“why does my bi-polar husband run away?”

13 Jun

Because if he’s anything like me, he just couldn’t resist the compulsion.

I resist it constantly. This little voice in my head, my own voice but different saying “You could just walk you know. Just go.”

I don’t want to. Everything in me, except for that little crazy bipolar space does not want to go anywhere.

But it’s so scary to feel like you, yourself, your very essence can be overridden by some compulsive voice in the back of your head. I worry that sometime I won’t be able to resist, that I will be overcome with the addiction my brain has to different, somewhere else.

I know there’s no greener grass than that on which I sit. But that doesn’t stop the mini me in my head from whispering at me almost constantly, if I let it, if I allow it space.

Your husband isn’t running away from you. In fact, it has little or nothing to do with you. Being bipolar means you live in this tiny little place where only you exist, and nothing really gets inside and touches you unless you push yourself so hard you feel like blood might pool from your ears. Finding a place of real feeling is rare, lovely, and impossibly hard.

Those of you who love someone with bipolar, take heart. We love you back. We are grateful to you, proud of you. But we fight with a demon that sits on us daily, a demon that ties our hands behind us, prevents us from moving in the directions that might work. We drug that demon into submission, but somehow, it always knows how to escape, and return even stronger. We fear the demon, as we fear losing you.

Help bring us back. Stay strong for him, for us. He loves you, as I love my husband.

It’s just that sometimes, we forget how to steer, and end up in places we don’t want. Bring us back, and help us stay.

160 Responses to ““why does my bi-polar husband run away?””

  1. bine June 13, 2007 at 1:42 pm #

    thank you. i needed that. it’s not easy sometimes.

    • Hope August 5, 2012 at 11:58 pm #

      I just read your post. Thank you. I came home 8 weeks ago on June 13th to find my husband gone and I do not know where he is. He sent a letter 4 weeks ago saying that he is alive, working, and living his life. He says that I will never see him again if he can help it and for me to move on with my life. We have been married for 6 years. He was diagnosed bipolar 1 5 years ago and has been on and off meds. He is not taking his meds now for 8 weeks. Even on the depakote, he was very manic before he left for over a month. Thank you for your reply. I am hurt, confused, and frustrated.

      • Beggar March 31, 2013 at 8:26 am #

        Something similar happened to me two weeks ago. My heart breaks for you, and me. We had been married 12 years. I found your post while I was looking for assurance that she would come back, and return to her medicines, but I am not finding that assurance.

      • Lisa June 17, 2013 at 1:44 am #

        Did he ever come back my husband constaly leaves the most is four week but now he comes back sooner but says he wants to start over the reson is he says he says that is he is tired of hurting me and he hates the way he feels the leaving is getting closer it used to be every six to 12 months but now it’s every 4 to six weeks

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  2. weedragon June 13, 2007 at 5:50 pm #

    Thank you. I’ve never heard anyone put it so eloquently before.

  3. aroundnaround June 13, 2007 at 11:33 pm #

    Yes, well said.

    My bipolar makes we wanna run away too. Sometimes it’s the fear of hurting those around you too. The love I feel for my husband is so intense, so strong, so real… yet, I feel so inadequate in expressing it back. It makes me wanna pack my bags and leave because I feel that, at times, he might be better with out me.

    *smile* Good news… it is possible to resist that urge, and it is possible to reach inside that little place that a person with bipolar has and keep them anchored in the here and now. My husband has succeeded for 11 years, and I’m looking forward to the next 11.

    • michael July 21, 2013 at 9:55 am #

      who ever is reading this testimony today should please celebrate with me and my family because it all started like a joke to some people and others said it was impossible. my name is Michael i live in Chicago i am happily married with two kids and a lovely wife something terrible happen to my family along the line, i lost my job and my wife packed out of my house because i was unable to take care of her and my kids at that particular time. i manage all through five years, no wife to support me to take care of the children and there come a faithful day that i will never forget in my life i met an old friend who i explain all my difficulties to, and he took me to a spell caster and and the name of the temple is called, okundonorgreatspell, i was assure that everything will be fine and my wife will come back to me after the wonderful work of dr okundonorgreatspell, my wife came back to me and today i am one of the richest man in my country. i advice you if you have any problem email him with this email: dr.okundonorgreatspell@gmail.com and you will have the best result. take things for granted and it will be take from you.

  4. Bromac June 14, 2007 at 7:51 am #

    well done, dear.

  5. thordora June 14, 2007 at 8:25 am #

    I feel horrible admitting that I feel that way alot-it freaks Mogo out. But if I don’t talk about it, I go nutty.

  6. tulip June 14, 2007 at 8:09 pm #

    Hey! I popped over here from Work It, Mom, where I saw you signed up too! I always notice your comments on ParentDish as well. It’s nice to see another bi-polar mom out there. I was just struggling today to put this into words for my husband and it was so hard. Thanks for your eloquence on the subject and for sharing it with us. 🙂

  7. thordora June 14, 2007 at 9:35 pm #

    Well hi there Tulip! I don’t comment at PD really, at all since trolldom scares me…

    Bipolar moms ARE rare. That’s cause we rock so hard… 🙂

    Visit more often!

  8. thordora June 14, 2007 at 9:37 pm #

    aroundaround-my poor husband…he’s put up with so much…I’ve always felt the same, like he might leave…I hate that part…

  9. tulip June 15, 2007 at 7:31 pm #

    Well regardless of your commenting I’m glad I found you! Anyone who is bi-polar AND likes skinny puppy is aces in my book.
    I used to have a leather jacket that Nivek Ogre signed on the sleeve. It was a cool moment back in my clubbing days. 🙂

  10. Gretchen June 26, 2007 at 8:33 pm #

    I found your blog while surfing and trying to understand why someone I met, whom tells me he fell for me, yet couldn’t deal with those emotions – they scared him so much he wanted to drink (and he’s recovering). So I had to let him go because he ran – and I took it personally, and it hurts. Because if it wasn’t for this back and forth of pushing forward and backing off, he’d have been everything I had been waiting for. Its been incredibly hard for me to understand why someone would run from love and someone who supported and loved him despite everything. I wanted to be there for him, and support him to get better and work through hard times but he pushed me away, and now I don’t know if I can believe he truly did care about me. So, I sit here heartbroken.

    • shayla September 28, 2010 at 4:33 am #

      i understand how u feel. im separated from my bipolar husband and still deciding if i should stay with him. i do love him alot but he had a manic episode recently. hes ok now but im scared it will happen again? and he’s nt really taking meds but he says he’s goin to. i dont know wot to do i really hate this bipolar thing. wot if i stay and my life becomes worse, i will never be able to go threw that again. what if i leave an then be heartbroken forever?

    • justwant2bnormal May 19, 2011 at 6:07 pm #

      This post im replying to was obviously years ago, but i felt like i should reply incase it might help. I can relate to “the one that ran away”. I am deeply, madly in love with a wonderful man, but i keep threatening to leave and move away so i dont have to put him through my “BS”. I have strange thoughts, im jealous over nothing and things are just getting worse inside my head. I know he loves me to pieces and i love him more then anything. I just feel that he doesnt deserve to live a life with someone who has the issues that ive got. He would be much better off with someone else who isnt gonna freak out over sillyness. I see that it hurts him the way i change from one mood to another so quickly. I feel like he just doesnt understand me, he never will. I just dont want to put him through this back and forth , happy then sad,angry then happy, mood swing show. So , with all this said, im positive he loves you the way you love him. I guess all you can do is let them know you care and want to be there no matter what. Tell them not to be afraid and you can work on things together as a team.

      I hope for all the best with all those who struggle with love and bipolar.

    • michael July 21, 2013 at 8:27 am #

      who ever is reading this testimony today should please celebrate with me and my family because it all started like a joke to some people and others said it was impossible. my name is Michael i live in Chicago i am happily married with two kids and a lovely wife something terrible happen to my family along the line, i lost my job and my wife packed out of my house because i was unable to take care of her and my kids at that particular time. i manage all through five years, no wife to support me to take care of the children and there come a faithful day that i will never forget in my life i met an old friend who i explain all my difficulties to, and he took me to a spell caster and and the name of the temple is called, okundonorgreatspell, i was assure that everything will be fine and my wife will come back to me after the wonderful work of dr okundonorgreatspell, my wife came back to me and today i am one of the richest man in my country. i advice you if you have any problem email him with this email: dr.okundonorgreatspell@gmail.com and you will have the best result. take things for granted and it will be take from you.

  11. thordora June 26, 2007 at 8:44 pm #

    Gretchen, in his way, he loved you.

    Some of us just have an impossible time trying to figure out what we feel-is this love? Shouldn’t I be giddy? Should I never hurt? Shouldn’t it be easy to love?

    I don’t find it easy to love at all, and for years, I ran from it, and kept it away from me. It scared me, because it’s work, and it’s hard.

    It’s not you. You did what you could, but some people just aren’t ready. Maybe they never are.

    • KLE March 10, 2009 at 11:33 pm #

      I had been dating someone for 2 years who was recently diagnosed with bipolar II. He was so charming at the beginning, acted like he really just wanted to be the savior of my life or something. He told me he loved me within the first month of being with me. He was going through a divorce when I met him. At first, I blamed all the emotional ups and downs on the divorce, but now that 2 years have gone by, it makes so much sense that he is bipolar. He breaks up with me out of nowhere, and then begs and pleads for me to take him back. I’ve seen this man cry more times that I’ve probably cried in my entire 33 years of life. Everytime he comes back he talks about us getting married, how much he loves me, etc. Then things start to go south. He would become emotionally distant. If I walked into his house and didn’t give him a hug right away, he would make an issue of it. Of course if he didn’t hug me right away, it was no big deal. He was always groping me and not really very sweet with his advances. Grabbing my butt, etc. Nothing that really turns a girlfriend on. I told him time and time again that this bothered me, but it’s almost like he never heard me. Everytime he broke up with me I would find out he was out that night with some other girl. He’s lied to me over and over and over again. Big and small lies. He exaggerates every story he tells and I always know most of it is made up. Uugh. Anyway, the most recent break up was this past weekend. He had been distant the few days before. I spent the night at his place on Tues. and Wed. nights, then Friday afternoon he said he has a sinus headache and asked me if I wanted to come over. I said I’d come over later that night and he said that should work. Well, I called him after I left the gym around 5:00 and he sounded like he was asleep. He said he was going to take a nap until 10:00 and then I could come over, but he said he would call when he woke up. I said “Well, I might just make plans to go out with the girls if you aren’t feeling well and are going to sleep that late.” He said no, please don’t, I will call. Did he call?? NO. Turns out, he went out with some other girl that night at 6:00, so totally pretended to be sleeping. I haven’t spoken with him since that Friday when I called. He hasn’t called or anything… which at this point, is just fine. I’m so emotionally worn out from this relationship, and don’t want to be married to someone like this. But, I must say, I am hurt by it. Not only am I someone who has been there for him through his divorce, got him into a therapist, and always dealing with his ups and downs, I’m also his business partner. Does he have absolutely no respect or feelings for me at all?? Was this entire relationship just a lie? It’s crazy to me. I’ve been through break ups before, and we usually talk them out. I have never just bailed on someone and stopped talking to them. Can someone help me make some sense of this? Did I really just waste 2 years on someone that I literally meant nothing to?

      • ali June 29, 2010 at 2:44 pm #

        I am sure my boyfriend has bi polar. I have been with him for three years then he ran away as lost job. I am sure he is always contacting on internet. He turns his phone off and just contacts me via email. There was no warning of him going either. Then he came back as righted himself and like a fool i took him back as he promised marriage wouldnt do it again he made a dreadful mistake etc etc. He was back for three years lost his job, got evicted and he has turned his phone off again and just contacts me by email telling me i have to wait a couple of months before he can rent place again as he doesnt want to hurt me. Bare with him etc. I am sure he has used women for a free roof during these times. I know he does love me sooo much and he will be back. I feel responsible as he has no family and little friends and no one who cares and we have such fun when he is normal. I have told him i think he has bipolar but he just ignores it and thinks not. my heart aches so much when he does not contact me but I think i will have to make the break to stay sane. He was my first boyfriend at 15.
        Now I am 43 and he has been back in my life 6 years.
        I have not lived with him as never trusted him as secret phones in the past etc etc
        One thing I have learnt is that he uses peoples he doesnt love for his own gain. He does love me and doesnt want to hurt me but he does he cant help it. It is always my fault when i blame him for the cheating/ phone/ internet.

        I am worn out too. But love his normal times so a roller coaster.

        No he says he is in a bad place and cant contact me as his head is mush. It probably is but i think it is also because he is with a woman. I have given him til the weekend to turn his phone on and talk to me if not its over.

        Can anyone confirm he has bi polar thru this story or is he just odd.

        • Susie May 21, 2011 at 4:25 pm #

          Oh I can assure you he is Bipolar!!!
          I am the soon to be ex-wife of a man with Bi-polar. Don’t walk, RUN and don’t look back.

      • shayla September 28, 2010 at 4:46 am #

        im goin through the same thing. people tell me its better to leave before things get worse but it is so hard. im married to bipolar spouse for 3 yrs. i only found out about his ilness after we got married. at least u know before u decide to marry him. he had a manic episode bout a year ago which lasted for months. he is normal now but for how long? i ask myself that question everyday. we are kind of separated nw because im nt sure i wana stay with him, im still deciding i cant make up my mind. im seeing a therapist which helps but the decision lies with me. the problem he lied alot and im nt sure if he stil does. trust is the biggest problem in our marriage because he had an affair. he gambled too when he was high and now he is in financial debt. i really feel like i wana die than decide wot 2 do coz he still loves me and so do i. hes not on meds nw but he says he’s goin to the clinic

      • raquel August 1, 2016 at 7:25 pm #

        My only reply to you is to move on I was married to someone that was bipolar 1 for 8 yrs and I recently got divorced what a blessing! I feel like a new women. That was some shit to go through I wish I had known he was bipolar when I met him recently my counsler told me I was dealing with a narcissist on top of everything else. EVERYONE dont waste UR TIME THESE PEOPLE ARE DEMONS.

  12. Gretchen June 26, 2007 at 8:55 pm #

    But love shouldn’t be hard. Especially when its returned. Isn’t it easier knowing no matter what, someone is there beside you? Knowing you aren’t alone in the world or that you don’t have to face everything alone. He would go on and on about how he was afraid of screwing it up, and making the same mistakes he made when he was drinking and doing drugs. Part of me thought hes having to deal with emotions that he could just drink away before, but I think its more than that.

    I could understand if he didn’t want love – but he sought me out, he pursued me, he chased me and I reciprocated and held back for him because I knew he was getting ahead of himself – and thats when he flipped out. He can’t talk to me about it, he just shut me out, told me what he wanted, wouldn’t give me a clear explanation on other things and just shut me off like a switch, like I didn’t matter, and thats basically what i’m feeling like. Him “falling for me” was a crock, because thats how he handled it.

  13. Gretchen June 26, 2007 at 10:31 pm #

    By the way after reading your previous comments, he’s bipolar as well and loves skinny puppy 😉 so there are more of you in the world.

  14. thordora June 27, 2007 at 8:17 am #

    I think sometimes, in my case at least, you want something, but you just don’t know how to handle it. I’ve come very close to divorce because while I want someone to support me, sometimes all the shit that goes along with being a “responsible adult in a relationship” is almost too much to bear. It’s like you want the emotional equivilent of a fuck buddy.

    It’s terrible to be on the other end of that. Maybe what he felt was so large, so overwhelming and scary that it was easier to block you out. Lord knows I’ve done that to enough people in my life when things got more than casual, regardless of the type of relationship.

    It’s not you. there’s nothing you could have done or not done if he’s set up to run. Only time will help. I’m sorry he broke your heart. 😦

  15. Gretchen June 27, 2007 at 8:29 am #

    Its funny you said that because he’s had a lot of fuck buddies, but when he sat me down to tell me he couldn’t deal with it the first time before coming back again, he told me he had a friend with benefits that he had unresolved feelings for which well made me fell like what he told me he felt for me was a lie. Or thats all he wanted was a friends with benefits, which I told him from the outside, I cannot do, I get to emotionally involved or end up not feeling anything for the person and they fall for me and I dont want to do that to someone, so I dont do friends with benefits. I mean their a friend – dont you hang out and do things with them and care for them. I guess the difference is the intensity of feelings. So I guess thats what he chose to do, go back to the friend with benefits because it was easier. Thing is he came and left pulling the I can do it a few times…..I wish he just left, and when I finally told him via email that I loved him and needed to let him go to do what was best for him because that seems like what he wanted he never responded. He wouldn’t talk to me face to face after the final sprint, so thats the only choice I had to save myself. You’re sweet, I appreciate you trying to help me understand, because I dont – I am used to running to love when you find it, because its the best feeling in the world when you find someone who loves you like you love them and you have had the ability to trust them.

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  16. feed up wife September 25, 2007 at 4:50 pm #

    i have been with my husband 14 years and when he carnt cope he runs. the last time as his mum is dying. the blame is always my fault which is very hurtful and makes me feel worthless. He also drinks and smokes cannabis when i comment that he needs help he shuts me and his kids out. He runs of from every adult responsability and just runs. In the past he has jumped onto a plane and went to other side of world and then didnt want to be there. When he runs it can go on for months and its the not speaking that really pisses me why does he carry on like this ? What about what it does he me and the kids i find it very destructive and am at the end of my teather with this behaviour. I do believe he loves us very much and never wants to take anything but im sick of the one who has to carry and sort everything out. I have had alot of problems to deal with my farther in hospital 6 monts etc what about me.

