There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.

Life is, changing.
Many of you know, hiding in my hidey-hole, exactly what’s changing, and maybe we can come right out and whisper
(divorce)
in a small small voice so no one hears.
Terror? It comes in corners, scatters and clatters up against me, scoots up my leg and straight into my heart. To be responsible for me, well now, I’ll [...]

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That time of the month

Ever have one of those weeks where the sky is falling, you’re a horrid nasty person and you just want to move to Australia?
Sweet fuck I’m having one of those weeks.
The problem with me is, specifically,  is that when PMS comes, in it’s glory, sometimes I turn into a person not so much myself. It [...]

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Wanna answer some questions?

Considering my obsession with age lately, I’ve decided to give myself a bit of a writing project for the winter-I have no real endgame with this, aside from perhaps, for once, completing something.
 
I’m looking to basically wrap the narrative of events of my life around some very cardinal themes-with those being specific to age-growth, death, change, love. [...]

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The best time of age.

I was raised to nibble on the old chestnut that youth was the most perfect, achingly lovely thing around. When I was a kid, it was perfectly normal to hear some Rothman’s chain smoking old man mutter about the best years of my life as he slowly leaned back in his old recliner, hands rustling [...]

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Gift Me

I wish to climb inside of you
sweet, to be cradled my small body
warmed by yours, heated.
I’d shape my body as a walnut
round edges and soft youth
shrunk to where you can hold me
this body will raise unfettered
glorious as part of you
flesh blood and years.
Gift me this time. Gift me
your moments, hands held in quiet snowbanks
kisses on [...]

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“Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music.”

The sunrise makes me think it.
The pocket of time, like air, entitled in our hands. The golden reach of the morning, shuddering into pinks and purples, gently stretching across the horizon, languid. In moments, small steps, the light reaches for me, cups my chin, laughs her soft laugh and presents her glory to me, my [...]

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Our true nature is free of any and all notions of gender, of any notions of difference whatsoever.

It’s early, it’s dark it’s raining and I’m just too tired to crack open a book, opting instead to look at the window and strain to listen to any conversation on the bus. Not that there’s much-it’s 7am and people can barely muster the will to move towards a seat, let alone cobble together a [...]

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Kids these days…

We go to a show to see these guys, an all ages show, a rarity around here, most places really. It’s good-when you’re a kid and you live anywhere that’s not Toronto or Montreal or such, see a band while underage-nearly impossible, like gaining the grail from some wizened old man who didn’t want to [...]

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Think not on the bipolar mother.

I read my email, my breath stricken, sliding down my chest, a friend, writing in response to my everything ok? her response most definitely not ok, not to me, not really.
I’ll leave her to out herself if she wishes, but she’s wonderfully aware of the magic our world provides and harbours a distinct talent for [...]

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Kate Tells…

 
Love Kate. Love The Dread Crew. Answer, and maybe win a signed review copy you can sell for millions on eBay when Kate is the next Stephanie Meyer. Without the crap writing and sparkle.
 
1)  You are facing an epic journey. You may choose one companion, one tool and one vehicle from any book or film [...]

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Don’t hold your breath.

My father emerges from a dusky purple car after 5 months or so, all smoke and ash and grime, and I find myself startled. He is gaunt, he is, smaller, almost dainty. The voluminous man I grew up with, all substance and solidity, he’s hidden away in a back pocket and instead this husk stands before me [...]

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Opus 32

I feel old.
My daughter asks, as we read a book of numbers with her sister, after she’s seen herself, 6!, which one I am. She pauses before I can answer, remembering, oh! you’re 32, spitting the words out like something she doesn’t like to eat, squash or raw potato. Not as old I remind her, [...]

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Thank you for calling…

I spend my days around people who use the word “they” like a metaphor to be feared, a blanket to cover their day and their worries. I listen to the sheltered bigotry of people who would never claim to be racist or sexist or classist.
They hate talking to cheap paki’s who try and bargain their [...]

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In health there is freedom. Health is the first of all liberties.

I could always feel the slight something off.
Not wrong. Just…slightly left of center. An ability to feel more keenly, sensitive. A “cry-baby” as peers, teachers, and occasionally parents, frustrated, would call it.
After my mother died, I felt this power even more, picking up on the emotion radiating from others, swallowing it much like a sin [...]

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Walk

 

They skip ahead of me, as usual, half running, half jumping, singing “Last one to the bridge is a rotten, or in Rosalyn’s case, a “wotten” egg.”
Vivian runs fearlessly, straight on until morning, Ros, not so much, casting the odd glance backwards, looking for me, torn between grown up fun and the security of my [...]

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Written

I started.
I always say that, in my head or allowed, assuming that thought and plotting counts as starting the writing. But this week, I really did.
I took the plunge, and started writing my book.
The first night of writing was like being punched, repeatedly in the stomach. The very act of writing down, in some cases, [...]

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What would you do

It was cold when I climbed on the bus, too cold for July in my mind. I had walked, alone, bag on back, full of clothes, books stolen from libraries, cigarettes. Not much money. I could see my breath on the air at 6am, and I moved quickly to the gas station that doubled as [...]

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Life is not fair Honey Bear.

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Originally uploaded by thordora

She’s been tears and fears lately, brimming with joy and cringing at the wings she’s growing, her feathers new and moist.
It’s hard to be six.
The world is unfair. She needs help. She isn’t smart enough. She isn’t good enough.
The words from a toxic friendship with an even more toxic parent still hover [...]

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It’s a perfect day.

We walked up the gravel path, my girls and I. Rosalyn slightly unwilling and surly about the entire thing, Vivian bouncing and running ahead, Tigger in blue stripes and purple suede shoes. We walk the path we always do, past the blackberry and raspberry bushes, past where the caterpillars made their huge tent nest one [...]

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“Adults are obsolete children.”

I turned around and summer had stood up, dusted itself off, and wandered into a closet somewhere near Tasmania. I could have sworn that I was just complaining about never ending heat and humidity, sweat dripping off the tip of my nose. Lo-it’s fall suddenly, leaves holding their aching backs and turning gemlike, me needing [...]

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