16 Aug

Originally uploaded by thordora

There’s just something about sisters.

I don’t really have one. I mean, I have one, technically, if blood is a technicality that counts. I know she’s around and she’s made it clear that I’m the bad guy and well, what can you do? I know who I look like and who looks like me and who matters. Who really matters.

But we aren’t sisters in the regular way. I look at my girls and I see this shared life they’re both attached to, fingers and hair wrapped around each other, inexorably part of each other’s lives. I see the way that they ebb and flow around each other, one’s whining voice cresting in the tired eyes being rubbed in another corner. I see the way they look at each other, with devotion, with love, and occasionally ire, and imagine 20 years from now, their lives full with each other, even while they bicker and they fight.

I’m asked often if they’re twins, as we walk down the road, as we wait in a line, and I smirk about Irish twins and hold my hands on their heads and let their warmth sink through my fingers like a hot potato on a winter night. They fill my days and heart, and their future fills my eyes.

Without me, they will be each other, a contained unit to lean against until the end of days. I step back to watch.


6 Responses to “Sister”

  1. Kay August 16, 2009 at 8:59 pm #

    Like you, I have a “technical” sister. But, like you… there’s just not that sisters bond that you wrote about.
    However, I’m blessed enough to have my sister in law, who, as far as I’m concerned, IS my sister.
    We often get the “are you twins?” comments, and will meet up only to find out that we wore the same outfit (down to the shoes and underwear). There’s no need for words half of the time… and that bond is probably the one I cherish most in my life.

  2. ifbyyes August 16, 2009 at 10:59 pm #

    I don’t have any siblings. I’ve always been sadly aware of the fact that when my parents pass on, there will be no one to share memories with me of my childhood. No one to say “remember when…” with, or to even grieve the loss of my parents with me. Oh, yes, my husband will comfort me, but it won’t be his grief the way that it is mine.

    Your daughters are very lucky.

  3. Jennifer August 17, 2009 at 7:59 am #

    I don’t have any siblings either, as you know, and am quite glad about it. One less person to have suffered at my parents hands.

    I see my girls, who are like blond versions of your girls and am really jealous that they have each other. That when glen and I are gone, maybe they will be close enough to hold onto each other.

    The only thing I’ll have when my parents go is regret and maybe relief.

  4. Hannah August 17, 2009 at 9:25 pm #

    I have two sisters. The one close to me in age is my best friend, my champion, the one who shares my sense of humour and my love of comfort food and my joy at reading much-loved Prachett books over and over again.

    She is my ally and I can’t imagine life without her.

    The bond between your girls will serve them well their whole lives. Enjoy watching it grow.

  5. thordora August 18, 2009 at 1:04 pm #

    I really want them to have that bond-the bond you talk of Hannah, and Kay, with your SIL. Shared memory and lives. I miss that I will never have that, that the only sibling I have either doesn’t remember since he’s so much older ot refuses to speak of it. When my father passes, the link will dissolve.

    I envy the girls this.

  6. kelly August 18, 2009 at 5:24 pm #

    OH, I envy them too. I wish I have always wished for a sister. I love my brother, but I imagine it is not the same.

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