    • anomymos May 4, 2010 at 12:58 am #

      ive been with my guy for 6years and he regulary runs away for a week at a time, i cant understand why he does it and it drives me mental also when they wont call, you have done this for 14yrs??
      that tells me my guy will never change and you have given me the courage to tell himgoodbye, i hope that i can also give you that courage too

  17. Peter October 1, 2007 at 3:14 pm #

    I just googled on in here and I have sent this to my wife to see if she can understand just a little more. I love her so much it hurts and she is terrified that I don’t because so much of what I do and say is incomprehensible to her. Like you say, places we don’t want to be, but those places seem so enticing don’t they?
    I know this seems to be an old thread, but I am out looking for “people like me”. Thanks.

  18. thordora October 1, 2007 at 8:54 pm #

    Peter, please, send her over. I can’t imagine being a spouse os someone with bipolar. I can’t imagine navigating this from the outside.

    I’m here if you need a shoulder, either of you. You shouldn’t do this alone.

  19. KR October 9, 2007 at 11:26 pm #

    my bi polar mate of 3 years began doing the leaving thing about a year into our relationship. Once I identified it and put 2 and 2 together: Dad was institutionalized as was bro…even Bellevue! Perhaps we have a tether into that world…I have two boys. He was the most outrageously perfect excellent father figure. We all cuddled and loved up the wazoo. Then the first bout was minimal but he stayed away…the 2nd one he disappeared without a trace and we phoned like heck. He would not respond. Then I found him through a friend. We went to get him…1.5 hrs away. He joined us and we loved him and loved him and he seemed normal again. We told him how bad it hurt and to NEVER do this to us again. He did. And my little boy got a bloody nose when he realized he was gone again. He cried and kicked the wall…”What did you do to him to make him do this????” He finally communicated via email…but late into the eve and we were awaiting him early in the day! He started to hate all the people in my world. He was jealous…on rampages for me to ‘undo’ all the people in my world. He wanted me in my divorce proceedings to GET EVERYTHING!!! It was heinous. He bugged me so much that I couldn’t stand getting my settlement even though my estranged husband and I were on excellent terms, he wanted me at war.

    He was making life harder and harder, sicker and sicker. One day I came home and he had packed and left not a trace of himself. He said we didn’t see eye to eye and that I was to never contact him again. I did find him 3 weeks later and he asked if I’d like to go into couples therapy. I said YES!!!!!!!!!!! He never did this until 4 weeks ago. A year later from the date. He was aggressively vile about me in therapy. It was so horrible. The therapist said: he needs personal work and cannot focus on the couple since his person is in such need! We cried and held each other so hard that night. He said that he was going to re-commit to me and really work on us. One week later…he had moved out completely. I had found an email because I was now one who checked his emails. He was so strange I was crazed! He had taken many trips in the year and NEVER took me one time. Yet lived off of me totally. Never contributing. Not even to take out the garbage. One email to a woman he had just met said: Speaking with you brings me bundles of joy. I look forward to speaking with you soon…you got a couple of hours?

    I couldn’t contain myself. I had to tell him it was really bad and inappropriate. He took off and then never came home so I found her phone number…called her and she acted very ugly towards me. Protecting him…..Then he called 4or 5 minutes later. Saying he was on his way home. He’d been hiking. I’ll never know its truth.
    Two days later he told the kids and I it was over and he was gone by noon. We never heard from him again. Wednesday the 10th is 3 weeks. Everyone thinks he’ll re-surface. It’s been so horrible I cannot tell you…so why am I desperate for that re-surface? WHAT is it I want? Self-abuse???? He’s been a monster and although the kids sat stunned that he left us…like a car crash they said: here one second and gone the next???????? No more contact. I called one time and he told me to ‘just go through it’ to ‘see it through the other side and it would all be over’ and go on with my life.

    I hate him and wish he’d come back for me all in the same sick breath. Was I THIS screwed up when he came to me? Or have I joined his elevations and dips? It’s so sick. I could never ever do ONE thing right. The WORST microscope I have ever had on me.

    And to tell you the truth, I am aware of how uber fabulous I am when he is not around…so why the heck would I want THAT near me?

    Thanks for listening. KR

  20. thordora October 10, 2007 at 8:32 am #

    Whew.

    That sucks. And I have no words, except that I’m sorry.

  21. aroundnaround October 12, 2007 at 4:15 am #

    Whoa.

    My heart breaks for you KR. No words that I have can help. I cannot even apologize for what your mate has done. It seems even alien to me. Please take care of you.

    A&A

  22. DemonsAlwaysRearTheirHeads October 23, 2007 at 10:07 pm #

    I hope this may help someone. I am sure it will hurt many. I am all of your loved ones. I am 32 y/o male who was misdiagnosed with clinical depression at the age of 6 in 1980 then at 23 in 1999. It was only recently in 2006 when an ex-gf studying psych mentioned to me about the possibility of being bipolar. The funny thing is I was a straight A psych minor as an undergrad and hold a masters and clinical doctorate. Oddly enough my social worker/counselor said something to me the following week as well. The next week I had a new and correct Dx: Bipolar I Disorder.

    I looked back at my childhood and adolescence. I realized how messed up my life was. I realized what triggered everything. Oh yea…My dad was bipolar and mom is a depressive with panic attacks….gotta love the world of genetics! thrown in are the triggers and “BLAM!”

    I live with severe bipolar I disorder. I have never felt comfortable in my own skin and probably never will. Nobody has yet to figure out what the correct combination of meds are. I am very well educated…hold multiple patents, publications, appointments, yet can’t hold a clinical job b/c of the disease. My demons know exactly when to rear their heads. The impulsivity I feel is sexual in nature. The creativity I feel is utterly amazing. It’s the only positive to come from this!

    I have had 70-80 female partners since I was 13-14. I am constantly looking for new partners even when in a great relationship. I am never able to hold a relationship greater than a year. I am one of 3 single friends of all of my friends and family which pains me daily. I want stability but know it might not ever be within my reaches. I want to pick up and move daily, not b/c of anyone on my life like some of you may feel, but b/c the demons overwhelm me, THEY OVERWHELM US, and there is very little to do when this occurs except hope that our loved ones and friends are there to help us.

    As for me…I acknowledge that I will most likely live in an institution when I am older as I am an only child who will never marry or have kids. It’s a sad situation but at least I don’t have to let anyone else suffer the absolute F#$%&@% Hell I/We deal with every single day.

    I cry every day for myself, my family and loved ones for I know I will take my life one day. I cry for your loved ones, for all of you, and for everyone living with a mental disease for it’s not the way one should have to walk through this life. The burden is heavy even when the load is light. Be well and take care.

    • shayla September 28, 2010 at 4:59 am #

      hi demons always rear their heads! ur comment scared me. doesnt the meds help? im married to 1 an dont know if i shud stay but afta reading ur comment im becoming doubtful although i do love love him an he loves me

    • Trish July 30, 2015 at 2:11 pm #

      I just read this and feel sad for you, but you can overcome this with putting your faith in Jesus Christ your Creator. We live on this earth in a very sinful state due to sin and demonic influences constantly. This leads to addictions. Jesus Christ paid the penalty for our sins so we can dwell in peace with Him both here on earth and in our true home on e day. Read the bible gospel of John.

  23. astrid November 5, 2007 at 5:35 am #

    mine does it too
    been together 27 years
    he was only diagnosed about 6 years ago when had first majoer up swing and down slide
    he displays all at major chariceristics, wild spending, sexual promiscuity,
    mad projects,
    but this only surfaced at 40.
    since 17 he was always a bit, well alot moody but a kind and generouse person who loves his kids and i thought ,me
    he’ turned into the worst kind of self absorbed b—d dosent wash, sleeps alone in his clothes, goes out to clubs 4 nights per week, lies to me and the kids.
    part of his problem is his parents now in their 80’s
    mother mainly depressed BP (undiagnosed)

    father a “recovering”(40y) alcoholic control freak bully, patriachal mysoginistic. this old bast–d continues to load guilt and sh-t on my sweeti even when I have tried to explain the damage he causes.
    he used to beat his kids uncontolably even after he became dry

    my man runs when it gets too much, leaving me and the kids to cope.
    I often dont know where he is or if he’ll come back

    sometimes i hate him but deep down i love him and just wait for the storms to end (until next time)

    astrid

    • shayla September 28, 2010 at 5:01 am #

      hey astrid! so how come u neva left?

  24. anne November 17, 2007 at 11:17 am #

    KR…I am so sorry for you and your family. Hard as it may be, try to find an inner stillness…put the problem in God’s hands and through the stillness he may show you the way.
    I can relate to your pain. My husband of 18 years just walked out on me without even a goodbye. He just came in when I was at work, cleared his stuff out and sent me an e-mail regarding divorce..Oh yes, I did get a call from him while at work telling me he doesn’t love me as a wife…Just brural stuff..
    I should have seen it coming . He is bipolar, supposedly taking meds…the same meds he was prescribed 5 years ago and hasn’t seen a doctor since then. He kept distancing himself physically and emotionally..shutting me and our son out on every level…Now I have learned he has had an apartment for months, and was living there when he told me he was away for business…So may lies…..all with a straight face.. Checking the bank accounts, I see he has been spending lots of money….I am just hurting so badly right now…it is hard not to blame myself..He won’t confront me physically to discuss..when I tried (after he told me on the phone at work that he didn;t love me), he said he made plans for the evening and wasn’t going to break them….O this is just crazy stuff…Please say a prayer for me..I am not a bad person..He was on the verge of eviction and already in bankruptcy when I met him so long ago…I took him into the home I made for myself and my son and loved him..showed him how to regain his credit, lent him mine, and let him be a daddy to my boy…and he has simply walked away..not even a goodbye to the now beautiful young man we raised together…Please God, grant me stillness to cope…..

  25. Scott Teal November 28, 2007 at 5:07 pm #

    I’m very new to all this. My bipolar girlfriend of 6 months informed me the other night that she wants to take a ‘break’ and be friends for a bit. She practically had a breakdown in front of me – was shaking, saying she couldn’t get thoughts out of her head, wanted to throw a glass at the wall and was vomiting.
    Obviously she had a breakthrough of sorts. She was incredibly stressed – I comforted her but she was TOTALLY freaked out – and then asked if we could be ‘friends’ only.

    After a week of limited contact – me just ringing to see if she was OK – she rang me last night and asked if I wanted to come over to talk. So I did for 5 hours. I was able to ask her a lot of questions in a very caring and supportive manner -although I did back off when I could see her start to struggle.

    The areas she got nervous about are ‘if her drugs are working’ and her psychiatrist (she only sees him once a year) – although she is going to ‘try’ and book in with him next week..

    She basically wants a ‘break’ because she feels having a relationship is putting too much ‘pressure’ on her at the moment. And that word kept coming up again and again and again – ‘PRESSURE’. And yet this was one of the things I tried most hard to avoid – putting ‘pressure’ on her to be a ‘girlfriend’. It was her who made the first move on ME and decided to move in with me until she bought her new apartment – not me – and I never ASKED if she wanted to stay – I always let her DECIDE – simply because I didn’t want her to feel ‘pressured’. As I had come out of a long term relationship – she also ‘felt pressure’ to ‘live up’ to my past girlfriend – again I had reassured her that I was after something TOTALLY different. I also remembered I noticed a while ago she hadn’t seen some friends for a while – so I told her to keep in touch with them (basically saying she didn’t have to be with ME all of the time). And she feels ‘pressure’ that we work for the same company (although we never see each other)…and she felt pressure that I told her I ‘loved’ her a while back…

    So she loved everything we had – but also felt it was too much to deal with. She needs this ‘break’ to ‘isolate herself and find out who she is again’. I asked why it’s only me she wants to isolate herself from – not her friends and family and she replied ‘well they don’t ask questions why I’m doing it’ (they wouldn’t know I suspect…)

    She knew I had been reading a lot on BP and when I asked her if she wants me to print anything out she said – ‘no maybe when I’m better’. I reinforced to her that I’m in this for the long haul – and it seemed to please her I was in quite a good mood – again she said that if I was down and depressed she would see this as ‘pressure’ to get back together again straight away.

    But we did have lots of laughs and what can I say – the spark is certainly there and she doesn’t think this is ‘over’ but still needs this ‘break’ and ‘space’. Although she did confirm she has done this to other boyfriends – she doesn’t think there is a pattern…hmmmmm. I tried to bring up the fact that this ‘breaking up’ behaviour could be due to her bipolar – but she either didn’t understand or didn’t want to understand.

    So what can I say – you all told me there was no easy answer – and my God there isn’t. I don’t know if she is Bipolar 1 or II – I know she said she also had elements of ‘schizoaffective??’ diagnosed and is on a mood stabilzier and Lithium daily.

    When I asked her why she suddenly ‘sprung’ this break on me – she said she had ‘no choice’ – it was either this or ‘madness’.

    So what to do? I don’t know – I’ve never been in this position before. We connect on EVERY level and could have a great relationship – yet this is what scares her most – the ‘pressure’ of being in a ‘relationship’.

    Overall – she knows I’m there and will give her space. What more can a guy in love do? Sigh…Scott

  26. thordora November 28, 2007 at 6:27 pm #

    Scott, this sucks for you, and I know exactly where she’s coming from.

    She’s not exactly being rational, as you may have already guessed. And the pressure thing, it’s not you, it’s the idea of you, it’s what you represent. A relationship, all the baggage and weight that comes along with it.

    At some of my happiest times, I still had trouble not resenting my relationship, and that’s been one of the most wonderful things of my recovery-being able to appreciate someone loving me. IN my head, my husband had “settled” and I was there to help with the bills and that was about it. We weren’t a couple-we were almost a business-not truly, but this is how I felt. I always felt this HUGE pressure to be everything, to take care of everything, to be responsible.

    Now some of it he put on me, but much of it he had nothing to do with. I placed that anxious pressure on myself. Sure, he had to come to realize that there are some expectations I can’t live up to-i.e. organization, thrift, but he’s been rewarded with a person who can laugh and live again.

    There is no easy answer and no right answer. Ask her what she wants, do what you can to follow her directions, but also be there. Do something sweet and out of character that you know she’d love, something small but loving without any strings.

    Keep in mind that being the one to decide is it’s own kind of pressure, and if she’s already feeling overwhelmed, feeling like she has to make a decision about you might be making things worth. Back off a little, and let her come to you.

    And help her get to her doctor. Obviously something isn’t working if she’s that anxious.

    Email me if you’d like. Now that I’m on the other side, I can see how intolerable I was sometimes. Email is on my sidebar.

  27. Scott Teal November 29, 2007 at 10:03 am #

    Thankyou so much thodora !!

    Get this though – I was in my office to day and my girlfriend called past – I had had no contact with her for four days and she said she was dropping by to see how I was.

    We chatted and then she said ‘God – don’t look at me with those eyes – they make me want to kiss you right now’.

    I then realised that she seemingly seemed ‘normal’ – I could ‘see’ that other girlfriend I know.

    I told her I wanted to kiss her too – she joked and said don’t worry she’s booking in for her labotomy next week first.

    It bizarrely felt like old times – and by that I mean two weeks ago!!

    Can she flip this quickly!! She’s finished work and there is whole lot of STRESS off her and she wants to catch up this Sunday.

    I am VERY confused – the rollercoaster continues…..Scott

  28. thordora November 29, 2007 at 10:12 am #

    You should talk to my husband. He knows exactly what you’re going through. And for someone bipolar, yes, it is normal. Sadly, scarily normal.

  29. lindamcgraw@yahoo.com December 2, 2007 at 2:34 pm #

    Well i have been through this hell. I have called off alot of bad things curses and such. I had the dream from my dad i know he has it he was with a bat to my mom.. and she hit a nieghbor window with one. I believe it was dad too he killed all my rabbits and dogs the people are sick. Yelllings too. My husband has the blurry eyes I am scared what do I do I want to live with a christian family my husband is a nut case I keep walking miles away from him. Please have your church bless the familly it could be satin. I really would like to work also. There are some lonely people up there I just need a safe place to go. Linda p.s. I really don’t mind the arguments but I don’t like the commandments and yelling and beating I see for nothin. We really need help. I am normal and someone tried to baker act me it was tramatic. Plus four tramatic things I’m out. Now I work for my friend with the same sickness. God I don’t need this. Linda Bless me please oh lord take the scars away. Now I have problems with employment take away this virus. I open the window he shuts the window back and forth and I live on a roller coaster ride go with the ride. I wish I could help people and make money with this. Take this curse off.

