Bloggy de blog blog

31 May

 So my dear Bon nailed me on this one. And since she’s actually close enough to drive across the bridge and beat me, I guess I should do it.

 Your mission: Give these questions a stab in a post, and then tag three more writers. If you don’t mind, please link back to this original entry—we’d LOVE to track the progress of this meme with trackbacks.

1. Go back to first or early post. How would you describe your voice back in those early days? Who were you writing to? What was your sense of audience (if any) back then?

Do we really need to even go there? When I moved my blog from blogger to wordpress, I left a few things behind. (This was when you couldn’t import from the beta) Because frankly, they were embarressing and rather painful. I was stumbling around, looking for what I wanted to voice. Many of the “mommy” blogs I encountered in the beginning were annoying and painful. I didn’t want to mirror that. But I wanted to talk about my experiences, what my life has been mad of.

Initially I had two blogs-one that focused on mothering, and the other that was more “just me”. Then I realized that I couldn’t separate the two, or that I shouldn’t. So I moved everything back to here.

I really didn’t have a sense of an audience, or a desire to find one. I just wanted to talk, and be heard by someone, somewhere. It took awhile for me to settle into the persona I wanted to portray online.

2. Do you remember when you received your first comment? What was it like?

The comments I remember as being meaningful are the ones that echoed my experiences-other women talking about their losses, their pain with mental illness, their distaste for their children at times. Those comments mattered. Sure, it’s nice to receive oodles of comments on mindless posts, but to what end? That always plays out as a popularity contest, and I’ve found myself being more interested in impacting other people.

3. Can you point to a stage where you began to feel that your blog might be part of a conversation? Where you might be part of a larger community of interacting writers?

When I started writing about my experiences with post partum despression, I found a nerve that was exposed but not seen. I found other women who had been there, who didn’t apologize for it, who accepted it. Writing about my struggles with motherloss and bipolar has also helped me feel more entrenched in a world of sorts. Often I look around and see these things compartmentalized-but I am not a compartment. All of these pieces, these issues, tie into one thing. ME. Finding others who viewed me as such helped me think that maybe, somehow, I was adding to the conversation.

4. Do you think that this sense of audience or community might have affected the way you began to write?

There are things I don’t talk about, but it’s more because people I know in real life read this site, and I just don’t want to deal with certain things, despite how much I’d like to write about them. But those things are rare. I find myself holding back only when it comes to my own personal criticisms of other bloggers-things I find repulsive, or petty or childish. There is no point in putting that stuff out there, just for the sake of doing do. I don’t think the community I find around me would really want to see that.

Mostly, I’m my same stupid self on here that I am otherwise. A little more verbose and well spoken perhaps, but my same dorky self. I tend to suffer from foot in mouth disease rather than being too quiet.

It’s a problem.

Apparently, I need to tag 3 people. Sooooo…..Eden, Stuntmother & Netter, you’re IT.

11 Responses to “Bloggy de blog blog”

  1. Eden May 31, 2007 at 1:36 pm #

    I accept your challenge. Give me a few days to find the time to devote. Also I got some bathy stuff from Jen so I’m distracted by yummy smells atm. 😉

  2. jkdufair May 31, 2007 at 2:51 pm #

    Not conceit, I think. You’ve certainly impacted me very deeply, Thor.

    Hey, wait! Where’d that line go? You need to talk to your copy editor.

  3. thordora May 31, 2007 at 3:04 pm #

    Editing my dear watson. It was an unfinished thought I didn’t have the energy to finish.

  4. bon May 31, 2007 at 6:32 pm #

    this was great, Thor – i shall refrain from crossing the bridge, i suppose, to beat you. but i could! (or i could go shopping instead, which is not entirely my thing either, but more likely, and we could meet at Timmy’s and i could spill coffee on you and you’d wonder if it was accidental or if it was because you ignored my meme…oh yeh. you’d wonder.)

    i know what you mean about comments that matter…i think when one is carting around some pain, pansies and sunbeams just kinda fall short in response.

    i personally am awfully glad your voice is out there, contributing to the conversations with honesty.

    if you wanna link this back to BlogRhet (link’s on my original), then you shall be included in the grand collection Joy is promising…your call.

  5. thordora May 31, 2007 at 6:35 pm #

    I linked back! I did, really!

    And we can go to Timothy’s or Starbucks….Tim’s makes my gut try to escape thru my butt.

  6. Bon May 31, 2007 at 10:03 pm #

    Timmy’s also just tastes like suck…clearly you are a kindred spirit. what bad Canadians we are!

  7. slouching mom May 31, 2007 at 10:06 pm #

    Initially I had two blogs-one that focused on mothering, and the other that was more “just me”. Then I realized that I couldn’t separate the two, or that I shouldn’t.

    I had the same dilemma and came to the same conclusion. I find the two basically impossible to separate.

    Which is why I hate the term “mommybloggers.”

  8. thordora June 1, 2007 at 7:14 am #

    In some cases, that term applies-I’m thinking of blogs that specifically center around the kids, and function more as a daily chonicle. In those cases, it almost applies.

    For anyone who ventures beyond that limits realm, it’s almost insulting. I’m not limited to my kids by any means. And I’d say 95% of blogging mothers aren’t either.

  9. Mary G June 13, 2007 at 6:28 am #

    You’re now on the list. I love your voice here — honest to the point of pain and so articulate. Wow.

  10. thordora June 13, 2007 at 8:46 am #

    Wow. thanks Mary! Beware though-most of the time I’m talking out of my ass.

  11. Catherine July 6, 2007 at 3:43 pm #

    Hey there! I just found you via this meme, which I just completed myself (obviously running a bit behind) and now am back to read the others.

    Your blog seems really creative… Its nice to “meet” you. 🙂

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