I try to never lie.
I mean, I’m sure I lie to my kids occasionally, telling them their mouths will swell shut if they keep talking at 4am, or I might shave 10 pounds from my weight to preserve my vanity. But the big stuff? Who I am, what I look like, what it means to be in this body-I don’t lie about that stuff. What’s the point? Eventually someone will find you out, and you lose the person, as well as, presumably, your self respect.
I had recently connected with someone through my blog, or so I thought. Conversations I’d look forward to on email, the kind you sometimes only have with new people. I thought I’d made a friend.
The odd comment would be weird, but then, I’m rapidly discovering that with most people, I’M the odd nut, so I chalked it up to the awkwardness of conversation, stilted through emails, and moved on. But then I asked for a picture. I’ve been talking, on and off, to this person for months, they’ve read the blog. My life is up here, in technicolor. Seemed only fair.
I received a picture obviously pulled from a catalogue, or an ad. When I questioned it, I was basically told I was broken, with the person immediately running offline. Which makes me then question if the pictures of their children weren’t stolen off someone’s blog or some other site as well, a life crafted as a lie to make me feel comfortable.
I really don’t understand-I don’t get the lying, I don’t get the falsehood. Nor will I put up with it. I’m cautious by nature anyway, but had thought I had found a friendship, as I have found with so many of you. But something…isn’t quite right. While the antennae for wrong was triggered awhile ago, I could never quite figure out why. I wonder if I know this person, in life.
Mostly I wonder why.
People mock me for my lack of faith in humanity. But generally speaking, humanity reinforces my cynicism with this type of behaviour. I wonder what a person gets out of this. I really do. But what is gained, in any case, aside from my anger and irritation?
So if anyone emails me, and I’m a complete snot-now you know why. People, you piss me off.