  30. lindamcgraw@yahoo.com December 2, 2007 at 2:35 pm #

    did it go through . write back. i can help too.linda

  31. Brandi April 3, 2008 at 3:58 pm #

    Please help me i dont know what to do? I have been married to my husband for 1yr and 4 months. He had told me he was bipolar and had been diagnosed with it. We we started dating he stopped taking his meds i didnt believe he was bipolar cause i never saw any signs. He had his occasional mood swings but nothing major. Then his parents that had been married for 30 yrs. were getting a divorce then it just went downhill from there. I began to see his mood swings more and more. Then the worst one came acouple of months ago he out of no where came home and told me he didnt want to me married anymore. He wanted to do whatever he wanted to do. He didnt want to answer to anybody and he wasnt in love with me anymore. Well a few days later he told me he was wrong and didnt mean anything he said and he wanted to stay with me. Well i forgave him but every couple of weeks he changes his mind and i cant handle it anymore. Then he hasnt been having sex with other women but he keeps talking about wanting to and i keep catching him talk to other girls like dirty talk and this are girls he hasnt talked to in years he just all of a sudden decides he wants to call them up and see how there doing then next thing you know there texting each other dirty stuff. He keeps telling me hell change but nothing ever does i always catch him doing something and he always tells me to keep working with him.
    He finally went back to the doc. and got on his meds yesterday but today i found an email a girl sent him with a whole bunch of stuff that SHE WANTED TO DO TO HIM. So i packed up his stuff today and made him leave i dont know if this was the right decision. Should i have done that?
    Part of me thinks he does all this because he knows he can get away with it and i will still stay? does his mind even think like that? I wanted to prove to him that i wont put up with it but i dont know if it will bite me in the but at the end.

  32. Cheryl April 14, 2008 at 10:53 pm #

    I am very new to this. Like most, I was involved with a man with bipolar disease. Hence, I state was involved because right now I don’t know where our relationship stands. We’ve been together for 9 months. I noticed the signs of him being bipolar within a couple of months of being together, I just didn’t recognize the depthness of it. It’s been a rocky 9 months. We have been on and off several times since we’ve gotten together. I do love him, wish him all the best, and hope that he will soon get treatment for this illness.

    He has been emotionally and physically abusive towards me. Of course it’s always my fault. He often told me that he was misunderstood. I’m not going to say that it has been all of his fault, but a majority of it has. Most of our arguments come as a result of him drinking excessively. I do drink myself but I try to be responsible. Once I began to recognize that he can’t control the alcohol, I constantly watch my intake. We mainly have these arguments because he does not know when to stop, or I catch him flirting, or even on the internet speaking with other women. I’ve busted him on the net on myspace and even had read some of his dirty little talks with other women. But of course it’s my fault. When I first found out about the myspace, or he promised he would quit. Never did, it only got worse. I informed him that that sort of stuff hurted me. It was as if, he didn’t hear me. He just kept on doing it. That’s when I started to draw the line because I feel that I should be respected more than what he has given me. By the way, I’m the main financial support of the household. He has contributed very little.

    I’m sorry to be so lengthy here, but it’s like I’m living with the devil himself. He took off a week ago to go on a trip. I took him to the bus station because I wasn’t going to take him where he wanted to be. He has had very little contact with me. Very little. I think I probably spoken to him on 2-3 ocassions since he left. And when I do speak to him, he cuts me off very quickly. I suspect that he is with someone. He has cheated on me previously. His girlfriend called my phone and told me – but of course, he never had sex with her! I suppose he is with someone from the internet. I phoned him last night to see where things stood. I didn’t receive a verbal answer. He was very cold to me and his words were “bye” I’ll call you from my friend’s phone. Of course he hasn’t called back. I wasn’t expecting him too. To tell the truth I don’t know what to expect anymore. He does have a legal issue which is coming up and that is he may get prosecuted if he doesn’t pay for a bad check by the 20th. I informed him of this situation and he told me he would take care of it. I have offered to help him pay for it since he “bought” groceries for the house. Never mind he hasn’t done a whole lot. He has frustrated me so much in the past that during our arguments, I have said some pretty mean things to him. That is the way in which he made me feel. Didn’t want to get a job, no motivation, plays video games, etc. He won’t go to the doctor to get back on his meds. I know he has not taken them in 9 months. Oh, well there was an episode in which he did borrow some of his cousin’s medicine for a couple of days. I would have try to help him in all the way in which I could. As I said before, I don’t know what to expect anymore. Some of me is fearful that he will just show up at my door unexpectedly. Or he may even be in town and wouldn’t tell me. To be honest, I’m sort of afraid. I haven’t told my family or friends all that is going on. Especially the physically abuse stuff. Of course, he wants me to keep that a secret. But I felt the need to vent. I have to so that I can go on with my life.

  33. thordora April 15, 2008 at 8:06 am #

    Cheryl, please get help for you. You can’t fix someone who doesn’t admit they’re broken, and he’s dangerous to you. None of this is your fault. His disease makes him toxic, and as you’ve noticed, dangerous.

    Please. Tell your family. Tell your friends. You’d be surprised at who might understand, and who will help you.

    Please. You don’t deserve this.

  34. Suzie April 18, 2008 at 1:47 am #

    Well i found this sight as my fiance has packed up and ran away again, and i wanted to find answers. He possibly will only be gone for a few days but it still leaves me with no trust for him and a fear, does this man i am to marry respect me if he can just pack his things and leave without a trace. His brother is diagnosed with bipolar and i am sure my finace has it also. He knows he needs help as when he returns from the running away he says that i should just ignore it and that he loves me but cant always handle my pressure. Last time he ran away he left a note and a large cheque asking me to leave as he cant handle my pressure, and that i should hate him for this he understands. This time he has text me not to worry that he is alright. Am i on the right trak is this bipolar behaviour??
    Oh this is about the 9th time he has packed and ran away.

  35. ANGIE May 9, 2008 at 5:24 pm #

    I also have a husband who is bipolar, he was recently in the hospital to get back on some meds alot!!! 8 different ones 3 times a day little change i am very hopful and pray that this works but 1st he has got to want this to work! i know this is an illness ,but so is addication[drugs,acholol,food,whatever it maybe] all mantal illness……………. and its somthing we all have to want i know because of addication,but he is bp and addicted,,,,,,which comes along w/ bp— to self medicate!! he has been so crazy at times,mean-physically and mentally,cheating,never his fault,somone is always tring to bring or put him down,went to jail,pity trips,constantly nagging me-on and on andon andon !!! until i sometimes want to jump out of the car while we are driving down the rode just to make it stop! will it ever get better?? well like i said i hope and pray …but one thing i have learned is you do have to make a stand you are a person and you should get what you give but w/ a bp you hvae to be firm mean it no matter if he/she loves you really he will take the measures to get help the right help and you stand by him show him your strenght and he just might make it!! all that i read from the other replys sound so familar its scary!!!! dont be an enabler stand for the right thing .why not go to a dr. they will go buy beer ,go looking for drugs,layout w/ bitches,but has an excuse about the dr. of why he cant go—HELL NO— ITS NOT FAIR!!! to anyone. my husbands mom was his enabler, until she seen she was gonna be the one to lose everything because of it, boy did she help make sure he got help this time!!! yall pray he stays on his meds and doe well, and ill pray for all of you … iam so glad i found yall. iam always here and i hope you guys feel the same……………..GOD BLESS……………..

  36. daisy May 14, 2008 at 10:26 pm #

    Oh my gosh, I can believe the pattern in all of these stories, abusive husband, running away, saying they dont have love for their spouse anymore, not being responsible adults, not talking, isolating themselves, taking usless trips, sexual etc. I myself have a bipolar husband and he has done all of the above! but as you can very well see it is NOT THEMSELVES who are doing this, it’s to each it’s own if you decide to forgive your husbands for sexual misconduct.( abusive behavior like hitting you…NO) but if you made a vow, keep it ! through thick and thin we said and believe me this experience will only make you stronger, maybe it might take a year , two years or ten but don’t give up on your spouses. I think of it this way, what if it were me the one with the bipolar , would i want someone to have that kind of patience for me? Remember this, you are a special case and dont compare yourself to no one else, live day by day and try to think in the positive and not the negative of the situation.

    • Natashamamma February 22, 2014 at 3:08 pm #

      Daisy, I see your post was many years ago. My husband left two months ago. Having a hard time explaining things to people because this kind of…crazy is hard to understand. He is in the middle of a manic episode (we’ve been married 11 years, I know his mania well). He moved in with another woman who is sick too and feeding mania. My sweet husband is not there or anywhere around…did you wait a year? I married in sickness and in health. This is overwhelming for me. I would appreciate talking to someone who gets what I am going through. Thanks. Natasha

  37. kris June 28, 2008 at 10:53 am #

    This is my life. After 5 years of marriage, my bp husband has left for the 2nd time…cross country, without warning. Just before I had to have major surgery.

    I stood by him when he left last time (2 yrs ago). He had started up with an ex-girlfriend thousands of miles away. I let him come home and got him into a hospital where he was finally diagnosed after years of trying to get help to understand what was wrong with him.

    I have supported him financially and dealt with all kinds of problems since we’ve been together…it seems like he can only hold down a job if he’s also in danger of becoming manic. This time he’d only had a job for two months before he apparently started an affair with his boss and took off 1200 miles, driving overnight just like last time. When he called me (with the new girlfriend in the background) to tell me he wanted a divorce, I had no idea where he was. I only found out when a stranger called from another city saying she had found his cell phone.

    He called me the day before my surgery to tell me he knew he was wrong, wanted forgiveness. I suggested he could come back to our city but didn’t tell him he could come home to our house. He said he would be leaving there. Expressed sadness that I had always been there for him and now he was not there for me. He asked me not to divorce him. I helped him figure out how to get meds.

    Heard nothing until two weeks after the surgery. This time he had gotten the cable bill forwarded to him and was angry and accused me of not paying it. Didn’t even ask first. ME! The one who had taken care of him for YEARS and had paid every bill!!! He had called the company to cancel the service and was so hostile to me it was incredible. I asked him about his previous phone call and attitude and he told me I was delusional. He never even asked about the surgery. When I asked why I deserved such hostility he talked about how I took sole control of the bank accounts during his last episode and had kept it that way (so as not to go bankrupt.)

    There were symptoms of mania this time, but now I see that it was already too late by the time I was seeing the ones he let me see. I naively thought that it would never be this bad again..that we could manage his symptoms. Yeah, right. I’m not in his head…I only deal with what’s going on in there as a victim of the lies and treachery it produces. It has now been nearly a month with no word from him at all.

    I had such patience and love and hope. And now it’s all gone, except the love and pain that overwhelms me. I had to recover from major surgery with no help or care from my husband whom I had seen through so much in his life.

    We were trying to have children. I see now the pressures lining up and how it seems to have triggered his disease. But I tried to help him get help and he didn’t see his doctor or pursue it seriously.

    How can you live with the chaos when someone won’t face the reality of their illness and take the responsibility that only they can take even when not in the midst of mania?

  38. ME July 29, 2008 at 1:21 pm #

    oh gosh… he has left me… i don’t know how to bring him back… he is shopping around for new girls… i miss him so much… i feel worse than when we were married… back then i felt neglected… now i feel abandoned and betrayed… so much unloved… even though we still have some contact and he is friendly… i feel like nothing could ever make up for the pain and destruction he has caused and he doesn’t try to make up… it’s been 2 years… it makes no sense when i think of how much he used to love me. i miss him still every day… i used to be his cute girl and his wife… he used to call me a goddess… he adored me and wanted to protect me. now he acts like he doesn’t care and like he is happy without me and with his freedom… he felt so much pressure from being with me. i am damaged and hurt but i will hang in there… i’m strong but sometimes i just don’t know what to do. it just seems like something is wrong… like it wasn’t meant to go like this with the love we used to have for each other.

    • Pinu March 11, 2009 at 7:04 pm #

      I am so sorry!

      I totally understand because the man who I believed was the love of my life cut me out of his life in the most dreadful way. I am still struggling to understand if it was bipolar. He had told me that he had taken lithium and electronvulsive shock therapy for deep depression, but his behaviour with me, went so rapidly from love to cruelty that I suspect bipolar.
      After five months of love and friendship, with him calling me two or even three times a day, emailing and making dates for us to get together, he went to calling the police to get me off his property because I went over to his house after we had an argument over the fact that he had brought home a young, beautiful woman to sleep at his house. I was devastated by the fact that he called the police to get rid of me. This was supposed to be the guy who loved me as much as he loved his only son. That’s what he had told me. When I tried to call him several times to beg him to please call me and to fix things he screamed into the phone saying that if I ever called him again he would get a restraining order against me. It has been two and half months and he still hasn’t called me. I don’t believe he ever will. I am in so much pain. I totally understand how you are feeling. I am reading a lot about grieving and trying to piece my soul back together. I pray for you too. Let’s hope that things work out for us! We are good people. We deserve love, the true kind that forgives and never leaves.

  39. astrid December 23, 2008 at 5:23 am #

    All these, stories all so familiar.
    Well my husband moved out two weeks ago.
    says he has found a new partner,
    a woman he met overseas who works as a “hostess”
    he’s visited her a couple of times and skyp’s her.
    he wants an nstant divorce and…
    so this time i let him go, he has no job but found an apt somehow.
    I dont believe this woman has any real feeling for him.
    He can sink or swim. this time if he comes back it will be via the hospital to get detoxed and back on his meds.
    I love my husband but I need a break.

    I’m trying to do the tough love thing.
    am i right?

  40. stephanie January 14, 2009 at 5:08 pm #

    i have a husband who is bipolar also, who just recently ‘ran away’ and is still away. i needed to read this, i feel helpless, like there is no hope for us, but he will calm down, i know he loves me and just needs ‘space’ with his mania, but i also know that being alone with your mania is unhealthy because there is no one around to bring you back down..im afraid it will stretch much longer now that he is alone..

  41. stephanie January 14, 2009 at 5:35 pm #

    my question is…is will he come back?

  42. sarah January 21, 2009 at 7:50 pm #

    i am pregnant and due 15th of february,my partner has left me 4 times already.He was so happy when he found out i was pregnant but has not coped well,he left 4 months in and went into manic,drinking,excessive spending.He told me he didnt love me enough and that was that.I am devastated,xmas day he called me suicidal and asked for help and i was there for him,he said he loved me more than he could show and told me to look after our baby.i got him help and stayed 5 days,after which he told me he still didnt see a future for us.He has held me at a distance while he spent all his money and ignored buying baby clothes then said he doesnt love me and hes sorry.Now im waiting or my first baby to arrive and he is out arranging nights out and trips to rock festivals and partys,he would like to see her once a week and be at the labour but treats me like we were never close.I die inside every time i see him and dont know how i will raise our baby like this.Do they come back?I once said yes but now im scared he wont,he seems so sure of himself right now and im scared i lost the love of my life.

  43. stephanie January 22, 2009 at 1:20 pm #

    Sarah I cannot say he will be back for sure but he does love you. He is not himself right now. He is lost in an episode and needs to get the bipolar under control before he will be back. The love of your life is still in there somewhere and you can only do so much to bring him back out. you can encourage medicine, or encourage a hospital stay. just be understanding, i know being human it is difficult and with hormones and pregnancy it will be extremely difficult that he is not there for you. My husband is bipolar. I found this group DBSA-depression bipolar support alliance and find it extremely helpful. i go every week now. go to their website and find one near you ..it will be good for you. right now you need to take care of yourself.

  44. Jamie Joy February 9, 2009 at 12:55 am #

    My significant other runs away every January. This is his 5th annual run-away-athon. I am saying this lightly necause I have ralized that mania is beyond OUR control– WE are the mothers, lovers, girlfriends, wives, fiances. I love my guy, and I believe in him. He has been sober for A WHOLE YEAR– very active in AA. He ran away right before he got his annual chip last week. I know where he is. He is in a sober household with an AA friend who is male. Unfortunately the friend is quite naive and believes my guy “is sorting out relationship issues.” Of course, we had no issues, no argument. My guy was saying the same thing as the other guys/gals in these posts: “I cannot be in a relationship. It is too much pressure to spend time with you or see you.” The pressure is in his mind. I am a kind and loving, supportive significant other. I am proud of his acheivements in becoming sober, but it does hurt my heart every time he runs away. I am in counseling (and have been for a couple years) I have my own issues to deal with. Even though he comes home eventually every time, I still wonder if he is ok and when will he snap out of it. I just hope the depression that is inevitable will not be too hard on him. I am coping best as I can. And yes, I do wonder if I will see him again. After six years and six times I can only presume he will come back home.

  45. Jamie Joy February 11, 2009 at 1:34 am #

    I am considering leaving my significant other for good. I am tired of the cycles. I am tired of him running away when there is NOT a bad relationship or any pressure I can see at home. He is throwing away a wonderful life. He is also in another “personality” as he is diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder– formerly called Multiple Personality Disorder. If he doesn’t seek help and work on this when this cycle ends, I will truly end this relationship and try to heal from there.

  46. Jamie Joy February 21, 2009 at 7:28 pm #

    I have decided enough is enough. I must grow and help myself through my own issues. Dealing with him created a huge gap in my own progression. Not to mention, this person nickle and dimed me to death. I had nothing left over for me– monetarily and emotionally. I will recover well from and by making this decision.

    Family members came last night to deliver all his belongings to him. I had specifically asked NOT to know where he is living. I don’t want to be drawn into this situation by any means. Six years is enough of my life, my love to give to a person who shows so much disregard to me, and demands so much.

    I am working on my own anxiety disorders and PTSD. It is time to take care of me now. If he ever so chooses to help himself and seek help elsewhere, I’ll be happy for him, but I will never spend a day in another relationship with this person.

    He emotionally and financially sucked me dry. I have much to give, but will do so to people who will accept my love as enough, and give back in return.

