Arms Akimbo

5 Mar

It’s a line remembered from

that children’s dictionary,

the one with the

red letters on the cover, the one you bought me my seventh year

my mother, meant to educate, to provide the means for me

to express in this world 

Years later the only word I remember, akimbo

images of girls walking along, walking arm in arm smiling,

dressed in matching socks and ribbons

The only word I’ve never used out loud. 

This morning I thought it, confronted with not one but two groups of matching women, walking beside

each other walking to

take up all the room in the aisle of this saddened mall 

I thought of you mother, your hands holding my arms as we walked

akimbo down the aisles somewhere once. 

In my ears it resounds Akimbo Akimbo and I can’t help but 

see myself on my bed, the scary silly circus paper on my walls where I 

colored all the eyes black the window where 

lights shone through at night and I couldn’t sleep. 

I couldn’t sleep. 

In my dreams, we never walk together.

3 Responses to “Arms Akimbo”

  1. Jason Dufair March 5, 2007 at 11:28 am #

    Would that you could still walk arms akimbo with her. I’ll have to make sure to do that some with my kids.

    Thanks for writing. These are the posts I yearn for when I hit the feed reader. It gives me insight into what may be happening in my daughters’ souls that I wouldn’t otherwise have access to.

  2. thordora March 5, 2007 at 11:37 am #

    I just wish the bloody thing would format correctly. GRRRR. If there’s one reason to move to my own site….

    It just struck me this morning that I always remember that word, that page in the book, and I’ve never known why.

  3. ~atom~ March 5, 2007 at 5:47 pm #

    i’ve been postponing my root canal for 3 months… not a good idea :s

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