People I cuss about

15 Feb

I was thinking this morning about karma.

While I visited my friend in Toronto, we got to talking about people we know, people we knew, high school, the sort of stuff you talk about when you run into old friends. I asked about a girl she was friends with once, and who she ended up not being friends with anymore. That girl, in short, was a cunt.

She told me a story about the girl running into an old friend, who was admittedly a bit odd, but harmless. He asked why they lost touch. Her response?

“I don’t know, but let’s keep it that way, hmm?”

She’s an asshole. She’s always been an asshole.

But you know what? She’s doing what I thought I would be doing at this point in my life, working on my degree, doing studies, doing wonderful, literate things, learning, discovering. But I’m not. I’m stuck in the armpit raising two children. Sure, I’m in love, and I love my kids, but this isn’t exactly what I imagined years ago.

Is it fair that the jackass got the life I wanted, or thought I wanted? Is it weird that I’m jealous of her in some weird way, the same way I was jealous of her being skinny in high school? (I wasn’t jealous of the camel toe she frequently showed off however) Is it wrong to be happy that despite her “success” she’s still the same bitch she always was?

Maybe the school path really wasn’t the right one for me. Would I have become even more of a jerk? Would I have become fluffed up on myself, believing my own hype because I can write a paper, because I spent years and years in school? Would I have remained the same person I was at 19? Because her behaviour struck me as really selfish and immature, and made me wonder if she had really learned anything at all.

8 Responses to “People I cuss about”

  1. Eden February 15, 2007 at 11:58 am #

    I think it’s b/c people are assholes that they “get ahead” in life in this way. They trample people, aren’t liked, etc but apparently they’re “winning” the game. In my experience, these are sad, lonely, pathetic, two-dimensional people and I would rather be a loser in the life game than have no respect, love or comfort in the world.

    Let’s see: people like you, you’re one of the most articulate & compelling writers I’ve ever come across, you have a beautiful family and you seem to know who you are and what you want. She has camel toe, a rep as a living bitch on ice, fewer pounds and maybe an extra degree that will sit in storage and do her no good. I don’t think she’s the one to be jealous of πŸ˜‰

  2. kate1976 February 15, 2007 at 12:46 pm #

    I agree with Eden. Who wants to be the same person they were at 19? Well, maybe I would take the waist size I had at 19 but thats about it!!!

  3. Jason Dufair February 15, 2007 at 1:46 pm #

    To bastardize the Tao Te Ching: The life that can be bragged about is not the eternal life.

    To actually quote the Tao Te Ching:
    Free from desire, you realize the mystery.
    Caught in desire, you see only the manifestations.

    She lives in her own personal hell.

    As far as doing “doing wonderful, literate things, learning, discovering,” well, this blog is a testament to the wonderful and literate. Your journey into diagnosis, realization, and treatment of bipolar is nothing if not learning. As far as working on a degree, studies, well that’s just paper. I spent 5 years prostrate to the higher mind, got my paper and I was free. Universities aren’t going anywhere, but your kids are growing faster than kudzu in Georgia.

    And I doubt you’ll become fluffed up if/when you go back. I think you’re just too honest for fluffery. Your honor, I present a scarf crocheted by the defendant for a girl she doesn’t know but who is grieving like the defendant did as evidence.

  4. Carin February 15, 2007 at 2:34 pm #

    Yeah, often times the ones who are the superbitches get the studies, but try having a conversation with them. It won’t take long before you’ll hear that hollow sound. The one that says there’s nothing below the exterior. Then you hear another sound. A warning alarm. Be careful of these people, they’ll stab you in the back as fast as talk to you. Ug.

  5. thordora February 15, 2007 at 5:09 pm #


    I’m gonna get a big head from all the compliments in this place today. πŸ˜›

    I hope she liked it Jason. Lots of love and happy thoughts went into that soft little thing.

  6. Jen February 15, 2007 at 6:05 pm #

    This is why I talk to next to nobody from high school–they were jerks then and I doubt time has cured that affliction. And, let’s face it, no amount of higher education can make a twat less of a twat.
    And, please, I highly doubt that bitch has half the talent and intelligence that you do.

  7. liprap February 15, 2007 at 11:16 pm #

    My own gripe about this phenomenon:

    I should get over it, too. But it is hard.

  8. Jennifer February 17, 2007 at 1:21 am #

    Yeah. I feel your pain. I hate it when complete self absorbed bitches do well. I want to see them befall something horrid. My middle school nemisis is now an Optomotrist who owns her own practice. I hated her. I hope she has bad breath and chases men away.

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