The light today.

30 May

Late afternoon light, like honey.

We walk into the woods behind us, new green surrounding us, the slow hum of living engulfing our bodies-leaves unraveling, small creatures finding their legs, the undecided spring wind in the air between our ears. It smells warm, like yeast rising in a winter kitchen.

I am at home here. Memory incessantly tied to a glow I can’t quite catch, flickering between the trees and filling the air around us with gold.

We’re running, and laughing and something beside me sighs and says “Quite right, you’ve got it” and I feel peaceful and proper. I feel solid and absorbed into the moment and I see the glint of Vivian’s teeth and her hair sparkling in the light, kissed by the wind and know I will remember this forever-this soft, twinkling light in the woods will hold her steady in my mind for the rest of time.

That same nameless voice sat in our living room when I was a child, caressed us with warm arms as I wiled away the day with my mother, busy doing nothing much at all. That voice whispered “Hurry. Hurry!” when at 13 I rode my bike into it’s sunset, and felt an ache, a tightening. I could feel my legs sprout further, my breasts grow. That light guided my innocence, whatever was left of it, home to await another child. I felt it walking home newly married, excited to see my husband, excited for the newness, the potential of it all, my skin gilded in copper.

That warm dewy light might someday usher in the day one of my daughters becomes a woman, graduation, leaving home, marriage, my first grandchild. It will wrap all of those things in it’s fire maw, comforted and safe. It’s little voice saying “Hurry! You’re quite right here.” all the same.

 

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3 Responses to “The light today.”

  1. Erin May 30, 2008 at 8:40 pm #

    Nice, very nice, like that same homemade bread soft and warm in the mouth.

  2. March May 31, 2008 at 1:22 am #

    so beautiful…

  3. Marcy May 31, 2008 at 2:08 pm #

    It is good to feel grounded and centered and present — and okay.

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