    I cannot be the mother of my lover. I always encouraged his growth. He wanted a codependent relationship and I would not participate, so he moved on– regardless of this fugue syndrome. He has an IQ of over 150 and he has other support and possibilities for clinical help, as well.

    God bless him, but it is my turn now.

    I WILL SURVIVE AND BE BETTER FOR IT!!! PEOPLE ON HERE PLEASE KNOW YOU CAN LIVE WITHOUT THIS IN YOUR LIFE– YOU CAN DO IT IF I DID IT!!!!

    Love to all here who have posted.

  47. KLE March 10, 2009 at 10:01 pm #

    Wow, I soooo needed to stumble upon this web site. I had been dating someone for 2 years who was recently diagnosed with bipolar II. He was so charming at the beginning, acted like he really just wanted to be the savior of my life or something. He told me he loved me within the first month of being with me. He was going through a divorce when I met him. At first, I blamed all the emotional ups and downs on the divorce, but now that 2 years have gone by, it makes so much sense that he is bipolar. He breaks up with me out of nowhere, and then begs and pleads for me to take him back. I’ve seen this man cry more times that I’ve probably cried in my entire 33 years of life. Everytime he comes back he talks about us getting married, how much he loves me, etc. Then things start to go south. He would become emotionally distant. If I walked into his house and didn’t give him a hug right away, he would make an issue of it. Of course if he didn’t hug me right away, it was no big deal. He was always groping me and not really very sweet with his advances. Grabbing my butt, etc. Nothing that really turns a girlfriend on. I told him time and time again that this bothered me, but it’s almost like he never heard me. Everytime he broke up with me I would find out he was out that night with some other girl. He’s lied to me over and over and over again. Big and small lies. He exaggerates every story he tells and I always know most of it is made up. Uugh. Anyway, the most recent break up was this past weekend. He had been distant the few days before. I spent the night at his place on Tues. and Wed. nights, then Friday afternoon he said he has a sinus headache and asked me if I wanted to come over. I said I’d come over later that night and he said that should work. Well, I called him after I left the gym around 5:00 and he sounded like he was asleep. He said he was going to take a nap until 10:00 and then I could come over, but he said he would call when he woke up. I said “Well, I might just make plans to go out with the girls if you aren’t feeling well and are going to sleep that late.” He said no, please don’t, I will call. Did he call?? NO. Turns out, he went out with some other girl that night at 6:00, so totally pretended to be sleeping. I haven’t spoken with him since that Friday when I called. He hasn’t called or anything… which at this point, is just fine. I’m so emotionally worn out from this relationship, and don’t want to be married to someone like this. But, I must say, I am hurt by it. Not only am I someone who has been there for him through his divorce, got him into a therapist, and always dealing with his ups and downs, I’m also his business partner. Does he have absolutely no respect or feelings for me at all?? Was this entire relationship just a lie? It’s crazy to me. I’ve been through break ups before, and we usually talk them out. I have never just bailed on someone and stopped talking to them. Can someone help me make some sense of this? Did I really just waste 2 years on someone that I literally meant nothing to?

  48. Faith March 13, 2009 at 10:56 pm #

    My boyfriend is not diagnosed with BP but I know he has it. He leaves me frequently and comes back days later applogizing and wanting to see me. He abuses alcohol and drugs. He believes he is not worthy of me. But like many of you, I love him dearly even though I know his very second he is out there sleeping with someone else. When he is ready to return and talk, I believe I will take full advanatge about talking to him about this. I’ve been crying for days because I truly care about him so much even though he has told me to leave him alone and that I don’t exsist. I will try my very best to remain his friend and cut off all sexual ties in the name of love.

  49. Faith March 13, 2009 at 11:00 pm #

    Men with BP can you please let us who want to be there for you know what goes through your mind? my man in creative, smart, and sometimes I feel he can move the world. On other days he sleeps and can’t get up. He is constantly going on trips which we all know means he is screwing around.

  50. Raka April 14, 2009 at 4:10 am #

    First time to your blog. Must say, am really impressed!

  51. Beeba April 21, 2009 at 2:17 am #

    I am very glad to have stumbled upon this myself. I was in a 10 year relationship, and have suffered the same sense of loss as many of you…..with one less common distinction. I am the male in the relationship.

    I would like to post details of my story as well, but the last few days have been especially hard, as it marked our 10th anniversary, along with a very important personal milestone for myself that I really wish she could have been a part of.

    Just wanted to post a comment for now. It helps to not feel so alone in all of this.

    I will post as soon as I can.

    God bless!

  52. Beeba April 21, 2009 at 1:01 pm #

    By the way, any follow-ups? Any of you ever hear anything again? Seems these mania episodes can bring out just about anything…..unplanned pregnencies, shotgun weddings, etc. etc. Just curious if we’re ever even remembered anymore, or if the switch that flicks the emotions towards or against us is just turned off forever at some point.

  53. sarah May 17, 2009 at 8:54 am #

    Well Beeba my story is a sad one.Two weeks before i gave birth he told me he had me someone on the net,that he doesnt love me and hes sorry it ended this way.I gave birth to a baby girl and rang him and he was miles away with her and missed the birth by an hour.I was so hurt when my family told me he wasnt outside.wow.Well this relationship he said she was fantastic,wanted to move in after 3 weeks of knowing her,moved his stuff up there,then BAM they are over after 8 weeks after nonstop drama between us.He wouldnt even tell me why.He started asking me to come over with the baby and as he already has her one night a week he was seeing us loads.He kept saying how he enjoyed us together and he wasnt sure how he felt,it cant happen now but he wasnt saying not ever.So i was patient,stayed there with our baby 4 nights and he cuddled up to me and helped with night feeds,told me he was sorry he had made it so hard for me and he knew it wasnt easy doing it on my own.Then after us sleeping together and getting more like a family he hurt me again.He said he doesnt love me and to get over it,said us being a family is nice but that was all it was nice and that im just annoyed with him because he doesnt want me!I was so upset i told him i am done,i let my mum sort contact now and the last wk i have cut him off,at first he tried to upset me through my mum but now that hasnt worked hes told me he wants to come to our babies hospital apt,in my opinion he told me he didnt want to come,im thinking he knows we have to be in the same room then…..but maybe thats just my head playing tricks!It has been 8 months now and he has come back 3 times very briefly to me but never commiting and always telling me he doesnt love me after,once we were back together two weeks then i looked after him when he was suicidal at christmas,now again when he kept insisting we spent time as a family and asking me not to go home.I just dont understand it,someone please give me some insight to what is going on!does he really not love me i just dont know?HELP!He is now flirting online again with some girl,hes so highly sexed that he wont stay still for more than two minutes!I didnt think mania could last for 8 months and even if its truly making him say he doesnt love me,i wish i knew.Please reply to this message,im at my wits end with my 3 month old baby

  54. kelly May 26, 2009 at 10:01 pm #

    I know that i love him but I must admit, this is pushing me to the edge… I cannot take the mood swings yet I dont want to leave him… We have been together 10 yrs and I thought he was the one but… I must admit, I think I have a thick skin but all the verbal attacks are getting to me… Its like they seem cruder and thats what makes me fight back. I love him but I do not deserve the blame and Im glad he feels close enough to be himself with me but what the hell??? How can I be the blame for EVERYTHING??? I mean, not the blame but why does he think I can solve it all?
    I dotn even want to be near him right now.
    I just dont want to say the wrong thing but I resent him being the one I have to tip toe around

    • Pam June 30, 2009 at 9:07 pm #

      Kellly
      I know exactly how you feel. The least little thing sets my spouse off, and it is always my fault. Then he brings up every little thing in our past that I have ever done and compounds on it!! And of course, I am stupid. He can never be happy with me.. he would be better off with somebody else. He knows all this because the scriptures tell him that he shouldnt have to put up with anything. He wants a wife who simply bows down to him and doesnt speak her mind at all. And He has thrown away at least 6 or 7 wedding rings over the past 25 years. And……. I am the most faithful wife I know of; I don’t even look another man in the eyes when I have a conversation – but we can’t even go to church because I send off vibes to every man in the place that I want to have sex with them.
      I try to ignore all this so that I don’t give in to this disease and let is run our life. But instead of getting better, it gets harder and harder.

  55. Annabell Deschenes July 20, 2009 at 12:24 am #

    Hello Please read my comment someone I need help…. My husband was not diagnosed with bipolar but i know for sure he has it severly… I been with him for 3 years. We separated in 2 1/2 months ago due to fighting and agruing and jealously.To continue on every other week since these 2 months he has been saying its over and then we are together. 2 weeks ago he found a recent picture of a man that i cheated on with while me and my husband we dating. And he was mad but got over it. I also looked in his phone and seen several girl numbers in his phone but he said that they were just “friends”.As of now 6 days ago he called me up and spend the night over their and he was telling me how much he loved me, i was moving back soon, and that he hopes that im pregnant now. 2 days after that he says its over for good this time.. dont call me or anyhing anymore I dont wanna talk to you anymore…I really dont understand him at all its lik ean on going process so i decided to change my phone number on him. It seemed like he has interest in another girl.. but despite the fact that he keep saying how much he loved me and everything to days before.. I dont know if he gonna come back to me after he has cooled down or what… he is also always angry all the time and treats me like shit and calls me names constantly. A year ago he left for 2 weeks and came back. His dad did the same thing to his mom for years.. someone give me advice please i love him to death.

  56. sarah July 20, 2009 at 1:49 am #

    im in the same situation and please dont blame yourself,it really is the bipolar,read back over my posts and you will see.i have a 5 month old baby and he is unstable.Since my last posting he crashed,the promscuity and symptoms of mania have gone but the depression is just as bad.He came back to me and said he needed help,i took him to a doctor and he was waiting for referral,that was in may/june,he said he loved me and that he was sorry and he appreciated me.Now its june,the whole time he was numb and unaffectionate,he was always tired,cold,unfeeling and i was confused so we argued…alot.Now he has said we dont work and that i put it in his head that he needs halp,he said he doesnt have the energy to deal with the relationship and he has given up.He still says he loves me but he says we are over.He has isolated himself alot and has money and trouble at work.Does anyone know if this will change or is this my boyfriend?He says hes not sure if this is it for him but he says that we are over,he cried when i left and told him i still loved him but still maintains the cold dispostion that keeps us apart although he says he cares.This has been a 3 year rollercoaster and at the moment from his eyes its my fault and i needed to change,i told him he was in denial last night and he told me he doesnt care and so what if he is!he said he will deal with it in HIS way.If anyone would like to talk further i am always here x

    • hf August 30, 2009 at 4:57 am #

      Hi this sounds like my husband. we just got married and i guess he was hiding his bipolar until we moved in tother. Then he turned intoa completely different person. Isolated himself played video games and smoked weed literally all day and night, did not got to work. I am 11 weeks pregnant now and he calls me all kinds of names, puts me down, tells me he doesnt want me & to have an abortion_and then the next day he’ll take me to the beach and talk about how nice of a guy he is. Then he turns back into the mean man again. it never ends nice mean nice mean. its like 2 totally different people. I think i have to leave him. i dont want my baby being raised by this type of person. i just hope my baby doesnt inherit bipolar. Does anyone have any advice?

  57. sarah July 20, 2009 at 3:24 am #

    they do come back normally when the episode ends but it will happen over and over to answer your question until he gets diagnosis and meds.not an easy task may i add.He no doubt does love you but is alot like my bf and he says i push his buttons and get to him like noone can and another one is he cant get close to me because everyone else cant hurt him but i can.Very confusing,anyone help me understand that?

  58. kelly July 20, 2009 at 3:48 am #

    Om goodness… so sad to read these posts with people who go thru the same as I. Its so hard to open up to friends because they dont see why I stay and I sometimes wonder too. But, i know, when things are going well, he loves me… as much as he can and i WANT AND NEED someone to love me. I deserve it… dont I?

  59. sarah July 21, 2009 at 12:03 pm #

    be careful you arent codependent kelly,look that up on google and you might see why you put up with so much,i know im codependent but it wont help him if you dont recognise that and act on it,this is what i am trying to do.My partner went back to being manic last night,only mildly but i will keep everyone posted on what happens and if you would like to email and keep in contact it would be nice to have someone to talk to

  60. Tamara July 26, 2009 at 5:14 am #

    I have been married to an un medicated alchoholic bi-polar man for 1 year. Before we married he had hidden the fact that he drank more than socially. This sounds so cliche but, the moment we started sharing the same roof he changed. he criticizes everything I say to a point where it is ridiculous. If I speak of happy childhood memories. he says i should only live in the present. I am a former model and I am told by a lot of men I am very pretty. He loves this when they give him the thumbs up. Yet he critisizes my looks all the time. he says Im getting fat yet he cooks me gourmet meals and always brings me home a treat like ice-cream. he tells me he loves me. he tells me I am beautifull If I ask, but there is sex but no intamacy. I was divorced in 2003 and waited 4 years to even let anyone get close. It really sounds crazy but, it’s like he wooed me like prince charming to marry him. I was a single mom with an 11 year old child. It was a good thing that my daughter decided to go with daddy for a while. We share custody. Packing my Bags. Or should I

    • Becky September 22, 2009 at 1:26 pm #

      Tamara, I have been married for almost a year. My husband sounds like yours. I had a teen child from a prior relationship when I met him. My husband was charming and took on being a parent and a spouse. He was never married before. He convinced me that I was his soul mate. He is charming to everyone, and I mean everyone. All I heard when we were dating was how nice and wonderful a man he is. He was clean and sober for several years until the day we got engaged. He started drinking and then started binge drinking which has led to drug use. We went to counseling and the counselor is convinced that he is self-medicating his bipolar. He left me one month prior to our one year anniversary, telling me that I caused all the problems in our marriage and the arguments and that he cannot stand to be in this relationship. Quite frankly, we did argue at times, mostly instigated by him. But, I thought that we were simply getting through the newlywed ups and downs of getting to know one another and learing to problem solve. I was naive. Its been a rollercoaster and I don’t know whether he will come back. I am spending this time working on me- not trying to fix him or even worrying about him. Its hard but each day seems to get a little bit better. He needs detox and medication for bipolar. I know that he has the strength to get back on track as he has done so once before in his life. Its going to take him bottoming out to make that change. Until then, I’m keeping myself and my child safe and praying for him. I take my wedding vows very seriously and plan to stay married to him. I have set up a time frame for myself and if he doesn’t come back and choose to get clean and sober, I will have no choice bu to take the next step and consider divorce. In the meantime, keep your finances separate. You don’t need to complicate YOUR life with his problems and don’t let him bring YOU down with him. Like you, I waited a long time to get married and I feel as if I have the strength to keep my identity without letting him hurt me. Its the hardest thing in the world to be married to a bp with alcohol and drug issues. He bettered himself before and I am hopeful that he will do so again. Be tough and do what is best for YOU, not him. He has to change himself and you have no control over his behaviors.

      • gen September 12, 2012 at 11:39 pm #

        I know this is an older post. However, my situation is very similar to yours. Hehanged aftereotarried he is bp and drinks also. I have filed for divorce.

  61. kelly August 31, 2009 at 4:50 am #

    Hi there. O my goodness. He needs to get help or u have to leave… Do it for ur baby. the stress is no good for u and take it from someone who CANNOT bear a child, if U lose that baby from all the stress, U will never forgive him or urself.
    Best of luck and prayers and good vibes coming ur way from me to u

  62. kelly September 26, 2009 at 1:00 am #

    I wish i had the strength to leave him but there is so much going on… i have no one, Im alone, my mom is really sick with dementia and I have to have her placed in a skilled nursing facility… With her being sick, I dont burden her with my troubles so I hold them in which isnt good since Im eating to hide the pain but who the hell cares… fat is the least of my troubles. I have no where else to go, thank goodness we dont have children, I am unable to ebar a child.
    I hope when I get my mom situated, i can leave here… i love him and I will always worry about him but I want to leave. Im sick of being afraid and ashamed.
    To the person who posted right above my post, Im glad u are doing what u can to keep u and ur child safe.
    I wish u the best!

  63. sarah September 30, 2009 at 9:36 am #

    can anyone explain to me about bipolar?

    my partner is like a yoyo,he seemed to be depressed and now he is so detached and numb,he used to be so loving.I asked him if he loves me and he says he doesnt know and hes not sure of anything in his life anymore.He tld me hes sorry and its not me at all but its just how he feels and hes not sure if it will ever come back but we are over.He said he cant give me what i want and that we need to acccept that its over.Any ideas why hes gone so numb?He was manic and then crashed to this and now hes like an empty shell and i wish i could draw him out!hes totallly rational and devoid of emotion

  64. zuki October 5, 2009 at 7:43 am #

    When my husband is at home he is tormented by the question ‘what am I doing here?’. I’ve just started to think that he thinks this because he isn’t actually doing anything to help. We have two small children and if I seriously asked myself what I’m doing here my answer would be something like – preparing this, while sorting out that, something practical. Yes in the larger picture I would say looking after my children. So I say to him, if when you went to work, instead of actually doing anything you just sat there watching the other people working then pretty soon you would arrive at the exact same burning question, that inescapable ‘what am I doing here?’ My answer to his question, not much, that’s what!

