I know…

1 Aug

I know it’s summer, and we’re busy and people read feeds and I shouldn’t take it personal but…

I kinda do. When I see traffic trending down through the last month, while I still do my damnedest to put up something worth looking at I wonder-what am I not doing?

Is it too depressing? Too heavy? Too Boring? Do you feel like you have nothing to add, that I’ll rip your head off?

While I do write for me, I also like the interaction of an audience. That’s why this isn’t a private journal. But anymore, I wonder why I can’t draw much conversation. Is it because I defended giving my daughter a smack in the mouth? Is it because i try so hard to define my illness that it might alienate those parents who aren’t ill?

Or are you just actually  busy?

I’m not taking it real personal-I’m just at the point where I don’t want to suck on ass to gain readers, but I don’t want to be writing into the ether either.

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30 Responses to “I know…”

  1. marcelarhodus August 1, 2007 at 4:48 pm #

    I don’t think at all that your posts are too depressing, heavy or anything of the sort… sometimes they are so well written and so to the point that at least to me it leaves me in awe as they touch a very deep place in me. I cannot say that I’ve been to the same places you have, but I can tell you that I’ve been very close and reading so much of your work I feel moved to the core, and speechless. You are a wonderful writer.

  2. landismom August 1, 2007 at 4:54 pm #

    I’m feeling the same way. My traffic has dropped in half in the last month, and I don’t feel like my posted content has been sucky or anything. I think the summer is a slower bloggy time–and I know that, to get through my huge backlog of blogs after our vacation, I went through most things on the feed reader. I’m sure other people are doing that too, and it will come back to normal in a few weeks when the school year starts again.

  3. Suburban Mum August 1, 2007 at 5:52 pm #

    I have to admit to not commenting much, mainly because I usually think I have nothing worthy to contribute 😦 I love the way you write. Don’t stop.

  4. Netter August 1, 2007 at 6:13 pm #

    I read every post, I just don’t always have the words to comment. I’m sure a lot of people are on vacation, though. All unplugged and whatnot.

  5. Jen August 1, 2007 at 6:15 pm #

    I’ve just been hibernating. Still reading, although mostly via feed. I haven’t been commenting anywhere because I can barely finish a sentence anymore without trailing off into space. In fact, I rarely click over when I can’t formulate a comment because I don’t want to seem like I don’t care (I pay too much attention to my traffic and hate when I see the same IPs come up and there’s nary a comment for exactly the reasons you’ve written about.)

    I’m really thankful that you’ve written so candidly about your illness–it’s awkward for me to say anything because I don’t know if it was BPD that was wrong with my father, but it has helped me to kind of see him from another perspective which brings me as close to peace as I think I’ll get.

  6. tulip August 1, 2007 at 6:24 pm #

    I’m like Jen. Hibernating. I am also a bi-polar mom and I LOVE to read and empathize with your words. I’ve been ill and “retreating” lately. I go through these periods where it takes all my effort just to function and I hate the interacting. No phone calls, no talking to anyone really. Sadly that includes the commenting. I’m still here and loving reading you. 🙂
    I’ll try to comment more!

  7. Nat August 1, 2007 at 7:40 pm #

    Ironically, my blog traffic increased, somehow. Yet my entries decreased. I don’t get it. (Considering I’m a chaotic mess)

    I pop by your blog all the time, but don’t comment much. I’m at a loss for words lately. About… pretty much everything under the sun. But I’m here. Lurking. :p

  8. dragon August 1, 2007 at 7:40 pm #

    Don’t stop! I read you every day. I just don’t know what to say to many of the things you write. I feel as if any reply I make will sound silly and contrite compared to what others have said.

  9. sweetsalty kate August 1, 2007 at 9:05 pm #

    I was going to click away thinking “everyone else has already said it…” but then figured the whole point is just to SAY, so:

    Agree with dragon’s point – sometimes I resist commenting also because of a fear of sounding trite or simplifying something I don’t intimately understand.

    But then.. other times I don’t resist, and sometimes I’m sheepish about that too :::

  10. LGirl August 1, 2007 at 9:57 pm #

    It’s the heat! the beach and yard work!!! just you wait until Sept when it cools off and the kidlets are back in school! Better have some good stuff for us then!!!!!

  11. ann adams August 1, 2007 at 10:46 pm #

    I read every post; sometimes a day late but I get here.

    So often though, I can’t think of anything encouraging to say except Hi, I’m here.

    So

    Hi, I’m here.

  12. Frisky August 1, 2007 at 11:38 pm #

    I don’t understand this feeding thing, so I just open up all the blogs I read in tabs. I would say I check on yours about twice a day. Despite work, I still have too much time on my hands. I am, however, a lurker and not too good with the comments!

  13. jen August 1, 2007 at 11:51 pm #

    i just set up google reader and now i can actually see when folks are posting new stuff. that’s helping.

    and i think people are out, on vacation, on their porches. it’s warm. but still, yes…it’s nice to know folks are listening.

  14. alimum August 2, 2007 at 12:09 am #

    I have been on some sort of mental vacation for the last couple of months…I try to write, I can’t, I get cranky, I don’t feel I have anything to contribute, I turn off the computer…

  15. Deb August 2, 2007 at 7:21 am #

    I love your blog! Keep writing dont stop! SMOOCH!

