn’t seem all that embarrassing to me, but there it was.

  9. Marcy May 19, 2009 at 9:05 am #

    I’m another non-watcher. I have a hard time understanding how any woman, or any respectful, sensitive, caring man, can think of it positively. I guess it’s possible that some of it is just fun and raunchy and creative — perhaps not all of it is degrading or perverted.

  10. Mogo May 22, 2009 at 10:05 pm #

    i dunno if these would qualify as my “best” stories… but they’ll definitely raise eyebrows 😉

    http://www.efukt.com/2286_Deaf_Girl_Still_Wants_To_Be_A_Pornstar.html

    http://www.efukt.com/298_Octopussy.html

  11. cori May 28, 2009 at 8:52 am #

    I don’t really watch porn. I do enjoy good sex scenes in regular movies, though!

    Best porn story:

    After my grandfather died and we started going through his belongings, we found many decades worth of Playboy magazines 🙂

  12. Alicia May 30, 2009 at 8:35 pm #

    Ah, I adore porn but don’t keep any around. Once I watch it, not the same anymore, so any I do see is online. When I still lived in Seattle, my boyfriend and I at the time walked into the local Taboo to rent a couple dvds. As we went around a corner I ran into someone from the old JW congregation I used to attend growing up. They were still pretty active, heh, and looked at me shocked and quite embarrassed but I just smiled, said hi and continued what I was doing.

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