Fuller

19 May

I am full up. Full up with wine and song and cookies and women and nods and smiles and silence and cacaphony and understanding and fear and warmth and pattern.

My brain stomach is full.

It will take a few days to process the most time I’m spent with women talking ever. Normally I run screaming from groups of women, but this was different.

Sure there are differences, in lifestyle, in temperment, in rules and decisions. We aren’t the same people. Some I’ve never known at all-and now, some seem like I’ve just always known them, and forgot.

Somehow, there was a featherbed comfort to that room, that slightly uncomfortable couch room with the old light switches, a weathered ease that made the silences not quite so empty, and my lust for a certain painting not so strong.

I await the pictures-double chin and pregnant looking belly and all. Being surrounded by actually talented photographers makes you secretly hope that someone caught the special you, the hidden you that’s drawn out in watery moonlight and muttered song. I want to see the me reflected when happy.

But I await the next time more than anything-the next time when we can laugh with memory, not just discovery, when Bon’s daughter is crying or giggling or gnawing on a knuckle in our arms. I await the future us.

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14 Responses to “Fuller”

  1. Hannah May 19, 2008 at 5:54 pm #

    And you, you darling, it was so wonderful to finally at long last put a voice and a laugh to your words… hey, everyone else out there, Thor has the BEST laugh you’ve ever heard.

    I’m struggling with my own post about the event… it’s already getting that blurry quality that dreams get on waking. I think you’ve summed it up brilliantly.

  2. Mad Hatter May 19, 2008 at 10:54 pm #

    I hope your homecoming was warm and welcome and everything a homecoming should be. It was a treat to meet you.

  3. Carin May 19, 2008 at 11:11 pm #

    I’m so happy. I was hoping it would go that well. I would think about you from time to time and hope that despite the probably crappy weather, you were having fun.

  4. Jenn May 20, 2008 at 6:26 am #

    I am glad you had a good time Thor. Its always nice when things like that turn out good.

  5. sweetsalty kate May 20, 2008 at 10:34 am #

    There was so much special-you to be caught… I was just so happy to be in your company. You are one mischievious soul.. I like that, as do the pendulums.

  6. Bon May 20, 2008 at 12:22 pm #

    oh sniff. god, i ache hoping for that future us. perhaps next year we can all wear our favourite garish floral patterns and give the Inn a run for its money.

    it was so comfortable, and so good. and i didn’t use my camera because one must always recognize when one is out of one’s league…but i saw that you. it was a privilege.

  7. bubandpie May 20, 2008 at 12:55 pm #

    Sniff is right. What a perfect description. (I’m glad I put my post up before I read it, because otherwise I’d have been tempted just to refer everybody here.)

  8. cinnamon gurl May 20, 2008 at 1:37 pm #

    Yes. My brain stomach is full too. So great to meet you!

  9. Rebecca May 20, 2008 at 6:08 pm #

    Lucky you guys….

  10. thordora May 20, 2008 at 6:59 pm #

    It was pretty fucking awesome…still trying to process.

  11. March May 21, 2008 at 6:41 am #

    so glad to hear that you guys had a great time!
    you all deserve it 🙂

    you just brought a big smile and good images reading this post.

  12. Erin May 21, 2008 at 10:16 pm #

    Your brain stomach…just this…
    good stuff…

  13. mercurial scribe May 22, 2008 at 6:11 am #

    Lovely description, all of it. Made me smile for a moment…

  14. Yolanda June 12, 2008 at 5:11 pm #

    i am so happy for you, and so jealous. is it the women or the fact that everyone KNEW everyone before they met? i read some of the women you met, and they are truly beautiful people. i’m totally jealous, and totally happy for you.

    i’m not close to many women, either. the ones i am close to are like sisters. i’m so happy you found these friendships.

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