Me on a what?

20 Jun

So I went and checked out the “You on a Diet” website.

I can start out with all the intentions in the world, but every single time, I stop eventually. (Add in things like feeling bigger despite stopping drinking sugar pop, and one wonders why I bother)

I’m not good with willpower. I’m not good with no sucumbing to my wants. I’m very much not good at getting anyone else in the house to participate with me, which might be half the reason I can’t keep it going. If I’m eating well, and everyone else is eating crap, it’s VERY hard not to fall off the wagon.

And like I heard someone say-if you’re addicted to alcohol or drugs, and you quit, you can stay away from temptations. Not so easy with food, since you need to eat.’

I just had a pudding and a few of my cookies for lunch since I forgot to bring a bowl for my beans and rice. I feel so bloated, my stomach is pushing against my waistband, and I’d kinda like to throw up. What the hell is with my stomach? I can eat well and exercise all I want, but anymore, it doesn’t seem to matter what I do. So it’s incredibly frustrating even trying. It just feels like my body is slowly betraying me. (And yeah, I’d LOVE to go to my doctor, but we’ve seen where that goes)

I just don’t know what it will take, aside from starvation, to get my metabolism moving at all. I feel like I’m alone in this, without any real support with making anything happen. Has anyone else been able to change their eating habits without the support of their household? Cause I don’t know if I have that kind of willpower, to avoid the good things someone else is eating, to retrain my tongue and tummy through that.

I know I “can” do it. It’s getting there that feels so fucking difficult and far away right now.

One Response to “Me on a what?”

  1. bcuzicare August 31, 2008 at 1:43 am #

    You just have to take baby-steps. It can be overwhelming, especially without the support. But look at this way. It took years to get out-of-control, it’s going to take time to regain control. Try taking it one day at a time. Just add something nutritional each time you eat. If you eat burger and fries, add a fresh raw salad with it. Substitute periodically, water for soda. Just take it one step at a time…slowly… let me know if I can help.

    I share my story….bcuzicare!!

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