I talk all day long for a living.
It’s not a permanent situation by any means. But it’s the one that (sorta) pays the bills and allows me to eat right now. And frankly, I’m pretty good at it when I want to be. Or rather, when people are douchebags.
I’m the person at the end of the phone when you want to call and bitch about your bill. I’m the person you whine to when you think you pay too much, even with a discount. I’m the person you curse at when, like a pouting 12 year old, you’re angry because you didn’t get your way.
I know that my mother always warned me about people, but they just really do NOT get it. You catch more flies with sugar than shit. Period. Sure, I’m supposed to be all friendly and professional, but when the words “YOU PEOPLE” are muttered with contempt 30 times in 5 minutes, how do you think I feel? When you say the words like something you stepped it, and make it clear that you think I’m an idiot before I’ve said a word, how helpful do you think I might be? How helpful would YOU be?
When you say the services suck. When you complain you pay too much, despite being a short term customer who already has the best possible “sale”. When you are unwilling to pay more, yet want everything, your entitlement oozing from your tongue. When the word “LIKE” crosses your lips more than you breathe, and you expect me to roll over like your mother does every.single.day.
These things annoy me, and will basically prevent me from doing anything more than the bare minimum.
I’m not an asshole. I don’t go out of my way to not be helpful. When someone calls in and is polite and mentions a tight budget and have been a good customer for 20 years, I will bend like a pretzel to help. When you call in after years of never paying on time, and demand to know why, after being cut off for not paying for months, you can’t have your TV-I will at the very least mute while I snigger.
Entitlement will get you no where. Mentioning how important you are will get you nowhere. Screaming at me and using profanity will only amuse me. Being a general, snide arsehole will make me twitchy and get you nowhere.
I’m inherently a nice person. I want to help. I want to fix your problem-you are paying for something after all.
But I want something from you as well. I want you to step back and remember that I am just like you. Maybe a little lazier so I’m stuck in a shit job. I want you to realize that on the other end of the phone is an actual person. I know it isn’t in vogue to keep this in mind, to remember that just like everyone else, I have a job to do, and rules to follow and that I like feeding my children, and will not compromise that ability just so you can watch a little porn for free.
I want you to think how you’d feel if someone spoke to your child the way I’ve been spoken to. I want you to think about how insane you’d get if someone talked to your wife like that.
I want you to realize that despite the fact that you look down your nose at me, at my job and lack of education, you need me. You need the chick in tech support who will patiently explain that if the power is out, nothing works, least of all your internet. You need me to add that channel so you can watch the fucking Bachelor or whatever piece of crap you’re destroying brain cells with this year.
I want you to realize that someday, you could be me too. And you won’t like any of this either.