Weekend Revel

30 Apr

So I made a concious effort to stay off the internet this weekend-checking my email only occasionally.

What an odd thing, to be impressed by staying off the web.

I went for a 1.5 hour walk on the trail behind my house, somehow getting blisters on the inside of two toes. (My feet are huge). I was pissy, and sad Saturday morning, and a long hard walk was exactly what I needed. I walked out my anger, and sadness into the beauty I found in those woods.

I’m so lucky to have this trail behind my house.

So I survived that date again.

I had a dream last night that I might a guy while sitting, waiting. He asked me what was so bad. And crying, I explained it all-how it hurt to lose my mother, how that pain is sometimes fresh every day, how I grew up without a female guide. How lonely I felt sometimes. How easily I slipped right back to that day when she died.

He said nothing, but let me simper all of this out at him.

Apparently, my unconcious needed to rid itself of the pain as well.

How many years? How many years til it doesn’t bother me at all?

This is yet another reason why I stayed away-I had nothing of value to contribute all weekend long anyway.

May starts this week. But then, I have my first root canal appointment this week, so we’ll see how it all turns out.

8 Responses to “Weekend Revel”

  1. jkdufair April 30, 2007 at 7:11 am #

    Glad you made it through, Thor. Here’s to a great May, root canal notwithstanding.

  2. radicalmama April 30, 2007 at 8:25 am #

    You seem to do a pretty good job of giving yourself what you need when you need it, like walking. (And as one big-foot person to another, I totally sympathize with the blisers!)

    I hope May is better for you, though it does suck about the root canal. The most dental work I have experienced was a wisdom tooth extraction, and that was bad enough.

  3. Marcy April 30, 2007 at 8:43 am #

    Funny how limiting internet time can make us feel better… I need to work on that myself.

    Glad you’ve made it through another April.

  4. Jennnifer April 30, 2007 at 9:48 am #

    Glad you survived, wondered where you were. 😉

    Ever wonder if that man you met was your spirit guide?

  5. thordora April 30, 2007 at 9:54 am #

    Actually, I do wonder about the people in my dreams, since there tend to be similarities. I don’t really believe in most of that mumbo-gumbo, but I do believe that my own brain will provide the answers in some form or another.

    It was a weird dream. Just like most of my dreams.

  6. Marcy April 30, 2007 at 10:09 am #

    My therapist thought a lot of the people in my dreams were different versions of myself. That’s opened up all sorts of things in interpretation.

  7. karriew April 30, 2007 at 1:41 pm #

    Just one more day.

    I’m glad you found a positive way to help make your day easier. Here’s to May!

  8. bromac April 30, 2007 at 2:29 pm #

    Good Job on the walk! Just let your body take over and allow your mind a break for a minute.

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