  16. Bromac August 2, 2007 at 8:03 am #

    I still read but I just lurk now. I have different comments about your illness than most do so I just figured I would keep them to myself. The others’ comments seem to help you more. But I keep up with you.

  17. thordora August 2, 2007 at 8:50 am #

    Secretly I just wanted an ego boost. 🙂

    And I know everyone is busy and sweaty (at least in the east) and I also know that sometimes it’s likely that people aren’t commenting because it’s so big-like on Kate’s site (sweet/salty) I have to force myself to comment because I want her to know I’m there, but I don’t have the same experience of loss as she does. I can relate, but only so far, and I don’t want to trivialize her loss of her sweet son.

    I’m just as bad, really. Everyone should have a “love me!” day this week so we know who’s awake and who is sleeping in the back of the room. 😛

  18. thordora August 2, 2007 at 8:51 am #

    The other thing is that I don’t think traffic really is down-I know I had MANY people using feeds, but my feedburner is jacked up (which I assume has something to do with why my post go into your feeds multiple times) and it’s not reading accurately. Any suggestions on that?

  19. Marcy August 2, 2007 at 8:55 am #

    From one narcissist to another — yup, I’m reading and appreciating even if I don’t always say so.

  20. thordora August 2, 2007 at 9:02 am #

    and Bromac, please-I want your opinions-I don’t want everyone to toe the party line-I want the hear what you have to say. Please don’t feel like you need to censor.

  21. charlotteotter August 2, 2007 at 9:16 am #

    I love how you write, Thodora, and I read every post, but I somehow feel I am unqualified to comment because I have not had the experiences you have had, with grief and sadness and illness. I want to say something, but I am anxious about hitting the right note. I suppose I should just say, “I hear you”, because that’s what I’m doing every time you post, is hearing you.

    I admire you. I admire your brutal honesty, your courage and the wonderful way you write.

  22. feartheseeds August 2, 2007 at 9:49 am #

    If you think having your hits decrease is a problem — and it is — try having specific posts from your blog discussed in a forum you can see, but not take part in. Over the past week I’ve had a bunch of low functioning soft brained spoiled teenage brats calling one of my Salted Lithium posts “bullshit” and “a shit load of shit” as if those ripostes and the associated emoticons were the height of wit.

    Have you thought about joining one of the Canadian Blogging Associations? I’ve hooked up with three that have driven some traffic to my sites I normally wouldn’t have had…

    Progressive Bloggers
    progressivebloggers.ca/

    Blogging Canadians
    bloggingcanadians.ca/

    The Blogging Alliance of Non-Partisan Canadians
    nonpartisans.ca/

    I think your blog would fit in perfectly.

  23. missy August 2, 2007 at 11:25 am #

    Thor, your writing is pretty awesome. I may not always comment, but I do always read. I was about to leave you a comment to that effect last night when two of my sils walked in the door and literally dragged me away from the computer out to some winona concert (actually it was a great concert, even though I’m not a country music fan–what a set of pipes that chick has).

  24. nell August 3, 2007 at 7:44 am #

    I swear to God if my life doesn’t calm down in August my head will explode. Yes, I have really been that busy. But I’m still here, don’t worry.

  25. thordora August 3, 2007 at 2:53 pm #

    See-I’m really just a brat who wants to be validated. 🙂

    Our life is calm. But sweaty. Very Very Sweaty.

  26. daisybones August 4, 2007 at 12:58 pm #

    I’m working like mad to dig my house out of chaos and have been actually working at work some- novel idea;)

    I’m here, I’m reading feeds.

    *hug*

  27. Kim August 4, 2007 at 5:43 pm #

    i almost never get comments on my blog. i’ve had about 4 since inception. i don’t know how to get them (or readers) other than to comment on other blogs (which i rarely do). i usually don’t have much to add.

    blogging is strange. a journal, yes. and public. why? to document life as a mother better than i would in the privacy of a little book, i guess. i never wanted for comments in the beginning… but when i see so many blogs with 10, 30, 50 comments per post, i can’t help but think… what about me?!

  28. bine August 5, 2007 at 12:07 pm #

    just returned from a five day trip to belgium (with the sunburn of my life) and have a lot to catch up with.

    i think it’s strange how when i comment on other people’s blogs many people come over and read my posts, but no one ever comments except for a handful of you guys. well, i don’t write every day either, so i don’t have regular visitors. i’m kind of obsessed with my blog stats, too, and i never understand why on some days there are four clicks per day, on other days its forty. some days i feel a lot like i’m talking to myself.

    well, anyway, i always love to read your blog and i feel inspired to comment quite often. still happy i found you.

  29. misspudding August 7, 2007 at 2:08 am #

    Hey, I am really fucking busy and I do use a reader.

    But yes, I do read your posts. I don’t comment on all of them but I do read them all.

    SO THERE!

    (Now stop complaining.)

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. If Building A Community Were A Chinese Buffet These Blogs Would Be The Pieces Of General Tao’s Chicken On My Steamed Rice « …salted lithium. - December 11, 2008

    […] from “Spin Me I Pulsate” recently posted about a drop in her blog stats. It was the responses, or some of them, that originally made me think about doing […]

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