“do people that are bipolar hang out together?”

26 Feb

Is this a trick question, along the lines of “do black people only hang out with black people”?

I don’t have a manic depressive quota to meet. In fact, in real life, I know one bipolar person. We hung out in high school, and I never knew that she was a nutter. She was fucked up, but I figured being a very out lesbian in a small town living with your ex-stepfather who snorts coke was enough to fuck anyone up. I miss her like a sister, but we never hung out because we recognized something in each other. We hung out because she had great taste in music and she loved my derby blue docs.

Finding out, all these years later, that we’re both manic depressive was kinda cool actually.

In my everyday life, I don’t know anyone. I know people online, but if the people I ran into in the psych ward are any indication, I don’t know if I want to hang out with anyone else that’s nutty for very long. I can’t imagine it’s a healthy way to live. My own bad ideas are toxic enough-having someone else along for the ride-that would end badly.

I like talking to others online who have this disease. It makes me feel less alone, allows me to find the answers I need sometimes. But on those days when we all need to pull away, I’d hate to imagine being stuck together as friends-over sensitive, possibly vengeful friends.

And really. It’s not a club. We don’t hang out together and trade tips on what to do when the lithium shits hit or what could possibly help bring you down from a nice session of hypo-mania. At least for me, this shit doesn’t happen.

And you know how groups of women tend to synchronize their periods? Imagine if that happened with a bunch of depressed bipolars. Man, we’d drop off like flies.

The entire idea just bothers me for some reason. And don’t bring up the goth thing-most goths I’ve known were disgustingly well adjusted, wallowing in “sorrow” like I’d go slumming in Regent Park. Listening to bad music doesn’t make you crazy. Just stupid. We aren’t squirrels or lemmings. We’re people. Just because I have bipolar doesn’t mean I want to hang out with other crazies. Just because I have a vagina doesn’t mean I like women.

We’re just people, just like you.

5 Responses to ““do people that are bipolar hang out together?””

  1. exactscience February 27, 2008 at 8:26 am #

    I know a lot of crazies. Two of my best friends are manic depressive, I know countless people who have had depression and few anorexics to boot.

    Way I see it, everyone is a little crazy somehow just happens that some of the people I know who are a little with the crazy have a definable set of mental nonsense.

    So long as the being mental isn’t why you are friends then you are fine, the crazy just adds another dimension. Besides that I find the “ill” people to be far more understanding about me having a wobble than others

  2. thordora February 27, 2008 at 8:50 am #

    I think what irritated me about the search was that it implied that we cling together-and for me, I just couldn’t. I rather nicely forgot the other bipolar I hung out with in high school who scared the crap out of me.

    I wonder if on some level, we are attracted to each other-fire attracting fire and stuff like that.

  3. radical mama February 27, 2008 at 11:36 am #

    You mean there isn’t a club, and you don’t seek out other people who are exactly like you? Huh… 😉

  4. bromac February 27, 2008 at 12:03 pm #

    It is an ignorant and ridiculous search.

    BUT, I will say that I have gained so much insight into myself and my disease by reading your blog, and other blogs which focus on bipolar. Those few blogs are the only bipolar community I’ve got, and it has been helpful.

    I think I would like to have a friend, in ‘real life’, that has bpII. Besides my therapist, no one in my life fully and truly understands how my brain works. It gets lonely sometimes…..

  5. DJTEEL September 14, 2008 at 2:38 pm #

    my best friend is my cousin who is bipolar.i also am bipolar.he and i have nearly identical tastes in music,movies etc,and even have matching beliefs regarding life in general.we both share so many of the bipolar traits(but being on meds and stable),we get along totally like two peas ina pod.

    we’ve been best friends for over 20 years now. one thing i noticed about myself however,that alot of people don’t seem to share. i prefer having one good or best friend over having a group of friends. i don’t know if that’s a common bipolar trait or not. i was diagnosed as bipolar so long ago that it’s my illness of choice.give me a menu.i’d rather be bipolar than have most of the other illnesses out there.i’ve been on meds and stable for so long that i don’t know what i’d be like if i were to go without them for a long time. my meds aren’t expensive(effexir) and i take trazodone to sleep.i’m disabled(unemployable due to the sleep disorder part of the illness. i’ve learned to live with it and actually enjoy being unemployed/. the hardest part to all of it is just trying to meet people like me.my cousin moved away about three months ago after he got married.i’m a laid back,non macho,shy soft spoken type of person and what i’ve been running into lately seems to be cocky and agressive people. cocky and aggressive imo is fake.most people i see that act like that aren’t being themselves.it seems almost like a cover they put on when they’re around people/. well..just thought i’d add my 2 cents here.i was searching for any kind of blog written by someone who was searching for friends as i am.i came across quite a few blogs and forum posts.let me add one last thingy here,in that i noticed that group sessions and forums and the like usually present good advice to people,but only one lacking piece of importance –that’s the advice of how to find a friend to hang with.there’s all kinds of online friends in these groups and forums online,but it’s distance relationships at best/. when searching for people like me within a short driving distance???nope!! no way! so forums and groups work good up to a point as a place to vent lonliness,etc..but not far enough unfortunately.

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