27 Jul

I think I’m melting.

For realz. This is sucky. Yesterday it was 40C with the humidex, and I think today is near that as well. Im not moving and I’m sweating. I’m so taking the girls to the mall when they wake up. It’s retarded out.

How did I hack this as a kid? I remember days like this, hanging out at my Dad’s store, sitting in the back yard, the beach, that small polluted little beach seems so long ago. The wobbly pier you could jump off, if you weren’t afraid of eels. Bass with teeth who liked to chew on little girl feet.

Light transports me back-the way it settles on leaves I can nearly pinpoint to years. The quiet regular boredom of a July afternoon, hounding my mother until

“If you’re that bored, I have just the thing for you to do.”

You’re never that bored.

When I was very young, my mother would sit out back with us, playing with the sprinkler as we laughed. I remember that laugh, throwing my head back into the desperate blue sky and staring as I giggled. My mother looked, distracted as she usually did. There, but not.

When the days cooled into evening, we’d sit on the steps and feed the squirrels, talk. I’d pay for those conversations back, but they receeded into the sky with the sun.


One Response to “Light”

  1. karriew July 28, 2007 at 1:23 am #

    I think when we’re little, there is nothing we *have* to do. Really for me, rushing around in the heat, trying to be productive, or feeling guilty for being a worn out slug is the worst. If I could just eat a bomb popsicle in my undies sitting 6 inches from the fan, all would be good.

    It is absurdly muggy here. I’m taking 2-3 showers a day and I still reek. Blech.

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