Ladytron-Destroy Everything You Touch
Who knew that strength was truly knowing when it’s ok to be weak?
I have trouble with this. I’ve always had trouble with this, with being weak in a safe, normal way, with just allowing myself the luxury of actually feeling things like I should. The safety of allowing stress to through and out of me, instead of circling in my belly for days, shrinking my waist but increasing my chances of ulcers. The safety to be upset and frustrated without it having some higher meaning or purpose behind it.
And where the hell did that come from anyway, my need to give everything meaning and reason? Sometimes we’re just annoyed and irritated and there’s no deep hidden secret behind it. Some things are just annoying, right?
I’m still so very confused over all of this, lacking a map, lacking even the knowledge that anything is working as it should, that I’m being successful. I’m overwhelmed and scared and I feel like I’m walking slowly, barefoot on glass. Tentative, and worrisome, everything in my life plates on sticks, spinning and spinning and spinning.
It will get better, as will, I assume, the headaches.