“RULES OF BEING A MOTHER”

3 May

There’s rules?

Did I miss a class in school? I know I bagged quite a few classes, but I’m sure I would have remembered that…

Should we have rules? Do we need them? Would they help us?

I have one rule-Create happy, content with themselves children. Children who will become women who will find their happiness and run with it, who will know their path. Children who will never say “what if”.

Should I rule over what I wear? Should I only wear culottes and high boots, even though the outfit makes me want to throw up on those very boots? Should there be a rule that I should learn how to drive to cart my kids around? Should I turn myself into a cookie machine? Stay at home, regardless of the financial consequences?

There are no rules because there are no answers. Aren’t we constrained enough by ourselves, by women? Aren’t we bound by the innumerable ways we criticize and beat ourselves down every day? Are we not ruled by our hearts, regardless?

There are no rules, because we don’t need them. We know the answers by heart. Love-love the people in your life. Forgive them for their idiocies. Feel blessed by what you have. Enjoy every second-it might end any time. Don’t worry about those things you can’t control. Eat the brownies.

Why are you looking for rules? Are you a mother, lost in the first few months after birth? We’ve all been there. It sucks. It’s hard, it’s boring, and it involved more bodily fluids than you’ve ever seen. It will be in your hair, and soon, you won’t even notice.

Are you a father, trying to constrain your wife further, your partner? Are you trying to tell her that there is a “way” she should act as a mother? That how she exists isn’t good enough?

Are you a child, wondering where it’s written that mother’s shouldn’t hurt you?

Are you any of us, looking for answers, and finding nothing?

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One Response to ““RULES OF BEING A MOTHER””

  1. Bromac May 3, 2007 at 2:15 pm #

    Two points. One, have you read The Alchemist? It is a fantastic life lessons type of book and discusses just this issue at length. The answers, any answer you need, is in your heart. The hard part is learning to listen to your heart. To follow your heart rather than quiet it’s murmer, which is what most of us do.

    Two, I saw a book advertised on BB (ahem, parent dish) yesterday. It was a guide book for raising a child with spiritaulity without religion. I had the same thought–why do we need rules, a guidebook—who made these rules—who says these are the right rules for me.

    Go with your gut, it’s there you’ll find all the rules you need.

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