Wonder why I’ve thrown away my “feminist” label?

7 Sep

Go read this thread. There’s nothing like a good “breastfeeding women are gross and icky” argument to really make a woman feel valued and accepted.

Why is it that children seem to null and void a person’s feminism? Why do our issues as mother’s seem to have no bearing on women’s rights? Why is it ok to disregard THE LAW because it’s “only” breastfeeding.

I’m so annoyed and angry I could spit.

14 Responses to “Wonder why I’ve thrown away my “feminist” label?”

  1. nell September 7, 2007 at 7:21 pm #

    Wow. I’m commenting over here because, well, I like you, and also because, seriously? Those people are nuts! Nursing a 7 month old is icky? What? 7 months is still baby-baby. That’s crazy. But here’s what I think, I think I can still be a feminist if I want to (and so can you) because it’s those people who have screwed up what it means.

    To me being a feminist means supporting women’s rights to make their own choices, regardless of what those may be. As far as I’m concerned, people who find breastfeeding a 7 month old in public gross (and mouth off about it) are unqualified to discuss women’s choices. Why do “feminists” get so caught up is what is and is not a feminist issue? Why can’t we be freaking inclusive and get on with it already?

    I could go on, but it’s your blog, not mine, so I’ll stop. But yeah, that thread made me mad too.

  2. jen September 7, 2007 at 7:46 pm #

    honestly, this bores me (not you, but this debate) i mean, good god, who gives a flying f*ck already.

    breastfeed. don’t breastfeed. procreate. don’t procreate. stay at home, do not stay at home.

    choose your path and shut up about everyone else.

    (not you, love) THEM.

  3. thordora September 7, 2007 at 8:44 pm #

    The debate bores me, but also scares me, since these are mostly young people arguing. I’m saddened that this is as far as it comes. And that the argument isn’t rejected out of hand as it should be. Even when I was childless, with no intention to breed, I was never that foul.

  4. Mogo September 7, 2007 at 8:50 pm #

    well, speaking from a perhaps-slightly-non-feminist perspective, I wholly support public breastfeeding – I’ll gladly accept any and all publicly-exposed titty I can set my eyes on, TYVM 😛

  5. ann adams September 7, 2007 at 10:21 pm #

    Here we go again!!

    Why do people have a problem with a woman feeding a child?

  6. daisybones September 7, 2007 at 10:51 pm #

    Oh, oh, gods. I have to do some deep breathing and I can’t read any further than the first three comments or I’ll start screaming.

    The insane person who thinks seven months is too long to nurse… oh, I’m getting dizzy from the rage I get when I encounter nauseating ignorance. Oh. Arggh. Eeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrgh.

    You make a sadly luvid point about the term feminism. I maintain my affection for the word, but oh, Goddess/FSM/Chaos/Universe help these idiots.

  7. Caitlin September 8, 2007 at 1:13 am #

    The only nursing moms who I tend to notice are usually the newbies or the ones who don’t want any confrontation. I tend to notice them because their baby is fussing while they’re awkwardly trying to shrink into the corner, and get their nursing cover while fumbling with trying to get a breast free and get the baby positioned as they’re apologizing to whoever happens to be nearby.

    I have a hard time with the feminist label. It’s not so much about choice anymore. If you deviate from whatever the current feminist ideals are, clearly you weren’t able to make an informed decision, so yours doesn’t count AND you’re guilty of sending feminism back to the 50s.

  8. charlotteotter September 8, 2007 at 1:21 am #

    There are days when I wish I didn’t live in Germany and then days when I’m extremely grateful. This is one of the latter. I fed my baby up to ten months old at playgrounds, restaurants, on public benches and never once experienced any negative reaction. There was no debate, there was no issue, and it continues to be so for all nursing mothers. Baby needs to be fed, so feed him or her. And that’s how it should be in North America too. This anxiety around the naked breast is hard to understand from a European perspective.

  9. thordora September 8, 2007 at 8:07 am #

    It’s hard for many of us to understand, even living here. We can see Britney’s croctch, but a sliver of boob is unacceptable?


  10. Mad Hatter September 8, 2007 at 10:36 pm #

    You know, those comments made me feel as if I was listening in at the high school cafeteria. They simply made me feel old. I wonder how some of those women will think in a few years? The sad thing is, breastfeeding rates in North America are so low and breastfeeding can be pretty damn difficult for some women. These attitudes certainly don’t help.

  11. thordora September 8, 2007 at 11:06 pm #

    Yeah, I felt really old reading that. And curious how it’s not interpreted as woman hating. So childish.So much a waste of time.

  12. Mad Hatter September 9, 2007 at 11:35 pm #

    Ah yes, but sometimes it seems to me that young feminists can be all “sisterhood rules! and we are so totally anti woman hating” while still being painfully pro mother hating. Mother fear/mother hate is its own breed in this here misogynist culture we’ve been stuck with. Damn.

  13. bine September 10, 2007 at 3:32 am #

    those women call themselves feminists? i don’t get it. i never understood this mad prudery in the states – you can walk in miniskirts that show half your butt and crotch, but you can’t feed a baby in public? jeez.

  14. thordora September 10, 2007 at 8:00 am #

    I think more than anything, this makes me want to find a new movement that really does include all forms of what a woman can be. I see a breastfeeding woman (if I happen to even notice) and I get all warm and fuzzy.

    I don’t want a sisterhood is all it does is celebrate the maiden, and not the mother. I flat out refuse it. I have made a choice to be a mother, as some have made a choice to not be a mother. How my choices are any less valid than theirs is beyond me.

    And why mothers with children become second class citizens I’ll never understand.

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