Tinkle Tinkle Little Ros

3 May

So…those of you with a 4 year old, please, pay attention.

Our dear, sweet Rosalyn, she who has been potty trained for over a year now, seems to have some issues.

Namely, remembering to go poo when playing/reading/the least little bit distracted, and waking up to pee at night.

She’s even told me that she’s had dreams about peeing. Still doesn’t put it together.

I took her to the doctor, to check for infection, as it’s been getting worse. Nope, nothing.

If one of us wakes her up around midnight for a tinkle, we’re ok. Otherwise, I’m glad I left the plastic bag on the new mattress.

She’s not getting any sleep though. And she refuses to wear a pull up or anything that even remotely smells like a diaper.

Honestly, I don’t much care-I know that it’s likely as my father says-that she’s recently grown, and her bladder just didn’t get the memo. But the poor little thing is exhausted, and I know it’s not her fault. She just doesn’t wake up. (Frankly, she could sleep through a nuclear exchange)

So-my question is this-have any of you dealt with this type of bedwetting? Is there anything I can do that I’m not doing? I absolutely am not punishing her for any of it, aside from a stern reminder to listen to her butt while playing, and I know she’s not doing any of it to punish me. There’s been no major stressors in her life, and she’s the same happy little demon she’s always been. Neither side of the family has a history of this, so I’m a little lost.

So-advice? You has some? I wants some.

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21 Responses to “Tinkle Tinkle Little Ros”

  1. VHMPrincess May 3, 2009 at 6:43 pm #

    I always cut WAY back on the fluids – small drinks only at dinner and NOTHING after. (dinner is at 6:30 and bedtime is at 8)…that helps sometimes.

  2. Kris May 3, 2009 at 7:33 pm #

    I’m going to be watching your commentors, because I’m dealing with the same thing, same age. And I can’t handle the cries of I’m thirsty over and over, so I haven’t been able to cut out the drinking.

  3. Bon May 3, 2009 at 8:23 pm #

    also watching comments. O’s only recently trained, and days are okay but night, nope. which is all fine except i have zero clue how a child actually gets from nightime wetting to NOT wetting and figure advice can’t hurt.

    for what it’s worth, my lovely OB has a near 5 year old struggling with the same thing. so i got no real life help whatsoever. 🙂

  4. Jen May 3, 2009 at 8:29 pm #

    Chris gets Lucy up every night. She just doesn’t wake up when she has to go. Cut way back on the water before bed too, and for some reason it seems to be worse when she has milk with dinner.

  5. Hannah May 3, 2009 at 8:37 pm #

    I knew a kid (no, not me, really) who wet the bed fairly regularly until she was nine or ten. It’s why those “Goodnights” night diaper things are sized so big. Some kids bladders really just will not wake them out of a sound sleep in time.

    I’m afraid I have no sage advice to offer, other than that until Isaac got the hang of night dryness, I cut off liquids an hour before bedtime. He still has the odd accident, especially when he’s sick, but honestly he made the decision to not wear diapers at night anymore and then except for a few slipups he was fine.

    From everything I’ve read, bedwetting up to the age of six is not unusual – it’s just bloody frustrating because of the interrupted sleep and pissy sheets. If you can coax her into wearing goodnights or pullups it will save you the extra laundry; otherwise, just not making a big deal about it is probably the best thing you can do for now.

  6. Tawny May 3, 2009 at 9:04 pm #

    I’m delurking (came here through So Anyway months ago) because of what you said about Rosalyn and how sometimes she’d dream she was peeing. I used to have accidents like that – even when I got older, like my early teens and the same thing would happen to me – in my dream I’d stop at a public washroom and absolutely couldn’t tell it was real. You think it’s embarassing for a 4 year old to pee the bed? Try being 14 and sharing your room so when it happened, my older sister always new :).

    Sounds like Rosalyn might be a very vivid dreamer, which is not a terrible thing, but it will take some time for her to train herself to detect when she’s dreaming and when she needs to wake herself up.

  7. Sis B May 3, 2009 at 9:57 pm #

    My son is 6 and just beginning to be able to stay dry all night. For a while he wet his bed every night, but that didn’t even wake him up and we would find it in the morning. So every day we would take his sheets and wash them and talk about remembering to wake up. At some point I started putting towels down on the bed so it was easier to clean up, but around early 5 he was receptive to pull-ups. We talked about how it was “just in case”, so we wouldn’t have to wash everything if he had an accident. I showed him the big kids on the package so he knew they weren’t for babies. Then I put the package in his room so that he could choose whether or not to wear them. Told him to put them on like underwear and then take them off and put them in the trash in the morning. I think it was the independence and control I gave him over the whole thing that sold him on them. I told him that way he was the only one who knew if he wet the bed and not everybody in the house. He liked that. If she likes her panties, maybe she could wear them over the pull-up so she still feels like a big girl?

