14 Oct

“….I’m gonna be a spider what are you gonna be? Rozie is gonna be a kitty meow! Isabelle came over when I was sleeping so she came back later but her brother had broken his armOW! and we played and it was fun-what’s your favorite color? I love pink. What color is your house? Mine is red. I love dinosaurs ROWR! Are you going to see the bee movie?….

The past two days have been held in thrall to Vivian, she who never ceases speaking in public. 4 straight hours yesterday-4 continuous hours of talking about absolutely nothing aside from what a 4 year old wants to talk about.

Indulgent looks from the older women are counted from looks from other mother’s who are obviously thinking I’m not doing something right. But I count on the older mother’s advice and wisdom in these cases. Today, an older lady smiled and corrected the girl who said “My someone is spoiled!”

“Nah,” she said, “She’s just smart, and that’s never a bad thing.” She looked and smiled at me, restoring my faith in my daughter, she who I continually apologize for. And for what? Because she is curious and friendly, happy to spread her love to all she meets? Because I feel that she is disturbing someone with her incessant chatter and lust to know?

So many girls and women grow up never questioning anything-they don’t watch or read the news, the don’t learn of history or science or of things that take real thought. So many women never learn how to meet others half way, never learn to understand other people, their quirks. My child is curious about her world-is anxious to learn what works. My daughter wants to know. Why should I apologize for that anyway?

7 Responses to “Chatter”

  1. Kimberly October 14, 2007 at 6:33 pm #

    Spoiled? WTF? Irritating, I’d give you. Because Diva Girl does that too–still, at 8, she does that–and honestly after about 20 minutes of random tween inanity, REPETITIVE random tween inanity, even, I want to claw my face off.

    You shouldn’t apologize for her. But maybe some work on listening as part of being a good conversationalist?

  2. Mogo October 14, 2007 at 8:13 pm #

    well let’s face it, she IS a bit spoiled… not that I think that has anything to do with this.

    I am constantly amazed by her ability to rally kids twice her age around her and the joy she seems to spread… I mean, seriously: she had a group of five 8 year olds who she knows at the one park telling me yesterday that they were so glad she came… she knows how to have fun, knows how to engage people – things neither of US are overly adept at – so no way am I going to discourage any of it.

    if she was a boy, these other mothers who give you critical looks probably wouldn’t even be questioning the behavior – I think that’s the part that pisses me off the most with other people’s reactions to it.

    don’t get me wrong, I enjoy any break I can get from the chatter. but I’ll never discourage it.

    and honestly, she actually is a pretty good listener MOST of the time – she just doesn’t waste any time responding to what people tell her πŸ˜‰

  3. Hannah October 15, 2007 at 8:24 am #

    Mine talks incessantly from morning until night. Sometimes, he even talks in his sleep. And most of it’s pretty repetitive, which drives me bonkers. We’re working on the concept of taking turns to talk. Sometimes when he feels he hasn’t had a turn in a reasonable amount of time, he interrupts to tell me he’s sad, because he wants to talk now. I mention this only because it IS a double standard. He yaks incessantly to anyone who will listen and no one has ever said he was spoiled. You tell Vivian to sing out proudly. She’ll thank you for it someday.

  4. Mrs. Chicken October 15, 2007 at 8:58 am #

    My girl is like this, too, an you’re right – why do I apologize on her behalf? Thank you for this!

  5. radical mama October 15, 2007 at 9:41 am #

    You shouldn’t. You and Mogo are right- she’s curious and intelligent. At 4, she does think the world revolves around her. But you won’t be dealing with this forever. A was the same way, but now at 6yo, she’s quieter, more self-concious. I miss her chattering.

  6. bine October 15, 2007 at 3:05 pm #

    i absolutely agree. she’s a bright and curious kid and she wants to connect with that fascinating world around her.
    and yes, i think mogo and hannah are right, too. if she was a boy her behaviour would be questioned less. on the other hand, a quiet girl is regarded as well-behaved and cute, while the very quiet 6 year old son of one of my friends is regarded suspiciously if he might not be a little simple-minded. argh.

  7. mercurial scribe October 16, 2007 at 1:51 pm #

    My Mom says I was just like Vivien as a kid… “always talking, talking, talking” my Mom says. Alas, I think I turned out okay. πŸ™‚

    Here’s to curiosity… I hope my kid is just as outgoing and engaging.

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