  65. zuki October 5, 2009 at 8:27 pm #

    Sarah, I think the numb thing might be the emotional distancing – that was the first thing I noticed about my husband that was odd, he was really intimate and personal with me and then suddenly and oddly cold and quite different. Those times are among the scariest as I’ve never known anyone so cold. Its also one of my best indicators that he already had mental health problems before I met him because he once told me that his ex sometimes called him the ‘ice-man’. I gather from what I’ve read that it might be something to do with not being able to cope with emotions and so just shutting them all down, or perhaps them having burnt out. With my husband those phases come and go and I don’t think he ever really understands them or really remembers after.

  66. sarah October 5, 2009 at 10:11 pm #

    do they come back?i mean he seems to really believe it right now,i know hes changed back in the past but it seems so long this time and his words are so hurtful,i try to cut him off and he gets upset and contacts my friends to check how i am but still says he doesnt love me anymore,its head games and its hurting!I did wonder if some of these guys arent bipolar and are sociopaths instead,just a suggestion but i hope he truly is only bipolar,it would be awful to think he was actually devoid of all conscience and emotion.He seems so different to me now,does anyone know how long mania and depressive episodes can last?he seems to flick all over the place but it is worse during the winter from october to feb

  67. Trina October 10, 2009 at 3:43 pm #

    I’ve been with my husband for 10 years………We have made it through some very tough times……I think that if I wasn’t as strong as I am that we wouldn’t be together any more. It’s hard …….I wish I had someone I could talk to that is living this way….I keep it a secret……it’s hard having friends because he doesn’t like anyone that is in my circle…..so now that I have lost so many friends …he tells me that it’s too much pressure that I only have him for doing things……I have friends I could call……my old friends for one reason of another …..I cut ties with….I feel lonely….he has been disappearing lately…..found a new cell phone that people have the # but not me……he wants someone to watch us or something to spice things up…..I wish I had a normal life ……a husband that I could do things with………..we are loosing touch………….he said that he is stuggling with wanting to be single one min…..its such a cycle……..I’m tired! 3 kids…………………youngest is 3………I’m sad

    • Natashamamma February 22, 2014 at 3:40 pm #

      I see your post was years ago. My husband is in the middle of a several month manic episode. We’ve been married 11 years and if I were to tell some of the stories that we have been through, I would be locked up for staying 🙂 I love my husband, but am overwhelmed right now. He moved out two months ago and left me to take care of our four kids. He moved in with a woman who is not well herself. They are almost like mean pre-teen girls in the games they are playing. I don’t know how long this episode will last. While this is not the first time there has been someone to fuel his mania, it is the first time someone that is this sick is with him. I’m afraid she won’t let him go, even when he crashes. I am doing my best to love and take care of the kids. This is the first time they are old enough to understand what is going on and are devastated. I get that you can’t talk to people that do live this life, they don’t understand that this person is not the person that you know and love, but some stranger. What has happened since you posted those years ago?

  68. Trina October 10, 2009 at 3:44 pm #

    Are any of you in a spouse support group?

  69. umesh October 23, 2009 at 1:40 pm #

    my wife is bipolar…at least the psychiatrist had given her meds that are frequently given to treat the disease.
    What I’ve read here is also going on with us. We’re 13 years in the marriage but she has been this way for the last two years. She keeps running away. This happens 3-4 times/yr and we’re burnt out. I’ve two boys 8 and 11..and we’re all suffering. I’ve to juggle work their school etc. It’s really hard.
    I love her and have done everything to help her…even when she’s with us she is spaced out…not willing to take responsilbility…it’s so frustrating.
    Moreover, she does not want to take her meds…I’ve to tear my hair out..it’s hard…now she’s gone again.
    I’ve given up hope…I’ve one question: do people with BP ever get 100% better? She was not like that before. We (me and the kids) need to move on. The kids need stability, don’t they…I do love her but I can’t help her. Someone pls reply with some feedback.

    Best,
    Umesh

  70. tiffany November 5, 2009 at 3:26 pm #

    I too married a man who is Bipolar. Bipolar 1 with severe psychotic episodes. The only time in recent history that he was relaxed and mellow (and nice) was when he was taking both zypreza and lithium.
    He came home majorly depressed about a month agao… then got mad. He told me he didn’t love me anymore…. that I was the cause of his feelings and out of control behavior and that he was going to file for divorce.
    It came out of nowhere. Two days before we were planning a trip and speaking of buying a puppy for christmas.
    I am still in shock. Totally devastated. He tore me apart and now I have no idea what to do…..
    He won’t speak to me and his parents actually believe that I was so abusive to him that I caused him to go crazy.
    They have really stepped in and taken over and are really encouraging him to proceed with the divorce.
    I recently found out that he was very ill with an ex-girlfriend and was Baker acted twice….. and up and left her in a very similar manner.
    I am pissed and hurt but also very worried about his safety.

  71. KPC November 7, 2009 at 3:15 am #

    Hi all… am a husband of a bipolar wife. We are separated for 3 months now. I returned to the US because I was a full time caretaker of all domestic responsibilities I couldn’t work was going broke living off my savings. Worse I was totally ignorant about bipolar and took most of what happened personally. She a Mother who cannot care for her own child, I thought trying to rectify this as a condition of my moving to Argentina would help it lasted 3 weeks, before my little step daughter had to leave and go back to my wifes mothers to be raised by maids. I also went to AR to start a small business with her and to do so I needed her participation as my Spanish is mediocre and the business was natural skin care products so I couldn’t see how a tall tattooed guy not speaking the language well could do much in that on his own. I lived in fear of her suicide… I became so distraught I considered it myself. I am 6’4″ and she 5’4′ I was munched so many time in my face it was pathetic. I had given up everything in my life to move to AR. I am back in the US with almost nothing trying to get a new business started and looking at my options.
    I still Love the person even with bipolar. I know she needs medicine and treatment I know she is insightful at times she knows she is bipolar. Separated for 3 months we talked regularly the first 2 months then some things happened some issues of promiscuity which she denied and I got rather pissed about. I backed off and yes i did leave 3 months ago but I have always believed there is a way to live life and help her with this condition. Today is seems to be hypomania in full swing. 2 months into the separation she went from saying she was going to die because we are apart to not wanting to speak anymore or at last right now. I still have hope know well I need to take care of me…and still all I think about is my heartbreak and the confusion behind the idea of how she can change so rapidly. She says shes feeling “tranquil” now. I am going to hang in there for now my vows mean alot to me and she means alot to me my step daughter means alot to me… I accept this may return nothing and also that my hanging in to support may make a big difference to her one day. My hope is that Love and truth is and will play a critical role in both her and my own recovery. Thanks for listening…

  72. kelly November 9, 2009 at 5:37 pm #

    Wow… I USED to think that it was better to see that Im not alone when i read all these posts but all it really does is make me sadder… I mean, I LOVEd him and wanted what is best for him but, between the mood swings, the dependancy and his lack of respect for me or ANYTING that Would be normal or good for us, Im done. I want out of it before Im left all alone when he either dies or hurts me or someone else. I cannot let this change me but, Im afriad it has. I need to give an ultimatium but, I know where that will get me. ALONE

  73. Frasier November 20, 2009 at 5:22 pm #

    Hello,

    I have to tell you I love this article. It is so beautifully written.
    I’m in love and live with someone bipolar. It’s is really hard. Some times I just want to go away from her and live the simpler life I use to live before I met her.

    But I love her and I’ll stay beside her.

    Thank you for this article.

    Cheers.

  74. Ariadne December 1, 2009 at 5:40 pm #

    I happened upon this article and the comments while looking for an answer to my own questions about a mate who says he loves me but then just disappears….It is refreshing to know that I am not the only one trying to put these kinds of puzzle pieces together to figure out what works and what does not…

    Being with him has been the most beautiful and painful moments in my life….As a person who does not like to give up, it hurts terribly to know that there is nothing I can say or do to help him….I can love him, be there for him and hope for the best as times goes by but I cannot solve all of the issues that are within…

    I love him…miss him….wish he would find his way back to me…and yet I am tired of it….After 2 1/2 years I guess I expected more from someone who loves me….I deserve to be loved and respected….not ignored and left whenever the demons rise within….It is lonely being here alone, waiting and wondering…is he OK…is it time for me to go….

    Confused….but still love him…

    Ariadne

  75. David December 31, 2009 at 6:00 pm #

    In 2006 I was feeling more and more distant from my own wife and I was actively seeking physical attention. Life seemed like it could be BETTER elsewhere. I ran into an old female friend online we met for lunch. After all these years she was beautiful. What was I thinking? I’m married. She’s married. I tried to crub it right than and there and invited her family over for a BBQ. I kissed her secertly in the bedroom I shared with my then wife. We met again and again each time more secretive. However it didn’t take long for my wife to figure things out. We seperated September that same year. Me while my (friend) was divorcing her husband to her assertion with or with out me in the picture. MY marriage wasn’t a terrible one we fought, probably more to my own doing than anything else. Fast forward 2 years July 2oo9 I am hospitalized for attemping to commit suicide and placed on a 3 day hold. I am diagnosed Bi-polar and continueing to follow up with my doctors. I just can’t help wondering was the events of 2006 the beginings of what happened in 2009?? Or just a lonley man? I know I have hurt my ex-wife so deeply that she would never have me back or trust me again like that but apart of me still loves her. Instead of trying to work through my own demon. I ran. Even if she never were to read this I want her to know I am sorry…

  76. Jonathan January 7, 2010 at 10:46 pm #

    My bipolar wife ran away form home abandoing me and our son. It’s been 2 1/2 weeks with no communication on her part. Can anyone HELP!!!

    Here is the story.
    My wife and I have been together for over 12 yrs. We’ve been married for 10 of them and have a 10 year old son. When we were in high school she went to the hospital and was released after 2 weeks and diagnosed with bipolar disorder. They put her on Zoloft and Paxil. Some of the things she would do were…laugh a bunch and then lock herself in the bathroom for hours crying, get very aggressive and throw things at her family members, run away from home, try to commit suicide or talk about it, and go from loving to cold and just stare off. She saw how much I endured and talked of leaving me to save me from the pain and didn’t think she was worthy of my love. I however assured her that I was in it with her for the long haul. When they put her on her meds she turned into a zombie with no emotion or expression. So she decided after a couple of months to stop taking them. Once she did she appeared to be all better. Over the past 10 or 11 years the only things I saw that were of any concern was her going from very loving and affectionate to cold as ice, and when asked what was wrong she would either say nothing or that she was fine or the usual I don’t know response.

    Let’s fast forward to about 2 months ago.

    One thing I always admired about my wife is that she is very loyal and has always said that she could never be sexual of any kind with a person she did not love. I was her second (even in fooling around). So 2 months ago while she was sleeping she received a text message and I checked it. It was a filthy message from another guy I’ve never heard of and he lives states away and upon looking through the inbox there were about 30 messages from him talking very filthy and sexually explicit in them as well as a picture message of his erect penis and a couple of messages of him asking her for pics of herself. Her replies were that of pretty much just egging him on and playing along but not talking in the ways he was. So I woke her and confronted her asking who is this guy and she gave me a whole bunch of…”Who & What”. When she realized I had her phone she freaked out and keep coming at me to get her phone and I keep telling her to sit down and talk. Things got heated and she got hurt. (this was the first and last time that will ever happen on my part, I know it was wrong and that there is no excuse) She called the police and they came there and I had a 72 mandatory no contact with her. During those 72 hours she went one state over to her parents with our son. When the 72 hours were up. I contacted her and we talked and over the next week we stayed in contact and then she returned home the day before thanksgiving. The 1st night she was home few words were spoken on her part. Next 2 days we were talking and being civil and cuddling up on the couch. We started talking about our issues and I begged for forgiveness on my part of things and she did genuinely forgive me, however when we tried to talk about her wrongs she would shut down and not talk. One day I was questioning her about what and she did talk a little. They only met once at a concert, never anything physical, never had even talked on the phone only texted and when asked why she did it she replied “I don’t know”. Then I asked if she sent pics as well. She hesitated and said no. I could tell she was lying and asked again and she said she did. She said she sent a pic of her breasts and a pic of her vagina, This devastated me but I was willing to forgive. I explained to her that she had to let him know she was married and that he could never contact her again and she agreed but then when asked to do it she couldn’t. When asked why she replied “I don’t know” I asked if she had feelings for him and she said “no” but still could not do it yet and then shut down and would talk all night. The next day she was very cold and told me she did no know if she wanted to work it out, or if it was worth working it out or if she has even loved me in the past couple of years. This hurt much but I could tell she was being irrational and not being herself. So we decided we would go to marriage counseling to deal with these things. The next day she was sweet and playful and we started having sex again and did every day from there until she left again (a couple of weeks). About a week later she texted the guy and told him that she was married and to never contact her again. Things were going great and I saw her more loving and affectionate that I had seen in a long time. She also was saying that she truly did love me and was doing the sweetest things for me. Things were looking up. However she had not once apologized or asked for forgiveness for what she had done.

    I’m the kind of guy who likes to get to the bottom of things and find out the truth. So one night when she was out I texted this guy to find out what i could get out of him. He said she told him she was 24 when she is actually 29. He thought she was single and she did send him 2 pics but only of her breasts and not her vagina. So i was confused as to why she would lie and make it seem worse that it was (not that that still is not bad). When she got home I calmly asked her about this and told her that i contacted him. She freaked out and called her friend to pick her up and left. She would not answer my texts or calls at all. Mutual friends told me they Knew she was out drinking herself stupid. Even knowing I was working 2 jobs she would not come home to watch our son and I ended up losing one of them. The day before Christmas eve she texted me saying she was going to go to Chicago to her parents for Christmas and for our son’s Christmas break and that she was going to pick up her car and our son on Christmas eve and then go. That night She came in the house and I was in my office and she went to talk to our son. About a minute after she was here I realized it and went to talk to her. I just said “Honey, can we talk?” She responded with “F#CK YOU, GET THE F#CK OUT OF MY WAY!” and bolted out of the door and took her car never to be heard from since. She drove to Chicago on Christmas Eve night in the middle of a horrible ice storm. It’s been 2 1/2 weeks with no word. I’ve tried contacting her with no answer or replies back. She did not even call our son on Christmas. I’ve been told she has been drinking a lot while there. Tried talking to her family but they don’t want to get in the middle of it and are in denial that she is sick even though they saw it in full force in her high school years. I also found out from some of her friends that she has been for a while abusing the drug Adderall which is a amphetamine and that she will some times binge on it for days and not eat.

    I am very worried about, her, her health, our marriage, our child, our family, and our finances. She is the apple of my eye and the love of my life. When I said forever I meant forever, but the pain she is putting me and my son through is unbearable. A couple of days before she left we were talking about her mental health and she agreed that she should go see someone and possibly go on meds again, but this can’t happen till she comes back home. She is being destructive to herself, to our marriage, to our son, to our family, and to our finances.

    Does any one have any advice on how to snap her out of this or what it took for you or your bipolar loved one to snap out of it?

    Does anyone know how long it may take for her to come back or how long this behavior lasts till they cycle again?

    What should I do? What shouldn’t I do?

    What is the next step in the cycle? Will it be better or worse?

    I’m thinking of driving there this weekend to try and talk to her so that I am not out of sight out of mind and try and get her to come home and get help. Good idea or bad idea? What could I say or do if she does talk to me that will help?

    Or do I have to just wait and be patient?

    • Dennis March 23, 2010 at 3:43 pm #

      Jonathan,

      I have been in her shoes and don’t know how much this will help.

      I have made all the mistakes you say your wife has and please understand that she is not in control. All I can say is maybe you need to seek help so you can cope better then if she returns of you find her you will be more able to see thing how she sees them. Fear is a terrible thing and can drive us crazy at times but being bipolar it consumes me and I would say her to. I feel for her and hope she can find her way back home because I haven’t and it’s been a very long hard time.

      Best wishes and I hope your ordeal ends well

  77. sad/happy/NYState March 4, 2010 at 8:56 pm #

    It’s not just men who want to disappear, I have BP, Female, and I’ve wanted to run but resisted for the past 15 years. But I haven’t I’ve managed to keep my behaviour under control mostly, but not completely. I have no idea What am I searching for, not a clue. If my guy knew it would break his heart.

    Partly how I have avoided ‘run aways’ is by having controlled breaks, staying with a friend or member of the family for a few days or a week, but coming back refreshed and ready to carry on. But this last time, my guy said no to me going away, I was under mega stress, and at breaking point, what happened? A volcanic eruption! I ended up ODing and am in far worse a state than ever. The mini controlled run aways work for me, may not work for everyone but it has for me in the past, wish he understood it better. Wish I did too. It’s real nasty for everyone concerned. Best wishes to sufferers and sufferees.

    • Dennis March 23, 2010 at 3:50 pm #

      sounds great. The controlled runaways part. I don’t do as well. I self destruct about every day now to some degree.

      I do have a bad habit of changing everything I can. My wife is never serprised when she comes home to find I have moved everything in the house around. I do mean everything she has come home to find her livingroom is now her bedroom. God lover she never says a word just waits for the next moving day.

      Hope you can find your answer keep your head up, at some point the episode is over if you wait it out. And have someone who loves you enough to wait with you.