    In any event, it’s normal. I’ve never been able to cut off fluids, so I didn’t do that with him. And you’re doing the absolute right thing by not making a huge deal out of it. She’ll just outgrow it one day.

    They sell things like that alarm when a kid pees in the bed… and I just don’t agree with that.

    As for the daytime poo, remind her frequently to go potty. Even if you have to set a timer for yourself to remember, it would be good. Maybe if you are able to raise her daytime consciousness about her body, her nighttime awareness will get better, too. Good luck! 🙂

  8. Eden May 4, 2009 at 9:28 am #

    The only thing that’s worked w/ Zoe (and relapses usually occur along with something else, like when Hawk was hospitalized) has been to give her reward stickers for staying dry (and “a big black X on the calendar” for an accident). The more she thought about controlling it, the better she got at it. This is only after, like you, we’ve ruled out an infection.

  9. Jennifer May 4, 2009 at 9:38 am #

    The reward chart sounds like a plan, as well as cutting liquids several hours before bed.

    The other thing that you could do, is set an alarm to wake her up at 2am or so, and let her know that she has to pee then.

    I’m attempting to train the most stubborn child on the planet. My first, was a breeze. My second, not so much. For a good two weeks she was completely trained, then when the aunties came to visit in march, it went to hell.

  10. March May 4, 2009 at 9:44 am #

    no suggestions.. Morgan did not get out of pull-ups at night till she was 4. but popping out to say we’re sending good vibes your way so her bladder finally gets the memo.
    hang in there, it can be rather frustrating for her and for you guys. sending you big hugs.

  11. Helen May 4, 2009 at 10:51 am #

    First of all: I LOVE your title for this post. It’s hilarious.

    Second: why not reason with Ros? Say something like: “Mommy has been very patient with you about letting you sleep without a diaper. You have to prove to Mommy that you deserve it. If you can sleep tonight without wetting the bed, you can keep wearing your underwear. But if you wet your bed, we must put diapers on you.”

    You’re the one in control here. Don’t forget that. Also, you’re empowering Ros to take responsibility rather than taking the whole burden on your own shoulders.

  12. bromac May 4, 2009 at 11:50 am #

    I am having the same problem with my 3.5yo. When she is really exhausted or is growing, she pees at night. I think it is just that she is sleeping so much more soundly that she doesn’t wake up when her bladder is full. Recently she hasn’t even been waking up when wet and I find her stinking, wet, and cold in the morning.

    I put pull-ups on her when this starts. She will go for a week or so with accidents at night and then it will stop and she can go back to panties. I have diverted the issues of “mama, i’m not a baby” by just explaining to her that, no, she isn’t a baby but that right now she is having some accidents, and that is entirely normal and ok, but that we’re going to wear the pull-ups for a couple of days to help her get more sleep. She goes for it, with the constant reminders that she is a big girl and this is not anything to be ashamed of.

    She also has accidents when she is playing something she reallllly likes or is realllly fun and doesn’t want to stop, waits too long, and doesn’t make it to the bathroom. This is just try to stem by asking more frequently or making her go when some time has passed and I know that she recently drank a lot.

  13. thordora May 4, 2009 at 3:27 pm #

    We’ve tried pulling the water, tried with the pull ups, the speeches-I think she just really isn’t physically ready yet. I think. I hope.

    Might try the chart thing though. I know it’s perfectly normal to wet the bed for awhile yet, but still…

    thanks for the advice all. 😀

  14. theclevermom May 4, 2009 at 9:33 pm #

    Kieran is 6 and has been day trained since 3. We had a major regression that lasted 9 months (!) where he had a lot of trouble with poop. We did pullups/no name overnights for a while at night and then he went 6 mths with no accidents. Suddenly, another regression and he has been having an accident every night unless we do the following: limit after dinner liquids (on advice from a urologist), pee before bed, “pee break” sometime around midnight when I hit the hay – we wake him and go to the bathroom , also known as a pee party.

    We’ve haven’t found that pee breaks impact his sleep. He is used to the routine so he’s only half awake and is back asleep the second he’s back under the covers.

    For Kieran, it’s a combo of his bladder is a little too mature for full night dryness and that Kieran sleeps very heavily. Both are normal and more prominent in boys. But, again, totally normal for girls, too.

