Goodbye Twenties

24 Sep

Today is officially the last day of my twenties.

I’m not upset. I’m not weepy and morose, depressed or sad. It is what it is.

The past ten years have been almost like another life. I’ve grown, I’ve changed, I’ve moved and moved, to another province. Had children, been diagnosed as teh crazy. I’ve found my heart and lost it many times.

I’ve grown. That’s the important part.

I don’t fear the number. It’s yet another number, numbers which climb until they don’t, at which point I won’t really care much. But in a way I mourn what I’m leaving behind-the newness, the changes, the feeling that life is still ahead. And yes, there is still much more life to be lived, but it’s not the same. The feeling of wide open spaces you have as a 23 year old with wild eyes is not the same as the one you have at 30. Life weighs you down with responsibility, duty and kindness.

I don’t have anything profound to say about turning 30, and perhaps that’s what is bothering me so much today. I can feel the kink in the air, the change in the wind. I can sense that my thirties will be comfortable and worn, like old jeans, and that I will be much more at ease. I’m not apprehensive, but I feel like waving backwards to a life so different than the one I have now. I feel that now, I can really qualify as an adult, or something that looks similar to one.

30. Huh….

So, without further ado….

Goodnight twenties.

Goodnight all nighters.

Goodnight new babies.

Goodnight smokes.

Goodnight naive posturing.

Goodnight books I only read to look smart.

Goodnight my twenties.


5 Responses to “Goodbye Twenties”

  1. bine September 24, 2007 at 9:20 am #

    oh sweetheart.
    no use telling you the thirties are nice. i think i kind of started over when i turned 35. got a big kick with a new partner and losing my main income. started doing stuff for myself i actually liked. i’m doing more all nighters now than in my twenties, and i’m turning forty next year.
    of course it’s easier if you don’t have kids – but just think what a rocking mommy you can be when your girls are teens.
    i feel you – as i’ve often written before – about the sad loss of the newness, the crispness to all things. but we’ve lived through it, savored it, and now face a new phase. being more at ease is a priceless gift, too.
    i guess now i really get my ass moving and write that pulsate entry. i’ve been dodging that.

  2. radical mama September 24, 2007 at 11:03 am #

    “Goodnight books I only read to look smart.”

    So some good comes of being 30. 🙂

    Happy last day of your 20s, babe.

  3. Stu Mark September 24, 2007 at 11:22 am #

    I’m 40, and I’ll say the same thing that other’s told me when I was in my twenties:

    “Your twenties suck. Period. But when you hit Thirty, it’s like you swallowed a magic pill, because suddenly all the tumblers fall into place and your life becomes wonderful.”

    Having said that, let me add that the above was completely true for me. It might be true for you.

  4. Cori September 24, 2007 at 4:50 pm #

    Happy last day of your 20’s!!!! I hope your 30’s bring you happiness, peace, and continued brilliance. Enjoy.

  5. Mad Hatter September 24, 2007 at 8:50 pm #

    I said it to Sage and Tulip and now you: the 30s really are the best decade of life. Really. Happy Birthday.

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