    • Stuck 2016 April 22, 2016 at 3:13 pm #

      HI Sad happy! I know it’s been sometime but I just found this post. Here is my story. I’d like to hear your view. It seems like he was doing what you were doing. Maybe you can offer me some insight.
      I discovered this forum a couple weeks ago I’m hoping to get some insight. After a 3 year on and off relationship with my BP boyfriend he called it quits about 6 weeks ago. He had “run away’ before in the course of our relationship after any arguments that had to with him treating me badly. If we got into an argument and it was his fault I had to forgive him quickly or else he’d be upset, depressed whatever. If it’s my mistake he runs. It started off that I wouldn’t hear back from him for 4-5 days. Then the next blow up he was gone for 25 days. This has been the longest. He’s been gone exactly 6 weeks this time.
      Flash forward to what caused this last argument. Let’s call this guy Danny. Danny had been blowing me off for the past week or so. Prior to that week he had been staying at my place almost every night. I had also gotten into the habit of loaning him money which had gotten to be another problem with him. In any case, he had a pattern as of recent of getting paid, paying me off and then ghosting me and come back 4 days later after his wallet was a lot lighter. I started to feel like he was using me.
      Mid March here the pattern continued, he got paid, paid me off and took me out to dinner on the 15th. After that he just kept blowing me off but this time he was acting a little more strange than usual when I spoke with him on the phone. He was asking me strange questions and it was almost felt like the conversation was staged. Like he was having our convo for the sake of the someone else that was in the room with him to hear. As bazaar as that sounds, it’s the best way I could describe it. Fake. I told him that when I was on the phone with him as well.
      I was sick of being the person that he wants to hang out with if he doesn’t do x, y z that night and I guess I hit my breaking point after 3 years on st. patricks day. I ended up going out and getting drinking with my friend’s bar that’s a bartender. I got upset because it seemed like he was blowing me off again so I ended up sending him a plethora of horrible text messages saying he was a loser and that he was just using me. He never responded. He never answered all 12 of my calls that I placed that night.
      Fine, the next morning I woke up pissed off and sent another text message telling him he can stay F****ed off. I then felt horrible the next day and realized that I need to tell him how I’m feeling so this doesn’t get out of control. I had to identify why and what it was that he was doing to get me angry in the first place. It turns out my trigger is him ignoring me then I emotionally drink to handle possible rejection. Great I identified my pattern. Then I then started to look up BP forums and felt like there was veil lifted. All the stories and the signs I could relate to. Almost everything I was getting mad at him for I ended up realizing are text book behaviors of bi-polar. Everything! From the watching hours of TV and never wanting to go out, breaking promises, not remembering conversations, gambling, his dreams with his dead best friend giving him messages, white lies for no reason, the pattern of disappearing after every “talk”, me always being the “friend” that he loves…just not that way…EVERYTHING! I felt horrible and sent him an email to say I’m sorry and to talk it out. He never replied. He eventually said he’d call me but never did.
      3 days after I sent that email still not response or call. I ended having the horrible idea after 4 glasses of champagne, that I’ll go to his apt (at 12am buzzed) to talk to him since I wasn’t getting through on cell. I had sent him more texts telling him I was in pain and just wanted to talk to him. I left and took an uber to his apt and saw a light on. I knocked and knocked and I was down right obnoxious expecting him to answer the door. Instead his roommate finally answered. She told me he was not there and shut the door. I didn’t believe her but left to go downstairs anyways. I knew what a complete coward and that he might actually be there, just be there and hiding in her room. I say this because he did a similar thing at my house once when my landlord came knocking at my door unannounced. He ran to my room in the dark and hid while I answered the door. I actually made fun of him because I thought it was so weird that he did that. I asked him what why he ran to my room when he heard the knock and he said you’d be surprised at how many women’s house I’ve been to where it’s their boyfriend or husband!???? Uhhhhh what? I just laughed it off cause it was hilarious that a grown man would do that to me but again just another red flag. Back to that night…
      Turned out my uber cancelled on me and I was stuck below their drive way with no battery. Awesome for me. I thought for some stupid reason that I could go back up and knock and his roommate would at least let me back in to at least plug in my phone with my charger (thanks a lot alcohol). STUPID IDEA> Of course she did not. I ended up getting a little juice and requested an uber before it shut down.
      Long story short his roommate had called the police because I was still downstairs waiting for my car. I found myself super embarrassed and really just so sad that I could let someone get me THAT angry …and knowing they are going for that reaction by ignoring me. This all happened in a matter of 14 days. I feel bad for going to his apt and disturbing his neighbor but on the other hand I almost feel like he asked for it by continually ignoring me. After reading so many other stories it seems all their relationships end with drama because they all run away or ignore. It’s really the worse thing and adult could do to someone they are romantically involved with. I’m not excusing my behavior but I know of much worse stories. I decided i’m not going to play into his BS. I decided I’d send text messages to him every now and then to see if he’d be open to talking but no responses, ever. I tried to downplay everything and say it really isn’t that big of deal we don’t even need to talk about it. No response.
      Finally I sent him a text saying I know he’s angry. I am too and he responded. He actually called! He told me that he was getting kicked out of his apt because I had come by that one night and caused a disturbance. He said that his roommate wanted to get a restraining order and the neighbors had 4 videos of me. (Likely this was his exaggerated twist) He said my actions were really embarrassing for him and he didn’t want to talk to me anymore. I ruined his safe place to live and it was my entire fault.
      I was actually shocked and didn’t know how to respond. I all the sudden felt horrible and was also wanted to just keep him on the phone to ask a few more questions, knowing that might be my last opportunity. He got upset and hung up on me.
      I called him back and we talked for 5 minutes. I told him he can’t blame me for getting kicked out of his apartment. I asked him if that was the REAL reason his roommate gave him to move out or was it that night or something else? He responded, “I know it is but she said it’s for a promotion but I know it’s because you told her I was bi-polar and she didn’t know”….(to flashback I’m almost positive that this was a lie. I remember having conversations with him about his roommates friend who has BP that got in an accident and they spoke openly about it. I asked if him then if his roommate knew about his BP and he said yes, I’m not sure which one is the the lie..that she did or didn’t know).

      He then hung up on me again. I of course frantically tried calling him back. I went back inside my apt and told my friend what he had told me. My friend said “I call bullsh**”. My friend said text him back and tell him you are not buying his BS. I started to think about it and I was like “you’re totally right” this shit is not my fault! I then texted him “I’m really sorry if my bad behavior impacted you but you can’t blame me for you having to move. If you don’t want to talk to me I get it”. Followed by “I don’t really believe much of what you say. Sound like more BS”. He called me back about 5 minutes after that text pissed off yelling at me and telling me to f*** off.

      He told me that everything was going wrong in his life splashed with “F You’s” in between it’s your fault and don’t ever ever speak to me again. I asked him why don’t’ you ask yourself how this situation even got me to that point…I asked why he ignored me. He stumbled over his words and said he wasn’t about to respond to someone who was so disrespectful to him. I asked him why he didn’t me when he said he would? He said I did and you didn’t pick up. Another lie. He said “I was going to tell you that I wanted to end things cause I needed space cause I wasn’t feeling it anymore.” I told him I never got a call and waited all night and why not leave a message? He said he just didn’t. I asked if he saw any of my texts saying how much pain I was in that night before I went to his apt. He said he saw them all and chose not to respond. I asked why and he couldn’t answer them. He said he was busy at a friend’s house.

      I asked him why he was acting so shady. He responded “that’s a whole different conversation” I responded back saying no it’s not. It’s this conversation if you really plan on not speaking with me again so what happened? He said he just wasn’t happy anymore and “wasn’t feeling it.” That he had grown to like me more as a friend and that he this is just what happens to him with everyone. I asked him if it was me and he said no, then he said yes, I really haven’t been into you for the past couple of months…followed by him saying “no that’s wrong I love you and you’re the most beautiful one I just don’t know what happened. My feelings changed”

      I asked him if there was someone else and he slightly paused and said “no, is that what you thought?” I said yes. He said, “no, there was no one else and I shouldn’t believe all those things in my head that I tell myself.” At that moment I was like “Is he for real right now?” I personally am almost certain there was someone else but whatever. He told me that he was really mad at me and just couldn’t be around me and that maybe after couple months we could hang out again and that he loved me.

      I was thinking to myself …WTF? A couple months? What makes you think I’m just gonna wait around for a couple months to hang out with a guy that’s broke most of the time and probably out on a love tour screwing anyone he can!! He told me after he found he had to leave his apt he had to call his friend to calm him down because he really wanted to hurt me. That honestly had me worried.

      He told me that all this was happening at the worst time because he was going back home (east coast) for a week and that he would be coming back to move his stuff and staying with friends etc. I told him I’d help him find a place and he said he wants nothing for me. He asked about my puppy and my daughter and then he said he was really mad but he really loves me and he doesn’t want to talk to me for now. I told him fine and hung up the phone. That was the last of it. I know as of right now he is on a plane back home today. I’m not even sure if I really believe any of it.

      I remember him telling me stories about (while we were together) about women just showing up at his work place confessing there love after a couple months of hooking up. The one thing he forgot to mention is he probably destroyed their lives and THAT’S why they were coming by his work! But I didn’t go there. I stayed away knowing he’d expect that of me and that I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. I also had relief in knowing that he’s so paranoid that I really didn’t actually have to do anything at all. I’m sure he was checking if every car that passed his work or apt was mine. Trust me, it wasn’t.

      I honestly think he’s using the getting kicked out of his apt story to kill two birds with one stone. This story allows him to break it off with me while making me think that he no longer lives there…thus no disruption ever again. I have to be kind of an idiot to fully believe anything he says. He went back home this week to east coast and comes back today. I’m hoping him being home will be a good thing and that he will be able to reflect on everything with out the distraction of his friends or his job.

      This time he had signs of depression prior to this last episode. I’m still trying to determine if it was in fact an episode or if he just ran away. In any case he cut contact off from me and it has been about 6 weeks. I’m pretty sure he is not going to do anything like hurt himself but I am worried that I he may not come back. I know somewhere in there my best friend is still there. I’m just wondering if this is actually the end?? At this point I am about $1200 deep in therapy.

  78. Dennis March 23, 2010 at 3:29 pm #

    I think I may have finally found people that may be able to give me some real insight.

    Please don’t judge me I don’t think it will help I have enough of that already.

    I am a self diagnosed Bipolar. I am so scared to get help.

    I was diagnosed as a teen but my father didn’t know how to deal with it so he did nothing.

    I am scared to get help because I have screwed up my life so much I don’t think I can fix it. About 15 years ago I felt the need to run as so common in my life looking back. I had and still have a wife that loves me thank god and children that try to understand. ( back on point ) I lost my job and had a tax return coming that I was to use to run, the problem started when I didn’t pay the bills and blew money I didn’t have so the need to run. I moved my family out of our home because I didn’t pay the rent. I moved us into a motel ready for the run. I ran out of money for that in no time. Meanwhile the IRS decided to wait on my refund so I had a decision to make in my mind so I made the decision to go to a local Lowes hardware and write bad checks for things I could sell on the street or to pawnshops to keep my family in our motel room and buy food.

    Anyway, when my taxes showed up we left , moved out of state, Five years later my wife really wanted to see her family again so I decided to move back. I had forgotten about the trouble.
    When we moved back I found within a few days I was in jail for those checks. At the time I tried to make the best of it and fix it. My mind felt clear, I went to court and the judge told me to pay restitution and court costs. I felt great.

    I got a good job and was paying the ordered $1100.00 or so to Lowes. 11 Months went by I was paying for so long.
    Problem, as most of you would guess I forgot to keep the paper trail of payments.

    I was offered a great job out of state and felt the need for change. I called Lowes to ask how much I still owed so I could pay it off but I was told they wanted more than the court ordered since I had no proof I had paid anything. Stress built quickly and I did panic in a big way. I ran to the new job.

    I got pulled over for a simple traffic ticket to find out I had a warrant out for me. They put me in jail to wait to be extradited to face the warrant. They didn’t come, after a week they let me out of jail. Now comes the problem My license was suspended in the state the warrant was in so I can’t get a license, I forgot about the court costs. didn’t pay them.
    Anyway tha warrant still exists as a fugitive they won’t come get me I have no job because of back round checks and no license, no money. This along with my other bad decissions have ruined my life. I am affraid to try to get help because of the legal issues and affraid of the warrant that is now another 10 years old on top of the fist 5 years. I have lost myself in all of this and being bipolar started it all.

    Please someone tell me how to fix this. It has driven me to suicidal attempts more times than I can count but I can’t get past the fear. I am so scared of what might happen that I will lose my family and in the end my life. I don’t know what to do and I hope maybe some one out there can help me see the way. Bipolar disorder has kept me trapped and lost in this world. WHAT DO I DO Please someone tell me before its to late.

  79. kelly May 4, 2010 at 1:09 am #

    I hear all of this and its so overwhelming to me. I have lived with my boyfriend of 10yrs and the bipolar is too much for me. I love him and I do feel bad but, its the lack of getting help that really does me in. I try to be strong, peaceful, the rock but, its unfair… I need some support too. I do want to elave but the guilt is too much for me to leave. I wish he would get some help instead if self medicating… its the easy way out and he knows that.
    I wish u all the best. This is tough

  80. Chrissy October 15, 2010 at 8:33 am #

    It’s astonishing to read all of your stories as mine is so damn similar to many of yours guys. I love a bipolar person desperately and I think he still loves me too deeply inside although he only said 2/3 times in the last 2 years but nothing more since last year, I will save you all the details as, as i said before, they’re so alike to the majority of yours but something I wanted to talk about is these “voices”; he judges whether to like people by the voices in his mind and the energies he perceives from them; he calls these voices either “them” or “entities”; he likes me and I’m still around because those voices also went into his dreams and made me appear as a beautiful bride but always standing on his left than rather on his right so things between us couldn’t work, because I should’ve stanted on his right to see everything going smoothly, he said. So he can only see me as a dear friend or as one his sisters he’s quite fond of; other women he liked, he stopped liking them because in his dreams he could see deformed and horrible and that showed him that they couldn’t be right for him neither because of all the internal workings these women have which made them appear so ugly. As far as he told me, he has never seen any woman beautiful in his dreams but me but still he needs to try them virtually and they all fall for him and he leaves them too. The thing is that it’s so hard to resist bipolar people because they are special and their brains go at 1000 miles an hour whereas ours go at 50 but at the same time you can’t stop loving them and keep riding from the moon and back to hell until you raise again. Has any of you had any experience regarding these “entities/them” who could help me to understand him better? A huge hug to you all!!!!!!!

  81. nancy May 24, 2011 at 11:09 pm #

    I have been married to someone who is bp and Manic for 14 years, we have been together for 22 yrs. My life with him has been a total rollercoaster ride, he was never married but I had 3 children from a previous marriage. I knew of his illness but kept it in check for a while, then it all started the spending, the paranoia, the distrust, the anger, resentment all of it combined. Long story short I will be losing my 2nd home because he just decided to leave me with no warning at all, now my home is going into foreclosure because he decided not to pay any of the bills. He was also controlling and very secretive, staying out all day into the night, and starting to makes threats to my son concerning me . He told my son he wanted to slit my throat. Now I have found out he was put into the hospital back in our hometown for walking around an Elementary School half naked. He has not spoken to me since he left, and I am fearful he will come back here before I have a chance to leave. He basically cleared out our bank account and I just lost my job because of the constant trauma he is putting me through. I pray he gets the help he needs but I can no longer live with this disease for the sake of my children and grandchildren, and most of all me. I WILL get through this but I know it will never be with him again.

  82. COLE July 2, 2011 at 5:36 pm #

    my exwife is bipolar and dissappears for days or weeks into drug houses and i think she turns tricks to pay for her crack
    after a week or two she collapses and ends up in the hospital with some strange aliment [severe infections pneaumonia etc] when she is hospitalized she is broken hearted and very repentive. the drs get her stable and she takes her meds regularly but when she comes home[ usually gone1-2wks running, 4-6 wks hospital] she is great for abot a week then runns again i feel like a bad person but i divouced her and will not allow her to come home for my sanity but i still care sadly every time the phone rings i expect to be told shes dead HELP!

  83. Johnny84 September 9, 2011 at 7:03 am #

    Hi all I think my wife could also b bipolar she left me 2 months ago kicked me and her 2 children out of her home and we have not heard from her since all we know is she is not talking to any of her friends or family is hanging around with younger people going out drinking getting in new relationships and is not worried about paying any bills she says she didn’t know who she was and that she was lost it’s her daughters 1st day at school next week why dosnt she care

  84. MS September 22, 2011 at 2:29 pm #

    Hey my situation not too disimilar – my ex partner left me four months ago saying she didnt know who she was and that she could not handle the pressure. I managed to keep in contact with her via e mail/tel whilst she went through her depressive phase (when she said she had lost feelings for me) then almost overnight her hypomanic/manic phase kicked in – she told me that she wanted other men, found me unnatractive, never loved me and would never be with me again. A few weeks later she called to say that she had been with another man (kissed) only to tell me a few days later she had slept with him. As if that wasnt heartbreaking enough she met with me in person (first time in four months) for a few hours (clearly looked spaced out/manic) and then ceased all contact after telling me to ‘leave her alone.’ Throughout this hypomanic phase she was also extremely hostile and angry toward sme at times – whilst out living it up with her friends (life and soul of the party) and maintaining regular contact with her family. I feel lie I am the only one that has been targeted by her moods and whilst I feel I am strong/have a thick skin I do not know what to do anymore. She is unmedicated and denies that anything is wrong with her – choosing iinstead to claim that I am the one who is ill and deluded. I want to hang in there until she levels out so that I can reason with her – but my hope and faith are waning fast…..

