Toy Review-A buzz, a poke and a shake.

7 Feb

It’s time for another sex toy review! Please, feel free to go do something else if you aren’t down with your bad self. 🙂 Like watch this again.

Today I’m reviewing Ophoria’s Finger Vibe, the Micro Saber G Vbrating Butt Plug and the Metallic Weighted Orgasm Balls, courtesy of Pink Cherry.

When I received the Finger Vibe I was super excited to try it. But then first, I was overly excited about the packaging. Simple! Not an overabundance of plastic! A little flap so I could open it without my teeth and a degree in engineering!

It’s a tiny little vibe, perfect for your pocket if you’re travelling. It uses 2 button batteries, which are included. You even get extras! It’s 100% silicone and the vibrating part is completely removable so you can boil it to sterilize it. What’s not to love?!

Sadly, for me, everything. Because my initial impression was so awesome, I really wanted to like this toy. I travel to see my boyfriend, so it’s nice to be able to take a small toy with me if I wish. But the power is just not there. Maybe for someone else it would work, but it was just not enough. It was like getting to the top of a mountain but not having enough energy to climb over the top.

This made me sad. I was also sad to discover after a few sessions of playing with it, the button to turn it on and off wasn’t quite as responsive as one would expect. The removable vibrator, while handy for cleaning, seems to mean that eventually it likes to stop during the action.

This made me really sad. I otherwise adore this toy, and would love to try other products by Ophoria since they seem to make a quality product. And this being so small and portable, I’m not surprised that it had it’s glitches.

On the other hand, I hated the Micro-Saber G pretty much right out of the box. I did not pay enough attention to the description that said “Jelly Rubber” I despise sex toys made out of jelly. They’re sticky, smelly and my hair? Does not mix well. And it’s creepy as shit when you get down to it. (Jelly also sucks because you cannot safely disinfect it, and they might contain phthalates, which are likely pretty fucking bad for you.)

And using something as a plug which doesn’t have anything tapered to hold it where it’s supposed to stay seems rather pointless. I tried it a few times, and pretty much sighed in distaste and whipped it across the room. Actually, first I took the vibrating bullet out. It is actually useful, a good powerful vibration, based on button batteries again. Thankfully this also had extras since the one set was already dead when I opened the box.

I had a sad. Honestly, if you’re looking to get into anal play, just ignore this toy. I really can’t recommend it on any level, and if you want a vibe, just get a pocket rocket. Granted, it was my own fault for grabbing one made of jelly but still. Seems pointless for what it’s made for.

Lastly, I tried out the Metallic Orgasm Balls (also known as Ben Wa balls.)

Now, maybe I’m odd, and maybe they just weren’t big enough, but aside from the giggling fun of trying to keep them in when we went to the store, I just didn’t get it. Once in, I didn’t notice unless I unclenched my muscles and they started moving. I found it rather stressful actually. Now, if you need help doing your kegels, these might actually be awesome for you since you’re continually holding in the vaginal muscles. But as a toy, I think the main pleasure was the amusement factor between my lover and I. I’d also think that if you’re someone who needs a little help getting going (and honestly, as I get older I get that sometimes) these would come in handy since, whether you like it or not, you’re totally focused on your lady parts.

I wanted to try some new things, and they just didn’t work for me. I did really love the Ophoria vibe for everything BUT the vibration, but again, since levels of vibration are a personal thing, you might adore it. Based on the presentation and packaging  I will absolutely be trying their products again. The other items? Not so much. I like my adult toys to be fun to play with, not just fun to think about.

Thanks again to PinkCherry.ca for the items for review. Valentine’s Day is coming up, and they ship fast! Go get yourselves a little something.

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