Bah Fricken Humbug.

19 Dec

I want to be jolly. I want to be happy and good.

Instead, I’m pissy and mean lately.

I have ZERO Christmas spirit this year, and I miss it. Maybe it’s the level of bah humbug around the house, my focus on making the girls happy, and everyone else. Maybe it’s the PMS talking, or my irritation with nearly falling down outside everytime I walk somewhere. I don’t know.

But Christmas is so depressing to me right now.

There. I said it. This entire holiday is depressing me. (Which might explain the asshatTery on the last post)

The two things I really want are drastically out of anyone’s price range. The things I really need, I don’t want to receive as gifts. I don’t even really feel a drive to want things this year. I just don’t care at all.

Wrapping presents hasn’t been fun. Decorating the tree-not fun. Shopping for the girls-not fun. I’m depressed because I should have a floating happy heart right now. But shit, I couldn’t even find a local production of Handel’s Messiah or The Nutcracker to take the girls to-how the hell can I find my Christmas spirit.

I had more joy for the season when I worked 60 hours a week in retail.

Anyone feeling it this year? Cause this sucks, and if I’m not alone, let me know.

grinch_santa.jpg

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18 Responses to “Bah Fricken Humbug.”

  1. bromac December 19, 2007 at 10:19 am #

    I’m not feeling it. Different reasons, though. I am so stressed out. Everything is catastrophized and I can’t stop gritting my teeth and crying.

  2. Mogo December 19, 2007 at 10:24 am #

    nope, you’re not alone. I’ve had about enough of it already. it feels like nothing more than an obligation this year.

    I’m sure watching the kids on the actual morning will take some of that away… but until then…

  3. thordora December 19, 2007 at 10:28 am #

    Dude, you NEVER have any to begin with….however, if your sister IS sending a Wii, the holidays might just get a little brighter…

  4. Nikita December 19, 2007 at 10:45 am #

    You’re totally not alone… I haven’t decorated my house for xmas this year. Normally I’ve started pestering my hubby to help me decorate November 1st. I’ve been listening to Christmas music and all it does is irritate me… another thing that is not normal for me.
    Of course it probably doesn’t help that I’m supposed to be 8 months pregnant right now and instead I’m not pregnant and I’m having to see and congratulate all my extended cirecle of friends/family/aquaintences who are preg or having babies…. doesn’t really put me into the spirit of the holidays.
    Okay, enough whining for me…
    You’re not alone… the holidays are just hard sometimes.

  5. Marcy December 19, 2007 at 10:49 am #

    I hereby declare that you are exempt from the holiday spirit law. You have my permission to be as cranky as you like without any guilt about what you SHOULD feel. Since when are there rules about what you should feel? I say, Christmas is about being who you are, freely, and sharing yourself with your family as you are and accepting them as they are. Enjoy.

  6. bine December 19, 2007 at 11:49 am #

    yeah … i lost my christmas spirit after my mom died. she was the baking and decorating queen and always got me into the mood somehow.
    now since i don’t have kids there’s nobody to make a fuss for. we’re generally happy if we can manage to cough up enough festive mood to get together a decent three course meal on christmas eve.

  7. Kathy December 19, 2007 at 11:49 am #

    I’m never really “feeling it” any year. It helps that my family and I don’t really exchange gifts. The only presents I have to buy are for, like, people’s kids or something. Nothing bank-breaking or too shopping intense. I have been to the mall, thinking Monday afternoon shopping wouldn’t be so crazy. Monday afternoon shopping the week before Christmas = crazy times 1000.

  8. slouching mom December 19, 2007 at 12:22 pm #

    funny. i’m feeling more drained by it this year than ever before. there is just so much to do, and it seems that the vast majority of the chores fall on me. why is that? what underlies the assumption that my husband doesn’t need to get involved in buying the kids’ presents, or wrapping them, or…?

    it’s tough too with jack’s birthday being exactly one week before xmas. i try so hard to make sure that he has a birthday uncompromised by the huge shadow of xmas.

    dunno. i’m exhausted, though.

