Archive | *snort!* RSS feed for this section

Ouch. Britney. That was a trainwreck!

9 Sep

Sitting here watching the MTV VMA’s, just cause I had to watch Britney Spears suck.

And WOW. Did she suck. She didn’t dance-hell, she barely moved. She looked like a deer in headlights who had never danced. And if you’re not gonna dance, sing bitch!

oy vey.

Sarah Silverman’s bit about her kids being the “cutest mistakes ever” or however she said it was just plain fucking rude though. Blech. Leave the fucking kids alone.

(and I know I’m lame, but dude, I have SUCH a girl crush on Rhianna….)

Too awesome not to share

29 Aug

 

For all of us who hate those fricken Axe commercials….via Feministing

Look! It’s our faults again ladies!

15 Aug

Apparently, eating crap while pregnant will made your kid love crap, and end up eating that way all their lives.

Cause all the curry I ate while pregnant with Vivian made her such a fan.

I buy the part about passing on poor eating habits. But the bit about the predisposition to eating poorly due to those tastes in the womb-I would chalk that up to being more about how the brain is wired, period. People loved junk food before their mother ate it, so there’s a bigger reason at play I would say.

But in the meantime, just another thing to make mother’s feel like shit over. Awesome!

BOUNCEWANTBOUNCEWANT

22 Jul

When I want something cause it’s super cute and awesome, I tend to do this weird bouncy fast clapping jumping thing.

It’s not worth watching, believe me.

But I am doing it because I want this:

cuteness2.jpg

and this:

mroecute.jpg

My birthday IS coming up Mogo………….pretty please?

snicker snicker snort

20 Jul

So every winter when my father is here, he whines and bitches and complains about the number of remotes we have (4) and the size of the buttons (normal).

He shall complain no more, as this awaits him upon his return.

giantremote.jpg

 

I can’t even look at the bloody thing without snickering….

That smell?

19 Jul

Cool Ranch breath. Is there anything worse than some jerk (that would be me) eating Cool Ranch Doritos at work?

hee hee hee.

“Help! My two year old is a screaming monster!”

7 Jul

All I can say is, buy earplugs, and wait it out. But damn, funniest search I’ve seen in awhile.

I won! You love me!

28 Jun

Remember a little while ago I urged you to hop over to Work it Mom! and vote for my little bitty piece of writing so I could win a spa certificate!

Well…I WON!

Only problem is, I likely can’t use it where I live. 😦

So…..at least I have a prize for the Pulsate Olympics in August!

Tis a good day, except for the thunderstorms

28 Jun

Awesome: Being able to use Interac to order “toys” online

Awetastic: Getting said toys 3 days after ordering them

Unbiasely Awetastic: Getting by mistake a toy that cost 5 times what you actually ordered, and not being charged.

yeah, about that jesus thing…

18 Jun

click here

Not that I ever liked Kirk Cameron, but DUDE! You look crazy!

Doesn’t he look like he might eat kittens or something? Or that he’s had one too many speedballs? Would you trust this man? Or follow his religon? Maybe it’s me, and extreme religous fervour scares me, but jebbus….

And it’s freaking Kirk Cameron! You should be wearing acid washed jeans and loafers and be trying to pick up hot chicks and shit on TV…

So um…

17 Jun

Why did no one mention that that Gene Simmons show could be so fucking hilarious?

That scene where he’s got the ski mask on, is riding on the Segway around his house with the wipeboard hanging around his neck? Jebbus, I just about pissed myself laughing and squealing to the point that I couldn’t breathe….

that buzzing sound? It’s my brain.

14 Jun

bored.jpg

I have the attention span of a gnat today. And I have a bunch of little, annoying things to do, and my stomach is unhappy with me, likely due to the ingestion of about 20 BBQ Pringles, and my legs are throbbing from the walk to work in crap shoes that don’t help my massive 11W feet. My toes rub together regardless of shoes-do you think I can get rid of my pinky toes?

Entertain me-witty links accepted. I smell like Pringles

and today’s lesson in Irony…

10 Jun

I know, I know. I shouldn’t give a shit about Paris. But it’s so freaking FUN! She reminds me so much of certain chicks I went to high school with that it’s almost tasty how enjoyable watching her fall to the level of mere mortals.

I also cannot STAND anyone who is well known for nothing more than a crap sex tape and her dubious “talents”. She illustrates for me everything that is wrong with celebrity culture.

And now she’s getting a little taste of the bad side of fame, and apparently, she doesn’t like it very much, going so far as to say:

“I must also say that I was shocked to see all of the attention devoted to the amount of time I would spend in jail for what I had done by the media, public and city officials,” Hilton said in the Saturday statement,”I would hope going forward that the public and the media will focus on more important things, like the men and women serving our country in Iraq, Afghanistan and other places around the world.”

I mean really. You spend all of your waking hours trying to drum up media attention while you wander around drunk, dance on tables and attempt to sing. And yet suddenly, you don’t understand why people are so curious! (Or more likely, so hateful)

That is why I find this entire thing amusing and fascinating. It’s the ultimate burnout of the ME ME ME! child. It’s that child finally realizing that yes, the rules DO apply to you. That no, you can’t do what you want. That other people actually do have a hand in your life.

To me, she’s a figurehead for that type of culture, the “you’re not the boss of me!” screaming little hordes. She has done nothing to deserve where she is or what she has. She just is. I’m nauseated at the thought that we live in a culture that reveres this as a godhood.

It’s not very big of me to feel this way, I know. But I have daughters. Daughters who will one day start paying attention to celebrities, start having crushes. I had HUGE crushed on Christian Slater, and later, Angelina Jolie. One ended up grabbing chick’s asses. One dedicated herself to helping the less fortunate.

Guess which one I’d prefer my daughters to look up to? I want my children to know that the world does not revolve around them, and that hard work is important. I want them to find role models in various places, and while I’m not wanting that to be celebrity, if it is, I’d at least like it to be someone who can see past the tip of her pointy little plastic nose.

Nine pounds o’crap.

10 Jun

I don’t know if you’ve heard, but Rebecca Eckler is suing Judd Apatow, claiming his movie, Knocked Up, rips off her book, “Knocked Up”.

I snorted when I read this. I can’t stand this woman, I honestly can’t. Going anywhere near her website gives me hives.

So reading this piece made me smile.

I mean really, does she think she’s the only person in the world to come up with a story line involving two people from opposite ends of the spectrum who get pregnant by accident? Oh wait, apparently, her story doesn’t work exactly like that. My bad.

If it was a word for word rip off (as it may be from Ms. Pearson’s piece) I understand being pissed off. If it was a really weird situation, I could understand. But this is a standard formula-loser boy, successful girl-comedy insues. This, at least to me, is nothing new. Especially in these days of navel gazing by mothers-I’m quite sure that this plot is played out across the internet almost daily, in one permutation or another.

Should everyone sue?

And sure the titles match-but it’s also a very common phrase for pregnancy that almost everyone has used at some point. Should we all be sued?

What say you? Are the movie-makers out of line, or is the author a little full of herself?

For Mogo, since it’s funny

9 May