  85. No more! October 17, 2011 at 8:23 am #

    I’ve been with my bp man for eight years. I thought he was so in control of his bp that it was difficult me to see the signs. I only knew he was manic or depressed when he told me so. That’s how in control he seemed to be. We didn’t argue. We always considered each other’s feelings. He seemed responsible. But those signs became apparent in April 2011. He was taking Effexor and he abruptly tried to go cold turkey. One day, I came home from work and he was gone! I thought he probably was out with friends, but when I woke up the next morning and he wasn’t laying next to me, I panicked.

    I was a crying mess. I had no clue what was going on. I checked our bank account. He was spending money like crazy AND he purchased a Friendfinder account. I was devastated. Well fast-forward to October 2011. He left me again. At least this time he had the ‘decency’ to text me while I was at work to let me know he was traveling to California. California? We live on the East coast!

    He said he is making another attempt to get off the Effexor and the withdraw is severe. (horrifying nightmares, vertigo, excruciating pain, night sweats, sensations of electric shock.) He texted me to say that he loves me with all of his heart and he doesn’t want to be with anyone else but me (is he trying to fool me or is he trying to convince himself?) I got one of those online background checks on him. Apparently, he has moved 17 times before I met him. I’m still fuming over that FriendFinder account but I didn’t mention it.

    I can’t deal with this. Stability is very important to a woman. If he is unable to sustain a stable relationship with our family, than it’s up to me to be the stable one WITHOUT him. I am stacking up money right now to move in a downtown apartment. I’m not going to stand by and support someone who’s going to leave me again and again after 8 years of what was (or so I thought) a great relationship. But come to think of it. My woman’s intuition told me that he was hiding many things from me.

    I’m in the process of purging this man from my heart.He’s a sick man and many of the things he is doing is beyond his control. I realize that. He’s been secretive about something(s). Well he doesn’t have be secretive anymore. I “effing” quit! I can choose to be alone or in time I can get into another relationship with someone who is emotionally stable. I just can’t do this anymore. No more tears, no more fears, no more wasted years.

    • Hope August 6, 2012 at 12:45 am #

      I know exactly how you feel! I can relate so well to your story. My husband has not even tried to call me in eight weeks. This is the longest time he has ever left without contact. He planned this move for months-obvioiusly got a job in another town and bought a truck with the check he said he did not get the last month before he left. I have paid all of the bill, been a suportive, Christian wife to him for over 7 years and he has played me for a fool. He has drained me financially and emotionally. I do not even know where he is now. He has convinced his sick mother and his grown, adult children that I am the problem. I did all of the paper work for months to file a chapter 7 bankrupt on his business for debt he incurred years before I met him in his last relationship. I feel that he has a saved Christian heart, but is filled with numerous demons. The demons seem to be in control of him. The day he left I had a doctor’s appt. and he does not know if I am okay and does not care. For two years he did not have a job and I never nagged him about it. I have helped him in every way. He left the only job he has had for a whole year since we married. He said in his “dear john” letter he left for me to find that he had a job in another town, a vehicle, and everything he needs. He also let me know that he had been planning this leave for months and that he acted like everything was okay until he left. What a complete jerk. This is more to do with bad character and a coward than being bipolar, I think. I can not divorce him, because his mother or two children will not contact me or return a call from me. I would like to hear how someone feels about my situation. I am so sick of him leaving-3 months after Christmas last year. I did know that he was at his mother’s. He seems to want to come home when he hits bottom. This time is different, he has a vehicle. He left almost every other time on a race bicycle with a backpack. I appreciate any input.

  86. Kri October 8, 2012 at 4:38 am #

    But he won’t let me steer. He doesn’t want to be “saved”, he says. He won’t let me give. He won’t let me help. Where do I go from here? How do I help when someone refuses help? I don’t want to lose my husband but he insists on ending our marriage. How do I save us?

  87. Roland October 21, 2012 at 10:06 pm #

    We just got a Disvoice we’d of 20 years I tried fighting the demon off many times but now I’m home alone crying. And when I spoked to her on the phone she was doing the same. It’s over for us but I feel sorry if anybody else is going through the same thing

  88. tdubb October 24, 2012 at 5:13 pm #

    Well it’s been a while since I’ve had to comment on this site,but my boyfriend of 2 years has just ended our relationship just out of the blue. he has been diagnosed with bi-polar and pushes absolutely everyone he is close to away.He told me that it had absolutely nothing to do with me that I was an amazing girlfriend but he had to get himself right,that he was unhappy with himself and how he feels there for couldn’t make me happy.I have done everything for this man from help him with financial issues to just putting up with his rages. Now there is absolutely no contact nothing! He claims to love me and care about me deeply but would rather sit in his house alone than have me there to help him and yet the need to be with him is so great I can’t stand it. I’m completely and utterly heart broken,I want so bad for the phone to ring and it be him on the other end. he told me that he has come back before so he may very well come back again. My mind tells me to suck it up and move on but my heart says stay and fight! This is a horrible disease for anyone to have to suffer from but if he would just realize that I am here for him and will help him through anything to get better than maybe it wouldn’t be so hard on either one of us! I am lost and don’t know what to do anymore!

  89. Viola December 28, 2012 at 9:13 pm #

    It’s amazing for me to have a web page, which is good in favor of my knowledge. thanks admin

  90. nancy January 3, 2013 at 2:56 am #

    First of all,I want to thank dr khakani for what he has done for me, Am so happy today and i have stopped thinking. After my husband steve left me for another woman he said i was not good enough and that he hates me, i cried because i really loved steve with all my heart. Then i decided to come online and look for a spell caster to help me bring back steve, All they kept doing was to scam me off my money. Until God directed Dr khakani to me. At first when i met dr khakani i was thinking he also wants to scam me off my money, But he told me to give him a chance that what will he gain if he adds pain to my pain,That all he want his my happiness. So i decided to give him a chance, and he told me that steve will be back to my arms within 48hours,i said okay truly when dr khakani casted this spell my lover steve called me and said he wanted to tell me something i was shocked, He told me that i should forgive him, That he loves me with all his heart and promise never to leave me. Dr khakani also told me that ones steve comes back to me he is going to buy me a gift. Steve Bought me a Brand New Car, And i also had access to his account to prove to me that he will never leave me. You can contact dr khakani for help and he will never disappoint you. His email khakanibestsolutioncentre@gmail.com Or cell Number +2348062216903

    Name: Nancy betty

    Country: United kingdom

    • hole in the head January 29, 2013 at 4:13 pm #

      what about a person’s free will in matters sounds like witchcraft to me

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  93. joY May 22, 2013 at 12:30 pm #

    my life is full of joy because Dr nanadu asked me to be happy What happened to me is not what i can keep only to myself but to also tell the world so that those that were once like me will get there love ones back and been happy once again. I and my lover had some issues which leads to our break up since after then my life has never been the same i tried all method to get him back but they were just waste of effort and waste of time. But one day during my search on the internet i came across someone testimony about Dr.nanadu was able to bring back my lover within 48hours. With the great thing that happened in my life i decided to tell the whole world about this great man called Dr nanadu. For those in need of anything he told me that in his temple there is know impossibility now i believe him so much friends if you need help to bring back your ex lover kindly contact him via email: nanaduthegratespellcaster@yahoo.com And i promise you that your lover will definitely be back to you.

  94. stephanie June 5, 2013 at 5:27 pm #

    Good day, my name is stephanie and i would love to share a wonderful testimony. I was happily married for about Four years before my husband started messing up haven

    tried some spell casters i thought all hope were lost and i cried for a while before i was introduced to a prophet called Brian Carn by a friend of mine that helped

    put everything back in order by his special prayers and today we are still happily married so i want to use this media to challange anyone of you is is passing through

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  95. SHIRA June 10, 2013 at 6:39 am #

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  96. speck June 23, 2013 at 1:06 pm #

    My ex-boy dumped me 4 months ago after I accused him of seeing another woman and insulting him.I want her back in my life but she refused to have any contact with me. She changed her line and email address. I was so confuse and don’t know what to do. So I reach to the internet for help and I saw a testimonies of how a this powerful spell caster help them to get their ex back. So I contact the spell caster whose name is Dr trust and explain my problem to him and he cast a spell for me and assure me of 2days that my ex will return to me, and to my greatest surprise the Second day my ex came knocking at my door and i immediately pleaded and ask her to forgive me. I am so happy that my love is back again and not only that,i was awarded a contract of 5 Million Pound for 4 years. Once again thank you Dr trust,you are truly talented and gifted. Email: { SPELLCASTTEMPLE4@YAHOO.COM }. He is the only answer. He can be of great help and I will not stop publishing his good work because people are still talking about him on the Internet and Radio Stations.
    His Phone number is +2348156885231.
    My Name is speck
    Country : England

  97. joy June 24, 2013 at 2:41 pm #

    My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for six years now. We recently have been seeing a fertility specialist. We have done one IUI with no luck. My husband has a sperm count which goes up and down,(the doctor has recommended him taking the Proceed supplement which he is doing going on the second month now. He also has low motility and morphology. The fertility treatments are already getting so expensive, we may have to stop real soon. The doctor has recommended that we I take injections of HMG to bring on overvaluation, followed by another IUI. (IVF is totally out of the question because of the expense. Getting to my question now, How is this going to help or will this be effective when it’s my husband who has low sperm count? It just seems to me that if the sperm are unable to…to contacts now .moosaspiritualtemple@gmail.com
    fertilize the egg it will not matter how many are produced. I am was so confused until i contacted this powerful spell caster called moosa ALOMAJESELE who help me with his oracle spell which he obtained from his father who he always called ALOMA, i was help by his spell powers to conceive and now i am gave birth to a bouncing baby boy called LENNIS WART, we are happily settled in our family and glad to have this spell caster as our father, thank you SIR moosa ALOMAJESELE for helping me get pregnant, you can reach him now at
    moosaspiritualtemple@gmail.com

  98. lilian July 5, 2013 at 7:59 pm #

    My name is miss Lilian am giving a testimony on how a spell caster has
    bring back my ex boy friend. I meant a friend who directed me to jakula at the internet who help people to solve their problem, then i
    explain my problem to Prophet Jakula he said i should not worry about that,
    that i should give he 2days for him to caster a spell after that 2days my
    ex boy friend called me on my officer line then he started begging. That is
    how my ex boy friend came back to me please contact prophetjakula@gmail.com.
    …..Lilian

  99. Faith Steven July 6, 2013 at 7:32 am #

    My Name is faith, I wish to share my testimonies with the general public about what this man called Dr Moko has just done for me , this man has just brought back my lost Ex husband to me with his great spell, i was married to this man called Steven we were together for a long time and we loved our self’s but when i was unable to give he a child for 2 years he left me and told me he can’t continue anymore then i was now looking for ways to get him back until a friend of mine told me about this man and gave his contact email (mokospellcaster@gmail.com) then you won’t believe this when i contacted this man on my problems he prepared this spell cast and bring my lost husband back, and after a month i miss my month and go for a test and the result stated am pregnant am happy today am a mother of a baby girl, thank you once again the great Dr Moko for what you have done for me, if you are out there passing through this same kind of problems you can contact he today on his mail (mokospellcaster@gmail.com ) and he will also help you as well.”

    • Sharron Jenna July 17, 2013 at 6:22 pm #

      After being in relationship with my husband for nine years,he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that never believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I mailed the spell caster, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email is (LAVENDERLOVESPELL@YAHOO.COM } tel.+2347053977842) you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or anything.

  100. Prince Larry July 22, 2013 at 3:23 am #

    my ex-boyfriend dumped me 8 months ago after I caught him of having an affair with someone else and insulting him. I want him back in my life but he refuse to have any contact with me. I was so confuse and don’t know what to do, so I visited the INTERNET for help and I saw a testimony on how a spell caster help them to get their ex back so I contact the spell caster and explain my problems to him….. he cast a spell for me and assure me of 3 days that my ex will return to me and to my greatest surprise the third day my peter came knocking on my door and beg for forgiveness. I am so happy that my love is back again and not only that, we are about to get married. Once again thank you Dr Trust spell, you are truly talented and gifted contact his email: ULTIMATESPELLCAST@GMAIL.COM

  101. Marcus July 29, 2013 at 8:16 pm #

    Before I went to Las Vegas last winter, I came across your website and Dr. Imongire Money spell. I thought, what the heck! Maybe I’d get lucky. I won more money this time around than I’d ever won before. It was like a miracle. I’ll never go back to Vegas without getting one of Dr. Imongire money spells. Sincerely, Try and you can also get lucky my friends out there, contact him via: Ominighospelltempletemple@gmail.com

  102. vice August 1, 2013 at 2:53 am #

    First of all, Am just short of words i don’t know what to say, am so grateful to Dr egbenakue for what he has done for me. At first i thought he was a scam like two others that i worked with, but i just decided to contact him then he told me that my lover will be back home within 4days. When the 4 days completed my husband called me and said he was sorry for the frequent argument and fight, i was so happy that my husband who left me for over 2 years called me. Now we are together he can’t do without me, he always wants me to be by his side and he just bought me a new car. If you want to contact him for help, his email is egbenakhuespelltemple@gmai

  103. Bradley Speck August 15, 2013 at 6:35 pm #

    After 8 months relationship with my boyfriend, he changed suddenly and stopped contacting me regularly, he would come up with excuses of not seeing me all the time. He stopped answering my calls and my sms and he stopped seeing me regularly. I then started catching him with different girls friends several times but every time he would say that he love me and that he needed some time to think about our relationship. But after l contacted Dr. TRUST of spell cast temple he cast a love spell and after a day, my boyfriend started contacting me regularly and we moved in together after a few months and he was more open to me than before and he started spending more time with me than his friends. We eventually got married and we now have been married happily for 3 years with a son. Ever since Dr. TRUST of ULTIMATESPELLCAST@GMAIL.COM helped me, my partner is very stable, faithful and closer to me than before. My Facebook address is paul kite

  104. vice August 16, 2013 at 7:23 pm #

    First of all, Am just short of words i don’t know what to say, am so grateful to Dr egbenakhue for what he has done for me. At first i thought he was a scam like two others that i worked with, but i just decided to contact him then he told me that my lover will be back home within 4days. When the 4 days completed my husband called me and said he was sorry for the frequent argument and fight, i was so happy that my husband who left me for over 2 years called me. Now we are together he can’t do without me, he always wants me to be by his side and he just bought me a new car. If you want to contact him for help, his email is egbenakhuespelltemple@gmail.com

  105. miline August 16, 2013 at 7:24 pm #

    It is really amazing! I contacted you in regards of my lover. He no longer wanted to associate with me anymore. He was interested in working out his marriage, after begging and pleading with him I realized it was out of my hands, he really was leaving me. My co-worker went threw a similar situation and she told me that you had helped her. I cant say how much I’m grateful she introduced me to you. After discussing the resolution with you, your getting your lover back spell has done more than what I expected. My lover not only came back to me,but he has left his wife and now were are engaged, we are getting married next year, I don’t know what I would have done without you. I believe you are my guardian angel.if you need his help contact email address dr egbenakhuespelltimpell@gmail.com

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  107. stephen September 11, 2013 at 12:45 pm #

    My testimony.
    My name is stephen Nelson, i’ve from zibabwe but i’ve being in USA for years. I never believe in any spell caster untill my lover treated me so bad, i never knew the reason why he was doing all that untill a friend of mine take me to a spell home which is Dr, ojogun the spell caster, and the dr told me that it was another female that cast a spell on my lover, and he sald he can revices the spell back to the sender.I never believe in him untill he finally did it and my lover came back to me with an apology that he never knew what he was doing. If you want him to help you bring your lover back, your husband and your ex, you can contact him with this email adress drojogunspellhome@gmail.com

    • stephen September 11, 2013 at 12:46 pm #

      Wow am so excited that Dr, ojogun the powerful
      spell caster brought my ex lover back to me within
      2days after leaving me for the past 6months I was
      frustrated until I met Dr, ojogun who help me to cast
      a spell that brought her back after telling me that
      there will be some items needed which I decide to try and to my great surprise it work for me and
      now am so happy and my ex lover has just bought
      me a brown new car which he has never done
      before thank you very much Dr, ojogun for what
      you have done for and if you need help like me
      contact him on email drojogunspellhome@gmail.com and all your problem will be solved once and for all

  108. Ann Bennet October 5, 2013 at 6:35 pm #

    I am Ann Bennet from UK I want testify of how i got my ex back; ever since we had misunderstanding he hasn’t been calling me and i tried calling him but often do bounce my calls till my friend told me about a spell caster in the internet Dr Oduduwa who casts spells on diverse kind of issues like; getting back your ex, making your business grow fast, life success, prosperity spell etc. When i contacted him, he told me he needs to do some rituals on my own and and cast a reunion spell on him that after a week 7 days my ex guy came begging for mercy… Am so happy! Visit Dr Oduduwa at fatheroduduwaspellcaster@gmail.com now! This isn’t a scam i thought it was before but now am a testimonial you can experience d same… Wish you the best and Goodluck!!

