29 May

The sun filters through my window, falling gently on the floor, alighting on hair the color of ash trees in fall. It’s peaceful here, until

the screaming and the yelling and the throwing and the crying the crocodile tears of a toddler streaming as I stare blankly into my green backyard, newly green after holding it’s breath all spring. The screaming, oh the screaming, imagined hurts, wounds, offences.

It’s hard work being 2 after all. Hard to notice the simple things like blessings and food and safety and security. Hard to notice that life had gifted you more than 80% of the world-a home, people who love you and keep you safe. It’s hard to remember this when someone else has the toy that you want.

Tears turn into sobs and more offended screeching. Everything is hers, everything you touch she must also touch, she must see SEE! I wanna SEE! I need! I need!

I need too. I need time to speed up just a little and go past this place, this time that infuriates me so, this time I cannot comprehend, of such selfishness. This place that makes me scream until I lose my voice, this place that cannot stop touching me, grabbing for me, when all I want to do is stare out into my greener backyard.

4 Responses to “2”

  1. ann adams May 29, 2007 at 9:52 am #

    Not that I want to discourage you but the terrible twos will eventually give way to the terrible tweens.

    Same thing only taller and louder.

  2. Netter May 29, 2007 at 10:19 am #

    Someone remind me when motherhood becomes sweetness and light and all that goody goody crap?

  3. Missy May 29, 2007 at 2:27 pm #

    Two may be kicking your ass, but just wait for 16. 16 is kicking ass and taking names. Oh wait. We’re not taking names. Writing down messages is for losers. SHEESH, MOM. //slam//

  4. eric May 30, 2007 at 4:35 am #

    haha, well done

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