Soliciting Advice

27 Aug

So it has been pointed out to me that I need to get out of the house more, and possibly make some real friends. (Not that I don’t love y’all but you don’t live here DAMMIT.)

I find myself agreeing. I would have loved nothing more than to be hanging out with someone last night.

However-I have absolutely no idea how to make friends, and found nothing while searching aside from an Alex Coville exhibit out of town I want to beg my inlaws to take me to with the kids.

My need-tell me where to look for things to do that might involve meeting people? In this town, I’m rather crippled by the fact that I don’t have a car, and anything I’ve seen, so far, is just out of reach walking/bus wise.

Any thoughts? This was a lot easy when I was younger. πŸ˜› Lurking in the bookstore seems creepy.


16 Responses to “Soliciting Advice”

  1. daisybones August 27, 2008 at 10:45 am #

    I can only meet friends on the net…. OK, not REALLY, but yeah… my suggestions are tech inspired.

    +Search for peeps who geek out about the same stuff you do +create an OKCupid profile for friends only
    +troll local yahoo! groups of interest?
    +look at Facebook networks in area?

    and you can TOTALLY haunt the cool shops:)

    Laura started a Drinking Skeptically group in Pittsburgh… start a NB one & pimp it?

    Lovies, H

  2. daisybones August 27, 2008 at 10:46 am #

    PS mom support groups? If there are other cool moms in my neck of the woods there must be in your too:)

  3. Eden August 27, 2008 at 11:46 am #

    Do you knit? I know you crochet or used to anyway. Maybe a Stitch & Bitch would be a way. Or a writer’s group. I did an article about those at TC. B/c you could go into a writer’s group w/ some good stuff.

  4. karriew August 27, 2008 at 2:25 pm #

    Eden beat me to it. Or maybe some kind of crafty class?

    Many of my offline friends these days began online. I’m just lucky that several live around here.

  5. reb August 27, 2008 at 2:54 pm #

    I started going to the book group at my local bookshop. See if yours has one – its a good way to meet people who enjoy reading.

  6. Marcy August 27, 2008 at 3:23 pm #


    Just kidding.

    I was going to suggest a crochet group, too. And / or a mom’s group. Book club? Talk to other moms at the park?

  7. thordora August 27, 2008 at 3:36 pm #

    Believe me Marcy…that one occured to me but there’s that little conflict of interest thing… πŸ™‚

  8. Missy August 27, 2008 at 4:10 pm #

    If you tried that you might run into something like this–

    Man, if I only had a dime for every time a priest has chased me out of the building yelling, “Leave here you damn sinning dog of a whore!”

  9. Jupiter August 27, 2008 at 8:17 pm #

    All my current Real Life Friends….I met them on the internet. I totally suck at the social interaction thing. Especially playgroups. ALTHOUGH…I’ve started going to a knitting group (a Stitch-n-Bitch)on Tuesday nights, which is held in a bar, at the same time that Rock and Roll Trivia is going on. There is friendship potential with both little subgroups I’m thinking LOL

  10. mamatried August 27, 2008 at 9:29 pm #

    No advice but I am so with you on the friends dilemma. I really have tried to make friends IRL and I guess I have made a few connections but it is hard when I compare them to my ‘real friends’ who live on the west coast where I moved from 8 years ago. I feel like a loser that in 8 years living here I really only have a few casual friends. It is hard to invest all the energy you have to invest to have a friend when you have kids, husbands, job, etc. so I know part of it is my own fault but I also just haven’t really met any women that I click with either.

  11. sweetsalty kate August 27, 2008 at 11:06 pm #

    You know, locally I’ve met most of the women I know (not many, really) through things like playdates and hanging out at kid’s digging pit at the Farmer’s Market, scoping out the other moms. Seriously.

    (pssst… hey, hey you… you there in the green shirt. You look sane. And hey! You breathe oxgyen? ME TOO!!! Let’s be FRIENDS!)

    Sometimes it works, and sometimes not.. meaning that sometimes the only thing you have in common with someone is parenthood, which isn’t enough to sustain a friendship. But any casual friendships I have started that way.

    That said, my really close friends are either 1) living far away or 2) living far away and On The Internet…

    I think the suggestions of book clubs or bitch ‘n’ stitch nights are fantastic. These days I’m not too picky about female company, as long as wine is involved. It’s a start, anyway. πŸ™‚

  12. Marcy August 27, 2008 at 11:17 pm #

    Missy, thanks for the video link — that was awesome!

  13. Jen August 28, 2008 at 10:05 am #

    Or you could move to NY. Just sayin’.
    Anyone I’ve met is because Lucy is super-outgoing. I don’t have tons of adult interaction but she has made friends with a girl whose Mom has some similar interests so I know once a week I’ll get in-person conversation. Every little bit helps!

  14. radical mama August 28, 2008 at 12:51 pm #

    I second That’s how I intend to make friends when I start over in Chicago. I need a good feminist book club…

  15. thordora August 28, 2008 at 2:40 pm # has 3 things here, none of which apply. Now I guess I should figure out what to create….

  16. Gwen August 28, 2008 at 8:01 pm #

    Making friends, especially the older you get, is pretty hard. Maybe once school starts, you’ll find some simpatico parents? I’m always working on making friends, so I don’t have the good tips other people do.

    But good luck–I think friending is almost exactly like dating, except worse, because no one admits it’s like dating.

    That was encouraging, wasn’t it?

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