New: Forums

13 Nov

Once upon a time, I started writing online, trying to put voice to the problems I was having, the thoughts that were eating me up, those things driving me mad.

For the most part, I’ve gotten through a few things. My anger and guilt at sudden motherhood. My struggles with PPD, and then bipolar, something that’s ongoing, and always will be to a degree. To a lesser extent, my experiences as an adoptee who has found her biological roots, as an abused child, and just those of life itself, this narcissistic exercise in caution we call blogging.

Somedays I delude myself into thinking that I’m helping someone, one here perhaps, another there. Perhaps I do.

But when I look at the comments for “I cannot handle being a mother anymore“, 185 responses later, and hear the voices yelling “hear hear!” and “please, help, I CAN’T do this anymore”, I know that some current has been touched, some raw nerve of blind anger, need and seething love.

When I read 118 comments to “Why do bipolar people push partners away”, and hear stories of people from both sides of the fence, the loved and the hated, the patient and the pitied, I realize I’m echoing the thoughts and fears of many, and perhaps becoming that place I couldn’t find when googling madly about my disease, looking for the words of people, not doctors or sympathetic therapists.

Maybe, just maybe. I’m reaching out into the dark and helping someone get their footing.

For awhile I’ve thought about doing what I’ve done-about opening forums connected to this site that we can use to pull some of these discussions into a live environment. Opening a place where perhaps a dialogue can be a little easier, where we can return to when we need.

If the need isn’t there, it’s easy to pull back and close it back off. But I want to at least try and leave the door open for people to find each other in the same place, a safe place.

So please, open the door, and say hello.

Spin Me I Pulsated

6 Responses to “New: Forums”

  1. sweetsalty kate November 13, 2008 at 10:34 pm #

    Thor, this is so totally amazing. I’m so happy that you’re doing this. So happy, so needed.

  2. dayatthebeach November 13, 2008 at 11:07 pm #

    Do it. Please. I have been reading your blog along with Kate’s for the last year or so. Seems like forever. And some of us CAN’T voice what we feel like the two of you do so eloquently. With such brutal, raw and painful honesty. And so much love. Through reading your posts, I’ve started to come to terms with my own depression and am beginning to realize that I’m not alone in this. When I have a rough day, I read back through your posts and it gets me through. I don’t post often because of a million different reasons. It’s so….exposed. I’m comfortable in my lurker-ness. But a forum would be so, so cool. There’s strength in numbers. And knowing that we’re not alone in this constant battle and reading other peoples stories helps more than you know.

  3. Kathryn November 14, 2008 at 10:09 am #

    You wrote: Once upon a time, I started writing online, trying to put voice to the problems I was having, the thoughts that were eating me up, those things driving me mad.

    I started my blog for the very same reason. It really was more for me to try and sort things out or use it as a means to find some meaning in what I was feeling. Or just get it all out so I don’t lose my mind.

    I actually found your post when I was looking for writings done by people re: being a motherless daughter. And I’ve been lurking in the background. So, keep on doing what you’re doing. I know that it has been of help to me.

  4. bromac November 14, 2008 at 1:40 pm #

    Fantastic! I am very excited!

  5. Amanda November 16, 2008 at 11:40 am #

    Hello, this was beautiful.

  6. carluew November 18, 2008 at 9:55 pm #

    I found something called a cpn number that will
    give you a new credit profile within 30 days.
    the website is

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