To Lube, Or Not to Lube-Review

29 Dec

Yet again, we’ve arrived at one of “those” posts. Here lies your escape valve.

For those of you along for the ride, we’re gonna talk about lube today. Yay!

When the wonderful contacted me about reviewing for them, I was excited-I had heard good things about this sex toy company, and was thrilled that they had a Canadian arm. After spending a long night perusing their website, which is comprehensive and totally freaking awesome, I decided I wanted to try a few lubes along with some toys.

I’m of a mind that anyone who enjoys sex, regardless of where tab A is inserted, should always have lube around somewhere. It just makes things better, like bacon. (Not that I want bacon lube-that might get weird) It’s just one of those things that makes a good thing better.

I have a personal favorite, which I can never freaking find, which is Liquid Silk. I haven’t had any in years, and would likely do many odd and possibly illegal things for a bottle of it. The name says it all. (And yes it’s on Amazon. And no, I do not have a credit card to order it.) It’s water based, won’t give you a case of the steaming itches, and doesn’t have glycerin in it, which I find kinda weird and gummy sometimes.

But since I can’t find it around here, I’ve branched out and tried others. Astroglide I found to be a little less glide than I expected, and then the bottle somehow sprung a leak. Since I wasn’t that impressed, I didn’t replace it. I’ve had a few encounters with flavoured/scented lubes, and the less said about those the better. (Besides, I get nervous with anything sugary around my lady parts, and don’t like cleaning it out of the crevices of sex toys either. It’s sticky, like orange juice. Gah.) Have tried KY. While I don’t hate it-it does the job, and works pretty damn well for fisting or extended play, I just don’t find it as sensual. Servicable.

Personally I’ve found Trojan’s Liquid Satin to be my favorite-works well for anal or vaginal play, is water soluble, doesn’t get all gummy or sticky, and doesn’t leave a mess anywhere. No real smell or taste, and is smooth. Honestly, the last thing you want is a lube that gums up the works, right? And it has the added benefit of being available in the grocery store, which frankly, when you have no car, makes life a LOT easier.

In light of my preferences, I thought I’d have Pink  help me out a bit and branch out to try some new lubes. So I requested to try two:

Doc Johnson’s Spike Ultimate Anal Lube, since there’s a lot of rear play some times and  Intimate Organics Defense Sea Kelp and Guava Bark Vegan Lube since I’ve heard a lot about vegan lubes and wanted to try.

(Yeah, I tried the hippy lube. Back off.)

Because I’m paranoid, I tried the Doc Johnson lube by myself. And I’m glad I did. Aside from the bottle, which is shaped like a bellow and has a “spike” for easier…application, I absolutely detest this lube. It STUNG. Things should not STING when you’re playing, unless it’s involving a flogger. It was sticky and heavy and not in the least bit enjoyable. TO be honest, it actually made the play difficult and painful to the point that I needed to stop. DO NOT WANT.

I’ve heard varying things about anal lubes, most of which has never been good-I’ve tried silicon based lubes which really make a difference, but this…this was terrible. Washing it off was a joy as well. Just…ick.

A week or so later, I tried the Vegan lube, again, by myself. And was pleasantly surprised by the lightness of the texture, how smooth it was, and how little I noticed it. Say what you will, but with many lubes, you notice it’s there, by stickiness, smell, something reminds you. But this lube just seemed to blend in, without giving me any kind of itch or weirdness to worry about. If you have a picky vagina, you’d likely really dig this lube-it’s paraben and glycerin free, perfectly safe to ingest and is easy to “reactivate” with a little water. And if you’re looking for something organic and vegan, this is perfect. I’ve been looking forward to playing with this one a little more.

I’m still looking forward to try a few others, and hopefully won’t run into any more that make me want to close my legs and keep them shut!  Lube is supposed to enhance, not terrify!

Please, go check out sex toys-their shipping was incredibly quick, the website easy to navigate, and the selection pretty freaking awesome. (And bless them, is in Canadian Dollars. being for all you Americans. It’s so NICE to shop in my own money!)

Products provided in exchange for honest review. Thanks Pink Cherry!


2 Responses to “To Lube, Or Not to Lube-Review”

  1. hodgepodgeandstrawberries December 31, 2010 at 10:40 am #

    Aaagghh, it STUNG?

    That’s horrible. Also, I should stop reading your review posts. I’m really hoping that the next time I see you IRL, I don’t immediately think “some lubes make your ass sting like fire”.

    Guess we’ll see. 😉

  2. Bill January 3, 2011 at 4:34 pm #

    I like the water based Boy Butter. Comes in a little tub, like margarine; it has a nice creaminess to it, isn’t sticky at all. Aside from being a bit cold, it’s perfect for any situation. And clean up’s a breeze, as they say.

    Just my two cents.

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