Manic Monday

5 Nov

Every cell in my body is twitching, and in my minds eye it glimmers and shimmers like stars, on fire, dancing. I am shaking, and looking at my hands like they don’t belong to me. My back aches like I’ve taken too many drugs, and my muscles are tensed as if waiting to make an escape of some sort.

I’m so manic I feel like I could just float away, run off and go for days on my own speed, propelled by this wordless desire to run, run anywhere.

I’m so bitchy I could start a fight with anyone right now. The woman ahead of me fixing her coffee, the guy taping his leg on the bus as we wait at a light. Anyone-anything could set me off, and off I’d go into the sky.

My arms tense now, waiting.

Please make this go away.

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2 Responses to “Manic Monday”

  1. sweetsalty kate November 5, 2007 at 10:51 am #

    I hope you find something to hang onto through this, something to keep you safely tethered.

    Until you do, use us, this space. We’re steady, and listening, and thinking of you.

  2. Mary Joan Koch November 5, 2007 at 11:34 am #

    I have been there. Sometimes absurd things help like putting all my books in alphabetical order. Once I rather absurdly decided that only books by women should be in my bedroom. Tragically, I have to avoid the people I love so I don’t hurt them. Going to Manhattan and talkng to strangers is better.

    Writing helped most of all. Thank you for commenting on my blog; otherwise I wouldn’t have discovered your blog.

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