  109. vivian October 21, 2013 at 4:52 am #

    I dont just know how to say this, am just short of words and over happy for what this great man has done for me , at first i taught DR.ORIABURE will not be able to help me, but the way he acted he acted like a man that has feelings and not ready to add pain to pain like other fake spell caster do online, when i told DR.ORIABURE problem he just told me that every thing will be okay within 48hours and that my husband will come back to me and beg me for his mistake, i was happy and doubting so i decided to give DR.ORIABURE a try, and DR.ORIABURE did not fail really the 48hours completed my lover call me and beg me for forgiveness and promised me that he will never live me for another woman, DR.ORIABURE thank you very much i will always praise your name for what you have done,please if you need help contact via :templeofemahama@gmail.com or +2348071906431

  110. JAMES October 25, 2013 at 7:17 am #

    I NEVER BELIEVED IN LOVE SPELLS UNTIL I MET THIS WORLD’S TOP SPELL CASTER. HE IS REALLY POWERFUL AND COULD HELP CAST SPELLS TO BRING BACK ONE’S GONE,LOST,MISBEHAVING LOVER AND MAGIC MONEY SPELL OR SPELL FOR A GOOD JOB.I’M NOW HAPPY & A LIVING TESTIMONY COS THE WOMAN I HAD WANTED TO MARRY LEFT ME 2 WEEKS BEFORE OUR WEDDING AND MY LIFE WAS UPSIDE DOWN COS OUR RELATIONSHIP HAS BEEN ON FOR 2YEARS… I REALLY LOVED HIM, BUT HIS MOTHER WAS AGAINST US AND HE HAD NO GOOD PAYING JOB. SO WHEN I MET THIS SPELL CASTER, I TOLD HIM WHAT HAPPENED AND EXPLAINED THE SITUATION OF THINGS TO HIM..AT FIRST I WAS UNDECIDED,SKEPTICAL AND DOUBTFUL, BUT I JUST GAVE IT A TRY. AND IN 7 DAYS WHEN I RETURNED TO USA, MY GIRLFRIEND(NOW WIFE) CALLED ME BY HERSELF AND CAME TO ME APOLOGIZING THAT EVERYTHING HAD BEEN SETTLED WITH HIS MOM AND FAMILY AND SHE GOT A NEW JOB INTERVIEW SO WE SHOULD GET MARRIED..I DIDN’T BELIEVE IT COS THE SPELL CASTER ONLY ASKED FOR MY NAME AND MY GIRLFRIENDS NAME AND ALL I WANTED HIM TO DO… WELL WE ARE HAPPILY MARRIED NOW AND WE ARE EXPECTING OUR LITTLE KID,AND MY WIFE ALSO GOT THE NEW JOB AND OUR LIVES BECAME MUCH BETTER. IN CASE ANYONE NEEDS THE SPELL CASTER FOR SOME HELP, HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS;okutemple@hotmail.com ……HOPE HE HELPS YOU OUT OUR OPPORTUNITY … CONTACT THIS GREAT SPELL CASTER VIA EMAIL:okutemple@hotmail.com

  111. jenny November 2, 2013 at 11:13 am #

    I had a very hard time believing in love magic spells so i felt strange even clicking on any spell site. The term love spells seemed silly to me normally but after

    seeing Doctor agba’s e-mail on a trusted blog, it made a great deal of sense. I literally thought there was no way I could have my lover back. Well, after contacting

    Doctor agba he gave me a lot of confidence and told me he would help me bring back the man I thought I had lost forever in just 48 hours. It was very surprising how my

    lover started calling me to tell me how much he missed and can’t live without me after Doctor agba had helped me cast a very powerful spell. I count myself very lucky

    to have ever found Doctor agba’s mail and to have even had the courage of contacting him for help.Doctor agba didn’t tell me exactly what I wanted to hear like 99% of

    other spell casters will do. He was very sincere with me, this was what really shocked me and made me believe he was real. Thank you so much Doctor agba for your

    marvelous work. His e-mail is;agbaspellhome@live.com just so maybe you need a good and sincere spell caster

  112. Mr DANIEL ROTH November 4, 2013 at 7:52 pm #

    Mr DANIEL ROTH

    I got married in 2009 and since then we had no children. Due to this and several other reasons, me and my spouse were always quarreling and fighting and I was regretting seriously ever getting into that marriage. I believed that something spiritual was affecting my marriage and I later confirm with the belief that a spiritual husband was involved somewhere. By this time, my marriage was on the verge of collapse. But when I say a testimony about one D.RRIVERSHEBALIST spell caster on the internet so he told me the problem is over after the spell have be cast, my understanding / mindset started changing, especially when I got the reading and the casting was completed : Spiritual Warfare, Back to Sender ;revolutionized my mindset and whole – being. I then called my wife and reconciled with her. I taught her what I learnt from the spell caster D.RRIVERSHEBALIST and your messages and now the result is a happy marriage. There is now peace in my home and my business has been revived. My wife is finally pregnant and we are expecting our first baby with joy.HELP ME To THANK D.RRIVERSHEBALIST for the joy and happiness he brought to my life.contact him via:d.rrivershebalisthome@
    gmail.com

  113. Owen Chloe November 18, 2013 at 3:26 am #

    My name is Owen Chloe from United Kingdom I never believed in love spells or magic until i met this spell caster once when i went to Africa in February this year on a business summit. I meant a man who’s name is DR.ROBIN he is really powerful and could help cast spells to bring back one’s gone, lost, misbehaving lover and magic money spell or spell for a good job or luck spell .I’m now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 3 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 4 years. I really loved him, but his mother was against us and he had no good paying job. So when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him. At first i was undecided, skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. And in 7 days when i returned to Canada, my boyfriend (now husband) called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married. I didn’t believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do. Well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid, and my husband also got the new job and our lives became much better. His email is robinhealinghome@yahoo.com

  114. Vivian Heather December 11, 2013 at 5:00 am #

    Thanks to this great man of spirit called Dr UNOKO which I don’t know how to thank him for the good work he has Don for me and family which I want to share my testimony with to you all so I was married to Hassan and my name is Asia for six years now he left me with two kids with know reason which I don’t know what to do so one day i was in my friends place when I exposed my pain to her about my depression which I have be looking for who to help me out of it then my friend called me closer to her self telling me on how she got this great man of spirit who helped her found her way to get her husband back then I ask of his contact she quickly go and get her computer and gave me his Email ID and his number so,that is how I contacted him for a help. And now am so happy with my family and with a happy home if you are in such pain kindly Via Email DR.UNOKOSPELLTEMPLE30@GMAIL.COM or call +2348103508204 have faith in him and he will help you
    Asia

  115. Nicole Betty December 15, 2013 at 10:08 pm #

    my ex-boyfriend dumped me 5 months ago after I caught him of having an affair with someone else and insulting him. I want him back in my life but he refuse to have any contact with me. I was so confuse and don’t know what to do, so I visited the internet for help and I saw a testimony on how a spell caster (Dr OKAYA) help them to get their ex back so I contact the spell caster (DR OKAYA) and explain my problems to him….. he cast a spell for me and assure me of 3 days that my ex will return to me and to my greatest surprise the third day my boyfriend came knocking on my door and beg for forgiveness. I am so happy that my love is back again and not only that, we are about to get married. Once again thank you for helping me to get my love back and your love spell is truely perfect, you are truly talented and gifted i will continue to publish your name on the net because of the good work you are doing.If you need his help contact him now through his email: OKAYASPELLHELP@GMAIL.COM .He also specialize on all kind of spell such as:

    1 LOVE SPELL
    2 WIN EX BACK
    3 FRUIT OF THE WOMB
    4 PROMOTION SPELL
    5 PROTECTION SPELL
    6 BUSINESS SPELL
    7 GOOD JOB SPELL
    8 LOTTERY SPELL

    YOU CAN CONTACT HIM NOW AND GET YOUR PROBLEM SOLVED email: OKAYASPELLHELP@GMAIL.COM

    • TRACY December 31, 2013 at 2:09 am #

      My Name is Ms. Tracy Smith, I was married to my husband for 13 years and we were both bless with three children, living together as one love, until 2009 when things was no longer the way the was [when he lost his job]. But when he later gets a new job 6 months after, he stated sleeping outside our matrimonial home. Only for me to find out that he was having an affair with the lady that gave he the job. since that day, when i called him, he don’t longer pick up my calls and he nothing since to come out good. Yet my husbands just still keep on seeing the lady. Until I met a very good friend of my who was also having a similar problem, who introduced me to a very good love spell caster. But i told her that if it has to do with things that i am not interested, but she said that it has nothing to do with pay first. but the only thing he was ask to do was just to go and buy the items to cast the spell, and that was what she did. And she gave me the spell caster e-mail address and phone number. When i contacted him, i was so surprise when he said that if i have the faith that i will get my husband back in the nest three [3] day, and off which it was really so. but i was so shock that i did not pay any thing to Dr.obadam, but my husband was on his knells begging me and the children for forgiveness. This testimony is just the price i have to pay. This man obadam is good and he is the author of my happiness. His e-mail address obadamtemple gmail.com

  116. Angelica Londos January 18, 2014 at 11:06 pm #

    Hello
    My name is Mrs Angelica Londos from united states Daly city ca, i am married with two kids. Life has been a misery for me and my kids for over six years when my husband dumped me for his new mistress due to some minor misunderstanding that we had.
    So he engage in a fight with me and throw me out of the house, so all through these sorrowful period of my life, i have been in pain. So one day, as i was browsing through the internet, i came across many post about spell casters testifying how they were helped by them so i decided to seek help and advice. but naturally i didn’t believe in spells or magic powers but due to the fact that i was deeply in love with my husband, i decided to go for a try, So i came in contact with Dr. Aire of drairesolutioncenter@gmail.com but before i contact Dr. Aire, i was scammed by alot of spell casters who makes me believe that they can help me. So because of all these, i almost lost hope that i can’t get my husband back anymore so when i contacted this Dr. Aire, he assure me that he will help me to reunite my marriage, so without demanding any single cent from me, he did a spell for me and he advice me to wait for just 24 hours. I actually waited as he said, so when it was 24 hours after he did the spell, my husband actually called me on my mobile phone and started apologizing for everything that he had caused me and the kids. This was how my marriage was reunited again and Starting from this point till date, i and my husband has been living peacefully and happily. Anybody viewing this testimony should please stop by and read and if you are so interested in contacting Dr. Aire for any help, simply do that via his email id (drairesolutioncenter@gmail.com) and remain happy.
    Thanks.

  117. Itua Blssinge January 30, 2014 at 8:52 pm #

    My name is Ruiz from UK I have to give this miraculous testimony, which is so unbelievable until now. I had a problem with my Ex husband 2years ago, which lead to our break up. when he broke up with me, I was not my self again, i felt so empty inside me, my love and financial situation became worst, until a close friend of mine Lucy told me about a spell caster who helped her in the same problem too his name is Dr olori. I email Dr olori the spell caster and i told him my problem and i did what he asked of me, to cut the long story short. Before i knew what was happening my husband gave me a call and told me that he was coming back to me in just 2days and was so happy to have him back to me. We have two kids together and we are happy with ourselves. Thanks to Dr olori for saving my relationship and for also saving others own too. continue your good work, If you are interested to contact him and testify this blessings like me, the great spell caster email address is (drolorispiritualtemple@gmail.com) you are the best among all the spell caster online I hope you see my testimonies and also pray for my family too

  118. Maris williams February 18, 2014 at 8:22 pm #

    Great thanks to Priest Korofo who help me bring back my ex boyfriend…

    My name is Maris, am from London i was in love with a guy called Jermaine will both love each other very much, to cut the story short something happen and he left me for another woman, i love him so much that i always want to be with him, he left me just because i refuse to come to his house when he asked me to come, i beg him to come back but he refuse i tried all my possible best to get him but the more i try is the more i lose him, so i have know choice than to contact a spell caster this was really bad almost all the spell casters scam me and collected my money this was very serious so i contacted one again and i said to my self how long will i continue to be losing money that i don’t even have, but when i contacted this email address called greatkorofosolutionhome@gmail.com i told him everything about my boyfriend and how i lost my money he felt pity he was ready to help me he told me that my boyfriend will come back to me and he will be with me forever so i did not trust him when he was telling me, all i thought was that he want to also scam me and collect my money but i just give him a try and it was my last bus stop, i do all the necessary thing he told me to do after then i ask when is he coming back he said i should just relays and wait so i do but i was very panicky in 24 hours time he called me on phone and was begging me to let her come back i accepted her immediately because i love him so much, what would i have done if not for this man, he have prove that not all the spell caster are scam and Haox, he is a real man, so that is how i got my ex boyfriend back.
    Am telling you all out their if there is anybody who can help you is no other person than Priest Korofo his email address is (greatkorofosolutionhome@gmail.com) or you can simply go through his website on http://greatkorofosolutionhome.webs.com he have help so many people i have benefit from it myself and this is the time you will also benefit from him know matter what the problem is and if you are contacting him, tell him your problems and he we be ready to help you.

    Thank you so much Priest Korofo.

  119. sarah February 24, 2014 at 8:57 am #

    I want to say thanks once again to this great man called Dr Unoko and his spiritual way of helping people am Sarah Jude from Japan i lives in USA with my husband we love each other and also he care about me always look forward to make things easy for both of us 9 years after our wedding, we both work harder to make a family greatest surprise, we have a kid after some times again, we have another one so with this, we live in peace and he was so honest to me shortly, he started misbehaving that i don’t know what is going on then i asked him. Darling what is going on? you are so strange to me this few days hope i have not offended you? he said no. Not knowing he have and affair with one lady out side who promised him a car an apartment in one estate were i cannot see him also when he cannot see me i manage to stay with him pleading him he should forgive me if have wrong to him he started complaining he has no money that he has lost all his money in his business that he needs some money then i asked him how much is this money you are looking for? he did not know i can afford it. Then, he said $14,000USD i promised him i we give it to him just for him to care about his family. My greatest surprise, the next day, i went to work and our two kids were in school not knowing his going to leave the house before i come’s back i met some of his things outside i was waiting for him to come back he never come back i cried i miss him so much and he have taking all my money away i was only left with $800USD. One day, as i was ready a blog i saw a testifier made by someone in Australia called Julie telling people about how this man call Dr Unoko helped her and the man’s contact email was there and his mobile number then i contacted him for a help and really, he brought back my husband now am so happy my brothers and sister if you are in such relationship problem kindly via Email {dr.unokospelltemple30@gmail.com} or call +2348103508204 he we help you solve all your problems Sarah

  120. janet April 5, 2014 at 7:03 pm #

    My name is Janet from usa,i want to say thanks to dr abiza for how he restored my marraige back within three days.My husband left me and two kids for eight months to stay with another woman, as if that was not enough he stoped paying our bills. One faithful day as i was browsing through my laptop i came accross a testimony by Mr Robert of how he gain his wife back after two years of seperation with the help of a great spell caster called Dr abiza through this address (drabizaspelltemple20@hotmail.com).so i decided to give it a try and i contacted him through the email address Mr Robert pasted along with his testimony. After some minutes of chat with the spell caster he told me what to do which i really did. To cut my own testimony short, my husband came home after three days as said by the spell caster, begging me on his knees to forgive him for the ill treatment he gave to me and the kids.Now am happy with my family again.

  121. Patsy June 18, 2014 at 3:14 pm #

    My programmer is trying to convince me to move to .net
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  122. diabetes awareness December 15, 2014 at 2:08 pm #

    For example, a study examined the effect of magnesium or placebo in 63 people with type 2 diabetes and low magnesium levels who
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  123. Sid August 6, 2015 at 10:27 am #

    Thank you for this. My significant other is having an episode and left impulsively 2 days ago with only the clothes on his back to be with someone he doesn’t know, someone who is offering sex drugs and alcohol and a different reality. Yesterday he reached out to me saying he was coming back today, that he felt awful and needed help and wanted to be home with me. I have sent messages of support in the meantime and am praying he will find his way out. I’m so worried he will continue to be used by this person and isolated with no medication or true support. I wish there was something I could have done to prevent this, I wish there was a way for me to help him. 😦

  124. Greg June 24, 2016 at 7:32 pm #

    I just read this and I fight for my wife everyday. I love her and am devoted. She is an alcoholic and when the demon comes out she leaves us to drink away the thoughts. She has told me many times “of it weren’t for you it’d be dead”. She’s gone now. Drinking herself into forgetfulness at her friends house. She love me to the moon and back, I know it. Whoever wrote this thread please help me understand. Thank you.

    • kelly chance June 25, 2016 at 1:32 pm #

      I KNOW you Love your wife so much & I know its a TERRIBLE disease , Bi Polar. I have it & my Husband has it… I go & get help & he resisted for AGES… He finally took himself to a detox for the Opiates & is NOW getting ready for therapy. My advice to u is, be supportive BUT, do NOT BABY her… She HAS to want to get help & ADMIT it to herself. Theres 2 things here, Addiction & mental health. My Therapist told me ages ago, no matter HOW much you love them, the USER loves the drugs/drink MORE than ANYTHING… U your family, WILL NEVER BE 1st.. no matter what she claims or how you feel…. UNTIL, she admits to her Demons… Shes in there… She does Love u BUT , the addiction is stronger & MORE important to her… Encourage her BUT, do NOT leave urself open to be victimized by her … U deserve better, she KNOWS it, God Knows it, U just have to know it….. Take care of YOURSELF. U have been Traumatized too…. Remember, u cannot save someone that doesnt want to be saved. Get to a NA meeting for yourself… go to therapy… Do NOT lose yourself in this…. Most of all, PRAY… God will see you thru.
      Many Blessings ~ Kelly

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