” Difficult times have helped me to understand better than before, how infinitely rich and beautiful life is in every way, and that so many things that one goes worrying about are of no importance whatsoever… “

In about 12 hours, it will be a new year on my neck of the woods.
I was gifted “Madness” by Marya Hornbacher this year, and have been reading it in bits. It’s painful, too painful. The mirror of who I was, who I could be, how bad it could get, could have been, sometimes is. [...]

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“I imagine them without fathers or mothers, like the first gods.”

I ask my brother on Christmas Eve for a game of Trivial Pursuit. Barely looking up from his online poker whatever, he says yes.
I wait. I wait. Until it becomes apparent that I won’t be playing anything.
Like last year. The year before that. Yesterday. 1995. Year upon year upon year of “wait”, “just a minute” [...]

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She Blinded me with science!

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Jolly

I’ve been trying to write a Christmas post for a few days now-not the angel gets it’s wings type post, but just something weightier than my facebook status of “I don’t care.”
I haven’t, but that’s beside the point.
I’m trying to get the girls into a tradition of doing nice things for their neighbours, so I [...]

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Truth in storytelling.

Today I was watching a mediocre movie, and Rosalyn walked by. I snatched her up, her giggles bubbling around the room, bursting into flower as she melted back into me, into this rare, uninvited show of love. The horrid condition of the ceiling didn’t matter, the creature we call a carpet didn’t matter-all I could [...]

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Uns der Gnaden Fülle läßt seh’n

Aisle.
Aisle.
Aisle.
The blank, confused faces of other parents, juggling, searching, questioning.
Too short.
Too whorish.
Too young.
Too old.
Too-jebbus what the FUCK is that?
Too much. Too much stuff. Too much noise.
Too purple.
I hate Christmas.
I’ve only come to hate it recently. It used to rest in my head as “that holiday that will never be enough because you have no mommy, [...]

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Best Xmas Present Evah!

I finally found the original image again-this is Mauricio Dias’ take on Wonder Woman, and I LOVE IT. Of course, I added legs, but still…
I’m sure many people are wondering why in the hell I’d put a comic book character on my forearm…
After my mother died, I spent ever MORE time at the local library-as [...]

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I can’t has.

It’s a busy mall-it’s nearly Christmas, and I’m sitting waiting for my husband, perched on a rather soft bench. Waiting doesn’t bother me when my kids aren’t involved, so I casually stare around me, the sale signs, the ridiculous advertisements. I remember I want to get a coffee card for my father, and think to get [...]

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The ladies, lately.

 

 

 

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“The love of knowledge comes with reading and grows upon it.”

Family lore dictates that I began reading I two. Since that would make me freakishly intelligent, I beg to differ, but it makes a good story after all.
This doesn’t mean I didn’t spend age two and onward with Vivian waiting breathlessly for her to show some sign, some indication that her brain was translating chicken [...]

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Dear Bipolar

GO FUCK YOURSELF.
I’m tired of this. TIRED. Capital everything tired. I’ve spent today so fucking agitated I couldn’t sit still, couldn’t focus, my brain full of static and goo, heavy and wilted, after spending last night away and hearing music no one ever wrote in my ears before falling into a drugged stupor.
I’m really tired [...]

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“These are weighty secrets, and we must whisper them.”

Dear Body.
I love you. I’ve decided, finally, to come off the fence, and just say it.
I’ve spent time loathing you. Holding parts of you and crying, being angry, wishing something could be smaller or bigger, my tits not so pendulous, my thighs not so strong. I’ve stared in a mirror many times, glaring at my [...]

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“The test of a vocation is the love of the drudgery it involves. “

We would sit in the orange vinyl booth seats, my mother and I, in the cafeteria of the mid-range department store my father had. It would be a Tuesday, or a Friday, and she’d have a coffee, heavy on milk and sugar, and I’d have an apple-cinnamon muffin, butter melted moist in the middle, and [...]

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You know….

Only in canada would we consider nearly 50 cms of snow FLURRIES.

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This rant brought to you by curry and chips. And Devics.

You know, I think I’m just about done with the “blogosphere”.
I don’t necessarily mean I’m going to back up my shit and high tail it out of here, oh no. Posting may be down, but I’m not out.
A few years back, when I entered into the fray naive and innocent, I was enthralled by the [...]

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“The timing of death, like the ending of a story, gives a changed meaning to what preceded it. “

She was predeceased by Wilfrid and Mona in the great polio epidemic of 1918-20
Vlad was known far and wide as his major goal was to make as many friends during his lifetime as was humanly possible.
There was lots of work on the farm but she always insisted Johnny and I go to school.
He was [...]

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Since nessa thinks I’m quiet

Have more music.

gotta have you: The Weepies.

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