“She’s…special.”

We walk to the school, full of virus and tiredness and the drudgery of another day with kids and the cost of a day off.
But the sun shines, and the morning is clear.
Our first parent teacher conference. 10 minutes of a life, to hear of how the last 5 years of our life have impacted [...]

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“Perseverance is the most overrated of traits, if it is unaccompanied by talent; beating your head against a wall is more likely to produce a concussion in the head than a hole in the wall. “

When did we stop eating?
Or rather, when did we stop eating for the sake of eating, for the wet juice of a warm peach down our throat? For the subtle play of a good marinara on our tongue? for the sweet taste of fresh baked warm bread and creamy butter? When did we stop eating [...]

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Please help me before someone gets killed.

I love my youngest daughter.
I repeat this mantra almost daily.
Her older sister is, for the most part, intelligent, sweet natured, helpful-only a little attitude thrown in. (and that’s mostly just lately.) Vivian listens, she stays in bed, rarely needs extra attention. She’s the easy one.
Rosalyn makes me want to eat my shoes on a regular [...]

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Good Weekend

Night out with significant other and music, shopping with friend, new movies bought, 12 hour sleep in-and pumpkin carving, with the dissertation of Vivian

Not bad. Not bad at all. Too bad I’m at work again.

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“I wash my hands of those who imagine chattering to be knowledge, silence to be ignorance, and affection to be art.”

“It’s so nice! I don’t have to cook if I don’t want to, no one’s around for me to say “Why are YOUR bratty kids allowed to do that?” to, I come and go as I please….it’s fabulous!”
The vacancy stared around her, hovered over her blonde curls, her mid 40’s hands. Her slight friend nodded-hard, [...]

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Sorry for the Hissy Fit

Some of you may have noticed that this site had been protected-my way of not deleting the bloody thing.
Yes Melissa, I am depressed. That lurking, whispering depression that I hate, the little one that fills my lungs, convinces me that no one loves me, that the littlest forgetfulness or slight is a sign that I [...]

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Delicacy

We ride the bus, Ros and I, into the chromed sunset before us, plumes of cloud stretching off into the night colored cotton candy. I point to it, until her tiny pug nose is pushed against the window, smudging the glass with her exhaled breath.
“Oh Ros look how wonderful and beautiful it is! How lovely!”
She [...]

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8:40am

It’s 8:40am here.
My daughters are pretending to be puppies together in their room, sitting together, conspiring, flipping through books. Talking, singing, occasionally arguing, needing to be reminded to tone it down, stop using “that” word, be gentle.
Normal , normal little girls on a lazy Saturday morning, one we’ll repeat for years and they’ll remember fondly [...]

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I can’t resist.

  

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You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure , the process is its own reward.”

Never watch Law and Order SVU if there’s no plot synopsis.
Last night, that plot was bipolar, and I really wasn’t prepared.
I saw myself, fully, for the first time ever. Or as full as a healthy person can portray. I wish I could hate it, but I can only regret it while I use it, while [...]

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Down with my fat self, BUT…

I’m so fucking done with being big.
Wait. That sounds like I hate my body doesn’t it. I don’t. I’m down with my bad self. I’ve hugged my flub and made peace with it-while I may not be all puppies and rainbows about it, I’m done with worrying about my size. I know that I’ll never [...]

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Sigh

Canada?
YOU SUCK!
59% voter turnout? Seriously? Lowest turnout EVER? FFS….. (My province at the moment only come in with 63%. Go us)
Voting in another minority government? Really?
Giving the bloody Tories MORE seats after they call an unnecessary election and cost us 300 million? For Real?
I’m looking forward to a day when the ENTIRE population takes voting [...]

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VOTE BITCHES!

It’s that time of year! Time to go vote!
I don’t want to hear any crap about not knowing anything, or thinking your vote doesn’t count. If you know more about Dancing with the Stars than your options politically, you should be ashamed of yourself. Sadly, I know this applies to FAR too many people.
Polls are [...]

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Last Night

Went to my first show in literal years. No anxiety. No clutching at my chest or cold sweats. Amusement at the youngin’s, lost in memory remembering myself, years past.
The bands? They rocked. Too bad I’m old and my feet hurt too much to stick around for the encore.

Opportunity: You [...]

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Eden Fantasys Toy Review: Silicone Play Set

I’m reviewing sex toys for Eden Fantasy’s.

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“She would rather light candles than curse the darkness and her glow has warmed the world.”

Today I spoke with my shrink for the first time since I tried to take my life.
The last time I saw her, she was sitting in a chair next to my bed in Acute, making that sucking face people make when they’ve stepped in something unpleasant. The look you give an errant child making foolish [...]

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My kids-let me show them to you.

Don’t blame me. I have nothing to do with this, aside from snickering…

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Teach me how to love.

When I was little, I played in the fern garden of my hated neighbour, pretending it was this raucous city with homes and streets, hurried businesses, the hustle and bustle of green and white striped socks and hot wheels.
But there were never families. There were never couples. No one lived happily ever after in my [...]

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Silent

 

 

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bzzzGAH!

I’m so agitated and manic this morning, I can’t stand it. and I don’t know what to do about it. It’s not agitated in terms of “gonna hurt someone”-it’s agitation trying to wrestle with the chaotic mess in my brain. I’m grinding my teeth so hard my head feels like it’s about to burst, and [...]

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