Spent

25 Jul

Maybe it’s the heat, maybe it’s the medication, I dunno. But I feel spent, worn out, plain old worn.

My children are irritants. Yesterday it was Popsicles scarfed down at 7 am in their room, quiet as mice, covered in red dye #5. Today, the freaking ice cubes. Then the screeching screaming begins, followed by Ros yelling “Be QUIET!”, or rather, bellowing in that toddler sort of way.

I want to curl up and crochet for days in a villa by the sea, just me and the mist, quiet, a window to stare into the water with, a rocking chair.

The absolute silence of being alone.

I crave that silence like nicotine. I can feel it inside me twisting and wanting out, screaming for that.

My brain is melding into mush, my eyes are constantly heavy, my body feels bulbous and bloated. I am unsettled and displaced.

Move the earth for me, so I can find me footing?

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5 Responses to “Spent”

  1. Netter July 25, 2007 at 10:00 am #

    That’s a common mother’s plea, I think. Just some peace and frickin’ quiet and some alone time.

  2. roxy July 25, 2007 at 10:45 am #

    Oh, darlin’ if only I could.

    ❤ fiona lyric !

  3. charlotteotter July 25, 2007 at 11:01 am #

    I yearn for silence too, and down-time and peace and stillness. I wish some for you and for me and any other mothers who are exhausted and need to be quiet.

    Raising my beautifuls is quite the most draining thing I have ever tried to do. One day I hope to receive medals. Here are yours: XXXXX.

  4. thordora July 25, 2007 at 11:05 am #

    Screw medals. i want beer. Lots and lots of beer.

    And roxy, you are the only one that ever gets the lyrics headers half the time.

    Fricken quiet is right Netter.

  5. Mogo July 25, 2007 at 1:43 pm #

    Teen Titans + basement + me upstairs = all the quiet I could ask for, if I didn’t want to listen to music 😛

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