Oh the sheer joy that is an ER on a Saturday night.
- 30.00 on cabs. Sigh.
- 2 clicky-clacky sweet high heel girls, fresh from the bars and stinking to high heaven in their slutty 80’s fashions, giant sac purses and more hairspray than I’ve seen since 1987. You can cover a lot of things up, but ugly is still ugly.
- The larger(er), slightly trailer park slow couple next to me. The woman devoured 3 in short time, driving me absolutely BAT.SHIT.INSANE. but ripping off little pieces and them making this “smacksmacksmack” sound as she chewed with an open maw. This annoyance was tempered by the fact that my cell phone battery dying sound made them think their fully charged phones were broken somehow. (This isn’t fat hate. This is slobbish, no manners hate. And pants pulled up too high hate.)
- The poor 10 year old boy, rushed in by his father, arms wrapped tightly around his neck, moaning, nearly screaming when his father put him down. I can imagine why the mother didn’t take him in-I was nearly crying.
- The sheer number of people who sat behind me and thought that I was part of the chair. IF IT IS SQUISHY AND WARM AND MAKING MARGE SIMPSON SOUNDS, IT IS NOT THE CHAIR.
- And fucking hell people, quit smoking already! You reek! You’re horribly horribly ill, but you will drag your flannel pant clad ass back outside to suck back more stink.
- I’m beginning to think the wait is in place to deter people like the woman who came in with her (freaking adorable) daughter, saying to her husband that she “just wanted to check if she had a fever since they don’t own a thermometer.” Yes that is a quote verbatim. Yes, I bit my tongue.
- My most fun activity in the ER is waiting for the inevitable whining about the, you guessed it, wait. Sometimes I wonder if I’m the only person who understands what “triage” means. It’s horrible to have to wait behind people with broken limbs, possible life threatening issues, while you have the flu. I mean, it’s terrible. And Honey, if you really did wait 24 hours, you have a LOT more time on your hands than I do, and you’re supposed to get the hint. Anymore, my limit is around 4 hours when it’s not truly a dire emergency.
- Note to hospital-when you change your intake process, make it clearer. Every single person, myself included, got all messed up. Two small signs would have worked. It’s all fine and well to say you have to see the triage nurse before registering on the way in, but if no one understands your seating process, chaos ensues. Which is admittedly, fun to watch.
- And thank you for putting us in the Suture wound, where Vivian and I got to learn the difference between a necrotic wound and a sloughy wound. (Sloughy is nastier. They had pictures.)
We’re lucky-this is only her second ear infection, and it really wasn’t that bad. The horrid mother in me wondered if she was faking since she was acting FINE at the hospital-until it occurred to be that the Advil likely kicked in. While we waited around 3 hours, things went super fly once in the non-acute area and the doctor was totally awesome with both of us. 10 minutes later, we were out into the misty rain once more.
She was quite the trooper for it being nearly midnight. Evidently, I’m more tired than she is this morning too.
What’s your best ER story? Longest wait?