14 May

are not good for me right now, and I think this will be a break, perhaps a permanent one.

I’m having a lot of trouble sustaining anything right now, and I have no doubt that no one wants to read the ranting pissed off suicidal crap I’d be spewing.

25 Responses to “Things”

  1. ann adams May 14, 2007 at 9:45 am #

    If talking helps at all, you have my address.


  2. Netter May 14, 2007 at 9:46 am #

    I’ll miss you. I hope to see you soon. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

  3. Carin May 14, 2007 at 9:49 am #

    Hang in there, I’ll think of you. You know where to email me if ya want.

  4. allyo May 14, 2007 at 10:11 am #

    I wish you wouldn’t. I worry about you. Take care.

  5. PrettyMommy May 14, 2007 at 10:22 am #

    email me if you need to vent. Hugs.

  6. Jennnifer May 14, 2007 at 10:36 am #

    Don’t you dare say that woman. Get your ass back here and spew all that crap out on the damn internet. Do you think it’s doing any good being bottled up inside? People read you because they care, not because you have to be something you ain’t, or you’re afraid of then seeing you on the inside. You got warts chick. Wear em.

    That being said, please, please please go back and see your doctor. Having suicidal thoughts….not good. BUt I don’t have to tell you that. Go now.

  7. Marcy May 14, 2007 at 10:50 am #

    I’m with Jennifer on this one. We do want to hear your crap, and it is much better for you to spew it than bottle it. Even if you decide to use some other outlet than your blog, do spew. Hopefully to a therapist!

    Wishing many bright and intense glimpses of light and hope for you in these dark days.

  8. sweetsalty kate May 14, 2007 at 12:03 pm #

    I third Jennifer. Think my writing is all frigging roses right now? Hell no.. but I don’t care. It’s more for me these days than for anyone else. Priceless. Acknowledge the same for you. Just get it out. Someone out there will always relate, will have some comfort in your words even when you don’t.

    Perhaps the right thing to say is “Do whatever feels right for you, let us know when you’re ready to come back…” but my instinct is to say, “Hell, girl! Don’t you dare go anywhere.”

  9. Jen May 14, 2007 at 12:10 pm #

    If you need ANYTHING you have my email, ok? I’m worried about you, and would rather hear spew than nothing. Sending all the good thoughts/healing/white light/hippie crap I can muster wrapped in a big, stubborn hug.

  10. mercurial scribe May 14, 2007 at 1:28 pm #

    i fourth Jennifer. i want to hear what you have to say, want to be able to counter it with reason and sympathy and support. Don’t cut yourself off for too long, thordora. Hide for a bit if you must, but come back to us. We need to hear that we’re not the only ones who experience these hard times as much as you NEED to tell us about it.

    If you need to spew privately, PLEASE email or IM me. i’m hardly ever far from my computer these days.

    AIM: jhcatwomyn

  11. Barby May 14, 2007 at 5:27 pm #

    dora Dora Dora. Don’t disappear completely. I know we don’t know each other very well, but feel free to e-mail me ify ou need anything. And as sad and depressed and suicidal as you are, I always like to hear what you have to say, especially since we have so much in common like that. Try to smile!

  12. landismom May 14, 2007 at 10:02 pm #

    hope you are able to find some peace, and to fifth Jenny, please, if you need to, vent here.

  13. Erika, Plain Jane Mom May 14, 2007 at 10:50 pm #

    Come back.

  14. Pissoff May 14, 2007 at 11:26 pm #

    Hey Thor… Hang in there girl. I have to agree with Jennifer, vent it all out. You’ve got a ton of people that care for you. Remember… you’re not alone.


  15. CharmingDriver May 14, 2007 at 11:39 pm #

    Hey hon, you don’t know me from a can of paint but please hear me when I say that withdrawing into yourself right now isn’t good for you. I don’t have the same diagnosis as you but I know the struggle with bottoming out and flirting with the idea of suicide and alone with your thoughts is not the best place to be when things get that low.

    Again, you wouldn’t know me if I waved on the street but I think about you and hope for the best for you and yours. Stick around babe; it will get better. Promise.

  16. karrie May 15, 2007 at 7:12 am #

    Yup. Spew it, if it helps, in any small way. (You can always delete it later.)

    Thinking of you, and hoping today is a little better.

  17. thordora May 15, 2007 at 8:13 am #

    I appreciate the kind words everyone. I likely won’t disappear, not right now, but Im having a hard time making the rounds and finding the words myself. But yours are heard. I thank you.

  18. coolbeans May 15, 2007 at 10:35 am #

    I did the same thing. The break was good. What was in my head looked much better in a notebook than on a screen. Be gentle with yourself.

  19. Hol May 15, 2007 at 11:42 am #

    I happened to find your blog today.
    Like Jennifer and everyone else said, vent here or to someone. I can tell how much everyone would miss you. A LOT! 🙂

    My thoughts and prayers are with you.

  20. MammaLoves May 15, 2007 at 11:56 am #

    No pressure to make the rounds. That’s the beauty of blogging…once you’re on the reader we’ll always be here when you return.

    Be gentle to yourself right now. We are here for you even if it is in spirit. I send you many supportive thoughts.

  21. crunchy May 15, 2007 at 12:13 pm #

    If you can’t ‘spew’ on your own blog…where can you?
    We are all here for ya.

  22. Jennnifer May 15, 2007 at 12:17 pm #

    Just giving you a poke.

    I’m gonna start to harass you on Facebook too, they have a poke feature. I like to poke.

    Oh, that sounded dirty.

  23. Melanie May 16, 2007 at 1:59 am #

    Thordora, feel free to spew whatever the hell you want here. This is your space. YOUR space. And even if the answer to that is “no,” we’ll be here waiting for when you feel more yourself.

  24. thordora May 16, 2007 at 1:57 pm #

    Dear gawd Jen, no poking. I cannot deal with Facebook anymore…I swear, one more juvenile piece of timewasted work with punctuation I’m going to snap.

    And again-thank you everyone. For the most part, the cloud has lifted, the waters receeding. But I thank you.

  25. queeniebad May 17, 2007 at 4:18 pm #

    Come on back Thordora. I’m happy to read your spewing-gives me a break from my own spewing. I’m thinking of you and hoping you’re okay, and you’re out there talking to somebody irl if you’re not.

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