    (sorry for the rant in your comments!)

  9. Kelly December 19, 2007 at 12:36 pm #

    What Slouching Mom said. I seem to have taken over the responsibility for my husband’s family, and I’m fairly certain this is why he married me. It’s easier to be in the holiday spirit when the work is divided, when there is someone to help purchase and wrap and figure everything out, lick the envelopes and place the stamps, roll and cut cookies.

    Time to put the foot down, I guess. Perhaps it’ll be a New Year’s resolution!

    I hope you find some spirit, though. I keep talking about eggnog, with a bit of nutmeg on top. Sometimes it’s just enough to re-infuse me with some jolliness. Also, Perry Como Christmas music. Sometimes I weep a little to O Holy Night. (Sigh…)

  10. Mad Hatter December 19, 2007 at 1:15 pm #

    Oh my. I am the opposite this year. My daughter gets to singing those carols and my heart is nothing but a puddle. Kelly: I LOVE PERRY COMO.

  11. Barb-humbug December 19, 2007 at 4:28 pm #

    Christmas has always been the most depressing time of the year for me. I always want it to be like a Folger’s T.V. commercial and that does not exist. It was easier when my kids were little and we had Santa Claus. I just tell myself it is just another day and keep it very low key. Just know that you are not alone and it is okay.

  12. cerebralmum December 19, 2007 at 5:37 pm #

    I’m definitely not feeling it either. Because we’re living with my sister, Christmas is on her terms, with her people. I’m looking forward to next year, when my bub and I can create our own Christmas in our own way. I haven’t even done the tree. Maybe I should take a note from Karen’s book and start with the carols.

    (By the way, does anyone think it’s rude when people know you don’t have a lot of money but have been saving for something really special for your child, and they go and buy gazillions of things for him so that it won’t even get noticed? Is that insensitive, or is it just me?)

  13. hills December 19, 2007 at 5:39 pm #

    You’re not alone. I have yet to find the Christmas spirit. Can’t actually be arsed to find it. Instead of getting caught up in all things Christmasy, I’m blowing this popsicle joint and heading to Vegas.

  14. Marcy December 20, 2007 at 11:13 am #

    cerebralmum, that would break my heart, too, but I’m not sure I could call it rude — they probably want the kid to be happy, and maybe even think they’re helping you. You could save your special gift for New Year’s…?

  15. thordora December 20, 2007 at 11:27 am #

    We were overwhelmed by gifts last year, so we let them open one a night from “the elves” so that the important things weren’t so overshadowed on the day.

    Or can you let him open his big one from you Xmas eve?

    They’re trying to spoil, but I’d be annoyed if it were me as well.

  16. jhianna December 20, 2007 at 4:09 pm #

    I’m right there with you this year. I have something in my head that won’t let me finish decorating the tree. Can’t be bothered to shop for Christmas gifts, and it’s like I can’t remember anything for more than 2 minutes unless I write it down.

    In a new (very bad) development, I’m now starting to ignore the written “reminders”. I’ll be lucky to get a meal on the table for Christmas dinner. *sigh*

  17. Nikita December 22, 2007 at 12:11 pm #

    I think I may have found the Christmas spirit… it’s out there… still trying to elude me… I think I just forgot what it really was…

    I think all the commercialism made me forget… the “I want!” and “I need!” and the “GimmyGimmies”. I had to step back from the stress and insanity and talk to a beautiful little old lady who was begging for money in one of the most overpriced neighbourhoods in the city to realize that I had missed the point.

    Christmas used to be about generosity and love of your fellow humans. I know I need to find my way back to that.

  18. Nat December 22, 2007 at 9:12 pm #

    DEFINITELY NOT ALONE.

    I’m so tired, a part of me just wants the holidays to be over….

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