Monday night I tried to kill myself.
After starting yet another conversation I didn’t mean, one that looks to ruin my life utterly, I swallowed a bottle of Tylenol. Then realized what an utter fucking fool I am.
2 cups of charcoal, multiple violent vomitings, and 20 hours on a drip to save my liver and I know what matters in my life again, and how stupid and foolish I’ve been.
Trouble is, I think I’ve already pushed it away. Soon, I will have nothing, and what will be the point then?
See letter writers? I’m not smart or brave or any of that. I’m just a fucking moron who can’t get anything right, just a fucking idiot who breaks her own heart.
Sometime love just isn’t enough to deal with the fucking mess that I am.