  15. patois May 4, 2009 at 11:12 pm #

    My eldest took a very long time to not have frequent accidents. It really was an issue of his body just not being mature enough. God knows, he was willing. We bought a mattress pad that’s about the third of a size of a sheet. It tucks in on either side, but not at the head and foot. It’s absorbent as hell. Saved us too many times to count. I’d say he didn’t have it fully under control until he was about twice your little one’s age. We never made a big deal about it. We recognized it wasn’t anything we could really “train” him or encourage him on to not do.

  16. landismom May 5, 2009 at 12:30 pm #

    Having gone through a very difficult time with poop & pee issues in my five-year-old this winter, I send you heartfelt hugs.

    We just wake the kid up every night around 11:30. If we wait much longer than that, he pees. He doesn’t wake up, even when he’s standing in front of the toilet. It’s not his fault–he’s a sound sleeper, and the noise of his bladder just doesn’t make it through to his brain.

    On the poop thing–I strongly recommend making her sit on the toilet after every dinner or breakfast, to re-train her. And that’s coming from someone who had to give her kid two enemas this year, a fate I would not wish on any other mother.

  17. dame May 5, 2009 at 7:57 pm #

    I went through this twice, both with girls; never with the boy, oddly. One thing I learned was that their exhaustion made it worse (docs will tell you this, too). They tend to sleep uneasily because they worry about wetting; so eventually they end up with little baby sleep disorders that make the wetting worse. One thing that helped my girls a lot was having the bed made twice (i’ll explain) and extra jammies on the nightstand. By making the bed twice, I mean that they would have the mattress pad and their sheet on the bed — on top of that would be a waterproof pad with yet another sheet on top of that. If they had an accident, the top sheet and waterproof pad were easily and quickly pulled off and went into a bin; the jammies were there to change right away (wet ones to the bin) and they were able to get back into bed and back into a cozy bed to sleep as quickly as possible; thus not disturbing their sleep too much. It’s a lot easier than having a big production during the night with changing sheets, cleaning the bed, or shifting them somewhere else to sleep (not to mention their potential embarrassment, crying, frustration, etc.). It helped my girls get through the stage sooner than later. Hope it helps, and good luck.

  18. Superla May 6, 2009 at 11:43 am #

    I don’t have much advice. I will come out and say that I wet the bed almost every night until I was…wait for it…13 years old. That’s two years after I hit puberty. Why, yes, it did suck. Mightily.

    Not saying that this is normal. However, I didn’t have any problems with my bladder or kidneys, and no diabetes or anything along those lines. I did have a few other parasomnias (sleep walking, night terrors, talking in my sleep), which I think were related. So maybe watch out for those, too, since they might be indicators that you’re in it for the long hall. I can’t back that up, of course. It was just my experience.

    Anyway, my advice: Get some plastic sheets. Place one over the mattress. Then make the bed with regular sheets. Then place another plastic sheet over those, and make the bed again. That way, if she wets during the night, you can just pull off the top layer and get her back to sleep more quickly.

  19. Superla May 6, 2009 at 11:45 am #

    And now I see that the previous commenter offered the same advice, so I have outed myself as a teenage bed-wetter for nothing. Curses!

    Also, that should be “long haul” not “long hall.” Christ.

  20. Sara May 6, 2009 at 2:39 pm #

    I think it’s somewhat normal. Kids bladders do funny things and they start sleeping very deeply.

    Maybe she’d tolerate a cute cloth pull-up better than the other ones? Just call it “thicker underwear to keep you comfortable at night”?

    Or maybe talk about how sometimes kids wet at night, and it’s perfectly normal and okay, and you know that she’s embarrassed, but that’s why pull-ups come in such big sizes. Just to help kids get through those difficult nights. Maybe tell her that there are even diapers for ADULTS that have the same experience, but that most kids grow out of it and that it’s nothing to be embarassed about? Give her a choice of the disposables or help her pick out a cute cloth pull-up. Tell her it’s just to keep her blankets and things dry so that she can get back to sleep more easily afterwards without having to change the whole bed?

    It’s gotta be rough being a little kid. So much is out of your control, even your own body!

  21. Bad Mummy May 31, 2009 at 12:01 pm #

    I use a cheap shower curtain liner to waterproof The Mook’s mattress. And when she wet the bed at night and I was not in the mood to have her in my bed, I would simply strip the bed, then give her a sleeping bag to sleep in.

    Also, I used to get The Mook to help with laundry. Not as a shame thing, but an understanding that she needed to pee before bed so that WE didn’t have to wash 3 sets of sheets on the weekend.

    I wonder if you could find some kick-ass cloth diaper that would do the work of a Pull-up but doesn’t look like a diaper…

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